Make Your Own Magic: How To Make Miracles Happen In Your Life

Transcript

Make Your Own Magic: How To Make Miracles Happen In Your Life Practical steps to help you achieve the goals you want in your life. A Coaching Session to Help Achievers Succeed in Their Goals By Terry L. Brock Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Terry L. Brock Terry Brock is an internationally recognized speaker, writer and consultant to businesses helping them leverage technology and marketing to increase business profits and productivity. . He has worked with clients in banking, accounting, real estate, financial planning, manufacturing, distribution and many other areas. He has a solid view of business and what is needed to succeed today from his background. He has taught people from organizations such as Inc. Magazine, Marriott Corporation, Sprint, Caterpillar, Michelin Tires, Avon Products, National Education Association, the Federal Reserve Bank, Hewlett-Packard (HP), Dell Computer and many others. He holds a Bachelor of Science degree in communications. His Master of Business Administration is in Marketing from Georgia State University. Terry is a regular columnist for Business Journals across America where his column is read by business owners and salespeople in cities such as Atlanta, Dallas, Denver, Minneapolis, Philadelphia, Washington, Sacramento and many others. Some of the countries where he has done business include: Canada, Mexico, England, France, Australia, Nigeria, Russia, Norway, United Arab Emirates, Singapore, Japan, Hong Kong, Bermuda, Indonesia Malaysia, Indonesia and even Texas! Terry has taught martial arts, worked in radio, newspapers, is studying the Russian and Japanese languages and rides a unicycle. -2- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Contents Introduction ...................................................................................... 4 Dedication........................................................................................ 8 Chapter 1 – Living in a Dream World ................................................ 10 Chapter 2 – Identifying what you really want..................................... 25 Chapter 3 – Determining What Is Necessary to Get What You Want ................................................................................ 44 Chapter 4 – Counting The Cost.......................................................... 64 Chapter 5 – Thinking About Tolerance .............................................. 88 Chapter 6 – Living Free In An Unfree World ..................................... 109 Chapter 7 – Making Your Magic Happen........................................... 130 Reference Section ............................................................................ 135 My Personal Articles For You ........................................................... 140 Principles For Success from General George S. Patton ....................... 150 -3- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Library of Congress Control Number 2034302498 Achievement Systems Press 7550 Hinson St. #15-C Orlando, FL 32819 USA Copyright © Achievement Systems, Inc. and Terry L. Brock All rights reserved Don’t even let the slightest little idea pop into your head that you can copy any portion of this work. Yes, that means you cannot store it in a retrieval system or transmit it by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying recording or any other technology that whiz bang folks come up with in the future! Well, unless you get written permission here, and that would be pretty easy, so you probably should drop us a note! ISBN 0-932353-1-9 To order additional copies of this book contact us as www.terrybrock.com or call 407-363-0505 in the United States. Enjoy! -4- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Introduction You can become the person you want to be and have the life that you dream about. You can achieve the goals that you have for your life and make those dreams reality. Think of yourself on the threshold of unparalleled success. A whole clear, glorious life lies before you. Achieve! Achieve! -- Andrew Carnegie However, it doesn’t happen by wishing. You have to make it happen. This book is about a journey that you and I are going to take together. I’ll be your coach and help you as we walk through what you need to create the world that is right for you. I’m going to say some things that will probably shake you up a bit. I’ll probably say some things that you don’t like. That’s OK. Hang in there with me and let’s take this wonderful ride for the adventure called, Making Your Life What You Want. You can do it. I must warn you at the outset that it is going to take courage. It is going to take throwing away some of the old ways of thinking that you might have embraced before. You’re going to have to make some major changes to make this happen, but I can promise you this: If you read this book and follow the steps, you will be able to get what you want in life. How can I make such a statement without knowing you or what your goals are? You might be asking yourself, “Who is this guy and just how can he possibly know what it is going to take to help me become what I want and achieve the goals that I have? Well, I’m just an average, normal guy. I wasn’t born into wealth or fame. I’ve worked hard all my life to achieve what I have. I have traveled to 25 countries and 5 continents so far around the world. I’ve had the privilege to speak with servants in Africa, multi-millionaires in the Middle East (and elsewhere), billionaires (in the US) and many income levels in between. -5- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles I’ve seen very successful people and miserable failures. I’ve had the chance to see what works and what doesn’t work on this planet. In this book, I’m going to be your coach and share some of these ideas with you. You and I are on a journey together that can change your life for the better. However, you have to commit. You have to commit to yourself that you are willing to pay the price to achieve the dreams that you have. In the final analysis, it is all up to you. You have to be willing to do what is necessary to turn your life around and correct those areas that need improvement. You have to decide today, right now as you’re reading this, that you want something different in your life so much that you are willing to work, study, learn and, most important, be willing to change your attitudes where necessary. If you are willing to make those changes in your life and willing to do whatever necessary to achieve the goals you have for yourself, you are ready to begin. The goals you set are going to be for you and you alone. I encourage you as you work with me on this journey that you share what you’re experiencing with only yourself and your personal diary or journal. Too often friends and even well meaning loved ones can put you off and laugh at you when you share your goals and dreams. Achieve your dreams first, and then share with others what you planned (past tense). Results have a way of speaking for themselves. You won’t have to worry about convincing others what you can do once you have that successful track record behind you. On the other hand, if you brag about what you’re going to do, you set yourself up for a fall. You lose either way. If what you’re boasting about (and it is boasting until you’ve done it) does happen, it won’t be a big deal since you’ve already told everyone about it. However, if it doesn’t happen either because you changed your mind or circumstances changed or there is any other reason why you didn’t do it, -6- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles you’re in trouble. You’ll look really bad not having done what you just told everybody you were going to do. "When we see ourselves in a You’ll want to “explain” why it didn’t situation which must be endured work to others but most won’t care. and gone through, it is best to They only want to hear about what happened. make up our minds to it, meet it Bragging about what you’re going to do and not coming through with it only means that others will think less of you. You don’t need that in life. with firmness, and accommodate everything to it in the best way practicable. This lessens the evil, while fretting and fuming only serves to increase your own torments." Thomas Jefferson 1743-1826, 3rd U.S. President It is far better to just keep your mouth shut about what you’re going to do and then tell others of your successes after you’ve done it. This way, you don’t lose. If you decide to attempt something and it fails only you will know about it and others will be none the wiser. In other words, for your own personal goals, shut up (don’t tell everyone what you’re planning) and put up (produce the results). This book is designed for you to work on it a step at a time. I begin in Chapter One to help you see life as it is and to help you get rid of thinking that the world will provide magic to solve your problems. You might feel your toes being stepped on from time to time. If it makes you think and question, that is good. I welcome your feedback, comments and even criticism. You can drop me an e-mail message anytime while reading through this. I’m here for you as a coach. Most of all, know that you are embarking on this journey for you. You are the one you’re going through life with now. In the quietness of your home, you are all alone. It is what psychologists called “intrapersonal communication” that matters. It is talk you have with yourself, by yourself that is so important. This book is my effort to help you as you talk with you to see what the potential is and how you can make miracles happen in your life. -7- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles If you’re ready to begin a journey that can change your life, let’s begin. We’re on to an adventure that can and will have profound impact on what you do, how you think and who you are. In fact, what you do with this book will determine who you become. I look forward to our journey together! Terry L. Brock Orlando, Florida Monday, September 1, 2003 [email protected] www.terrybrock.com -8- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Dedication I dedicate this book to several people. First, it is dedicated to you, the reader. You are investing your time, money and effort in reading this and going through the exercises. I congratulate you on paying the price to make this happen. I also dedicate this to my nieces and nephews, Heather Dillay, Johnny Dillay, Mary Brock and J.T. Brock. You are loved very much and I hope you don’t have to make as many mistakes as your Uncle Terry did in his life. Yet, with all my mistakes, I’ve had a very good life thus far and look forward to many more years ahead. You have your whole life ahead of you. With Brock blood flowing in your veins, live life with gusto and enthusiasm and become just who and what you want to be! The road to happiness lies in two simple principles: find what it is that interests you and that you can do well, and when you find it, put your whole soul into it---every bit of energy and ambition and natural ability you have. -John D. Rockefeller III -9- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Chapter 1 Living in a Dream World I t is easy to live in a dream world. We’d all like to believe it is real but we know it is not. We even deceive ourselves into believing that magic is real and we can get what we want by wishing, hoping (really, really, really hoping) that it can happen. We use lucky charms, good luck ribbons, lucky rabbit’s feet, horse shoes and all kinds of other stuff to give us an advantage. We hope against hope that something will be real that would be laughable when looked at objectively. You know what I mean. You keep hoping that someday, somehow, someway, this wonderful thing is going to happen to you and then… VOILA! Life will be perfect. Many speakers, singers, musicians and other professionals live so much of their lives just hoping for that one day that someone great is going to see them, discover them singing or performing and then everything will work out just right. Well, I’m sorry to be the messenger with the reality check but things just don’t work that way on this planet. They never have. They don’t work that way now. They never will work that way in the future. Sorry! This is closely tied to “Someday I’ll” thinking that Dennis Waitley described. Many people live their lives thinking “Someday I’ll have that job.” “Someday I’ll get that new car.” “Someday I’ll have the money.” These are many other statements are rampant. They are also dead wrong. -10- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Importance of Goals Don’t confuse this with goals. A goal has been described as a “dream with a deadline.” I think it is also something that has the strategy and plan laid out and the person doing the persistent work to make it happen. The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof. Right now I'm living in that hope, running down its hallway and touching the walls on both sides. - Barbara Kingsolver Being “discovered” takes lots of effort. I forget who said it, but I think there is truth in the saying, “The harder I try, the luckier I get.” Luck has been also said to be an acronym that stands for “Laboring Under Correct Knowledge”. That is where “real magic” takes place. That is when you really get “lucky.” You have to work hard using the right set of principles in the right way. Even laboring by itself is not enough. It has to be done in the right way. I like the definition that Earl Nightingale used for luck. Luck, he would say, is where preparation meets opportunity. That singer that is “discovered” is one that had to practice a lot, over and over. The successful signer or actor is one who studied their craft assiduously and learned. They endured hardship and trials. They kept working to be better. Then they didn’t stop there. There are lots of good musicians out there that just haven’t made it to the big time. What does it take to make it to the “big time?” In today’s world I find that there are two indisputable skills that you have to have to make it. With these, you’ll be able to grasp your dreams and make them reality. Without one or both of them, you will fail miserably. -11- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Two Must-Have Skills For Success The two key skills you have to have are… Unassailable Competence and Persistent Positive Promotion One without the other is only going to produce disappointments. Believing that your key to success is coming from magic is like hoping to win the lottery. Unassailable Competence Competence means that you have the necessary skills for a particular profession. It means you have the ability to make things happen. Recently I had an injury to my knee in my martial arts class. It hurt really bad! I’m not one to rely heavily on medical doctors, but in this case, the pain persuaded me to make an exception! I hurt my knee on a Thursday night and that next day, Friday morning, I was calling to get an appointment to see Dr. Schroeder here in Orlando. Dr. Schroeder was thoroughly competent in his craft as an orthopedic surgeon. He also knew how to communicate with me as a layperson (who was in great pain!). He professionally and carefully helped me to understand what had happened and what was necessary to get it fixed---surgery--- as soon as possible. He even gave me a strong benefit and a big promise. He said that I would be able to use my knee just like before after several weeks. That was what I needed to hear! He did an excellent job on my knee during the surgery. Well, I’m guessing that he did since I was completely under the anesthesia all the time! However, I can tell by the results and the healing that took place that he really did a great job. So, Dr. Schroeder had a great deal of competence. But he also has another thing that helps him to get ahead in his profession: Promotion! -12- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles I learned about him through my martial arts instructor. Apparently, I wasn’t the first person to sustain an injury in martial arts class. Miss Young, one of the instructors in my class, recommended him based on the good work he had done with others. Dr. Schroeder promoted himself by doing a great job. I’m sure he also has promoted through other methods through the years. I could have gone to several orthopedic surgeons in the Orlando area. However, I went based on the recommendation of someone I trusted. Dr. Schroeder had earned that trust of both others and me through consistently working and doing the right things. He didn’t get it through luck or good fortune. He had to go to many years of school. He had to go on for Medical School. Then he had to go on for specialty training in orthopedics. Then, as if all the schooling weren’t enough, he had to put in residency under the careful, watchful eye of other professionals to make sure that he was highly competent. And frankly, I’m very glad the system works the way it does so that good doctors like Dr. Schroeder are there to help us! You also have to have strong competency in your selected area. You develop competency by carefully learning the steps to success in your field. You have to study. You have to work through the hard parts. Going to school is part of this. Whether you choose a formal education or design one on your own, it takes work. I know for me, getting my MBA in marketing was a tough experience. Those 9 quarters I spent getting the degree seemed like 4,000 years! However, in the midst of the “4,000 year experience” I learned more about myself than about calculus, accounting, management, marketing and other important topics. I learned how to push myself to the limit. I learned how to learn. That is a very valuable skill to learn! In today’s world and the world of the future, the most critical skill you can develop is this ability to learn how to learn. I have people ask me all the time in my seminars what subject they should study in school. Really it doesn’t matter. -13- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles As my friend Dan Burrus says, whatever work you’re going to do in the future probably hasn’t been invited yet. But if you can learn how to assimilate new material and make it your own, you’ll do well. Learn how to learn a new software package quickly. Learn how to see through problems and find the solution for people quickly and inexpensively. Learn how to solve problems that others encounter and do it quickly and inexpensively and you’ll have not only a job, but more important, the skills to become as rich as you want. I have friends that don’t have a college degree. In fact, one friend of mine, Randy Gage, is a multi-millionaire who did not finish high school. Randy has an education, though. It comes from years of hard work, lots of reading, lots of seminars, and much more learning. Randy is constantly learning and expanding his mind so he can contribute more value to his customers. I took the easy route with pre-programmed learning and a pre-designed path. Randy took the harder path teaching himself and learning through the school of hard knocks. Whatever path you choose, you have to go to school, either formally or on your own. And remember that school is never out for the professional. It is a continual process. You never stop learning. In today’s world things are changing so rapidly you can’t afford to sit back and rest on your laurels. Persistent, Positive Promotion In addition to the competency you have to have, you must also have the promotion. This is a larger umbrella that encompasses many areas. It is really marketing yourself and your abilities. A very successful way to do that for many personal service professionals is through networking. Knowing others. More important than you knowing them is that others know you. It is very important that the right people know you and think very highly of you. Brian Tracy said in his audiocassette program, Getting Rich in America, ”Your success will largely be determined by the number of people who know you in a positive way.” The more people that think of you favorably, -14- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles the greater your chances of success. The “luckier” you get as you know more people can they think of you in a very positive light. Today we are inundated with technology and machines. This is not bad; it is just the way the world works. The machines and technology help to make our life easier and better. I wouldn’t want to go back to the times of yore when people spent all day doing the daily wash by the river with a washboard! I wouldn’t want to live in a world filled with disease and death like we had before cures for diseases like polio and tuberculosis. "Determination and perseverance move the world; thinking that others will do it for you is a sure way to fail." Marva Collins Yet, in the midst of all that technology we want the people connection. Your customers want a people connection to find true worth. You have to build your own network of people. Your network is one of the most important attributes in your life. You become a better person when you have lots of other people gathered around you that can help you, correct you, and be an extension of your life. I remember growing up in lower Mid-Michigan that my family was very active in our local church. We were there almost every Sunday morning, Sunday evening and even the Wednesday night Bible study. From that association we were able to form a network. Looking back, however, I see that we needed other networks and outside influences that we didn’t and just couldn’t get from being in only one group. Today, my network stretches literally around the world. Through organizations like the National Speakers Association in the U.S., the National Speakers Association of Australia (NSAA) and the Professional Speakers Association of Europe (based just outside London, England), I have extended my network of friends and contacts worldwide. This helps me to see life from many points of view. It allows me to see things that I wouldn’t see otherwise. -15- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Your network is most important. Nurture it. Feed it. Take care of it. Do this even when you don’t feel like it. The rewards and joy you receive will be well worth the time you put into it. You build a network by first contributing. Too many people think that networking is all about giving someone else their business card and then hoping that this newly contacted person will send business their way. This is magical thinking at its worst! I’ve seen many “business networking” functions where people just smile that goofy plastic smile, try to say bland nice things about you and then force their card on you. Balderdash! 1 This stuff doesn’t mean that I would recommend this newly-met person to someone else. Just this past week I went to a business function and talked with a lady about her work. It was the “nice to meet you. What kind of work do you do?” type of conversation. I was thinking I might be able to recommend her for some work until she abruptly gave me her card (with certain information scratched out with a pen and a new e-mail address scratch on it---how unprofessional!). She never asked for my card or demonstrated any degree of concern about what I do. If you asked her today who Terry Brock is, she wouldn’t have a clue. She really didn’t care about me as a person, only about me as someone who might be able to help her. Yet, I have a good recollection of her. I’ll make it a point to avoid her in the future! Approach networking as a way to get to know more people. Don’t think of it as a way to find someone who can just help you. Instead look at it as a way to broaden your experience and learn about more wonderful people. Even if this particular person can’t help you directly in business, you would be wise to know them. They have sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, other relatives, friends and numerous contacts. You want to get to know the person as a person. Focus on how to help them and what they are about. In time you will get more than enough of the good you want coming your way. 1 I like this word, “Balderdash!” It is similar to another expression used too often today. “Balderdash” has more emphasis, stands out from the crowd and can be used in most any social setting! -16- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles I’ve always felt that I can learn a lot from everyone I meet, regardless of who that person is and what they do. The Japanese handle this much better than we Americans do, in my opinion. They want to get to know you before they’ll consider doing business with you. They want to have many different meetings. Getting to know someone there is almost like getting hired for a job. It takes a lot of time to go through the “hiring” process. However, once that bond is there, once you have been “hired” you are in with that person and your success is going to be much greater. The Japanese are slow to establish strong relationships and also slow to let them go. When meeting someone at one of the networking functions, or if you happen to meet someone in another venue, be the first to find out about them. Learn about what they do, where they are coming from and what is of interest to them. Be a good listener. You never know where that lead can take you. I remember a time a few years ago when I was in Germany on my way around the world, headed for a presentation in Hong Kong. I wanted to work out in the hotel gym so I inquired about that at the front desk. They were polite and pointed me in the direction of the health club. I felt great. I worked out on the weights at the health club and had a good time. Then I was ready to head to the men’s locker room for a shower and to head back to my hotel room. I didn’t see it so I asked one of the attendants there where it was and she pointed me to a room that said “Showers.” Well, I went to the door and opened it. As I opened it two beautiful women were coming out. They were following the German spa tradition of being nude! After my initial shock, I said to myself, “WOW! What a country!” Well, being an American, I thought I was in the wrong area but soon found out that in this place, men and women went to the sauna without clothes. It was no big deal for them. Well, I found it most interesting to say the least! -17- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles However, what became even more interesting was a lovely young lady that came in the door a few minutes later and sat next to me. She talked with someone else and I noticed she was not speaking in German but in a language I was studying, Russian. I asked her, in Russian, if she spoke Russian (trying to be polite) and she lit up like a light bulb and said “Da!” which means yes in Russian. Well, we had a wonderful conversation in both English and Russian and both enjoyed our time. I was planning to go to Moscow and stay at the Intourist Hotel when I left Germany. Well, it just happened to turn out that her uncle was the head chef at Intourist Hotel (it really is a small world after all!). So, she offered to call her relatives in Moscow that evening and tell them that I was coming through and asked them to show me around the city. What a treat! You never know where you’re going to be meet interesting people and who they know. All I wanted to do was get a shower and leave to return to my hotel room after I concluded my exercise. However, by being open to possibilities, I got a chance to not only meet this wonderful lady but also her relatives in Moscow. You have to be open to opportunities wherever and whenever you find them. You will never know for sure when a great networking opportunity will come along for you. A friend of mine, Bob Burg, is a master at getting to know people and helping them. He advocates finding out how they make money and who the most likely customers for this person are. Bob says that if you show genuine interest in learning about them and how to help them, you are more likely to get what you want and need. This sounds to me a lot like Zig Ziglar’s admonition to “help enough other people get what they want and you’ll get what you want.” You have to be the first to give real value in the relationship. I hear the same thing from a good friend of mine in Australia, Linda Echentille. She has been featured in many Australian Business magazines, radio shows and recently her business received the prestigious “Service -18- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Business of the Year” award for an outstanding track record and successful business accomplishments. Linda told me she is a member of several organizations where she regularly and actively attends and participates. Her network stretches not only around Australia but also in many other countries. She has accomplished more in a few short years in business than most people do in a lif etime. And what is Linda’s secret? She actively helps others. She is there for them not only being nice and gracious, but she has a huge amount of knowledge in marketing and running a business. This is what is necessary for success today. You need to have gracious, kind people skills and a huge reservoir of knowledge about an area that people consider highly necessary for their own advancement. When you’re meeting someone for the first time, don’t worry about how you can benefit from the relationship. Think about how you can help them. If you can help them, you’re in a much better situation. In the “favors bank” you’ll have made a huge deposit and can ask for a favor in the future. The more you have in the “favor bank” with many, many people, the better off you’ll be when you need assistance yourself. An old Arab saying said that one should “Dig your well before you’re thirsty.” My friend, Harvey Mackay, wrote a book with this title. I highly recommend that book on how to develop your network and get to know many wonderful people on the planet. You really do have to dig your well way before you’re thirsty. Just like you don’t want to go to the bank and ask for a loan when you desperately need money, you don’t want to ask friends for a favor when you need one. You want to have lots of reasons why lots of people will want to help you. This is how you work your own magic. You make your own miracles happen when you are able to demonstrate that you have the competence and skills that are considered important to others. Once you have the skills you also have to have the network. Going back to Dr. Schroeder, he has networked himself in the Central Florida area as a competent professional. He is well known as the person to go to with -19- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles orthopedic problems. He solves orthopedic problems. He has branded himself that way in the minds of many. To be fair, there are times when a wonderful thing will happen out of the blue. Sometimes unexpected good things can happen. But the chances of that happening are so rare and so far between that you would be much better off getting out there and working for it on your own. This is part of the reason why buying a lottery ticket is such a waste of your precious time, money and effort. Many people are hoping that “magic” will happen. They’ve watched too many fairy tales and believe they can get something for nothing. There is a word that I think best describes what magic really is. Foolishness. It is believing that, against the laws of nature, that you can create something from nothing with no effort or work. Trusting in magic is believing in the “elixir” that is unknown to all but a few. The Scientific Method Science has shown us that only by carefully applying certain principles can we derive the truth. These principles are rooted in what is called the Scientific Method. It consists of the following steps: 1. Observation and description of a phenomenon or group of phenomena. 2. Formulation of a hypothesis to explain the phenomena. In physics, the hypothesis often takes the form of a causal mechanism or a mathematical relation. 3. Use of the hypothesis to predict the existence of other phenomena, or to predict quantitatively the results of new observations. 4. Performance of experimental tests of the predictions by several independent experimenters and properly performed experiments. If the experiments bear out the hypothesis it may come to be regarded as a theory or law of nature (more on the concepts of hypothesis, model, theory and law below). If the experiments do not bear out the hypothesis, it must be rejected or modified. What is key in the description of the scientific method just -20- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles given is the predictive power (the ability to get more out of the theory than you put in; see Barrow, 1991) of the hypothesis or theory, as tested by experiment. It is often said in science that theories can never be proved, only disproved. There is always the possibility that a new observation or a new experiment will conflict with a long-standing theory. 2 Many would like to believe their own hypothesis is true without thinking it through. This is simply mental laziness. We have to think. We have to question. This requires real work. After going through the crucible fire of testing and refinement, we then come up with the solution that can hold up under the severest of questions and doubts. I see so many people plunking down $5.00 or $10.00 here and there to get a lottery ticket. They often think that they are going to be the one to win. This is really said. They would be much better off investing that $10.00 in a good book or for the gas to a good library to read and study. Instead of $10.00 a week wasted in the lottery, they could spend that money learning and developing skills that would help to generate even more money for them. Invest in your own personal library, not the lottery! You’ll have much better returns! It takes hard work and lots of smart work to create value on this planet. You have to apply brain and brawn to get the job done. Fortunately today, with the incredible advances in technology we’re seen, you can come pretty close to magic, or at least what some perceived as magic years ago. By hard work and lots of effort, you make progress. That is the way it has been for centuries. It is the way things are going to be in the future. Real “magic” doesn’t exist. Things only happen because we make them happen. I think it is part of the human experience that we want to believe that something great can happen without much effort on our part. This is what drives people to gamble. It is what has built cities like Las Vegas. 2 Frank Wolf on website http://teacher.nsrl.rochester.edu/phy_labs/AppendixE/AppendixE.html referencing the Scientific Method. -21- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Las Vegas Thinking Las Vegas is one of my favorite places in the world. I love to go there for conventions as I often do as a professional speaker. Every time I go I enjoy the excitement in the air, the great restaurants, the great shows, the fun look so many people have when they’re there. But I don’t gamble. Well, not much anyway. I think in the past 5 years I’ve spent about 50 cents total (really!) on the slot machines. I don’t even think about playing poker, baccarat, the roulette wheel or other games. Not that I have a moral problem with them. I feel that people should be able to do anything they want as long as they’re not harming anyone else. However, when I got there I look around the beautiful places and see all the elegance and the charm. Then I begin to question how those great buildings got there. They sure didn’t get there by having the “loosest slots in town” and giving away lots of money to lots of gambling patrons. They are very scientific and business like there. That is just another one of the great things about the city. They know business. They know how to extract the maximum amount of money from their customers in true free market style. Because of what I see, I’m not a good gambling customer in Las Vegas. However, I am a excellent customer for the many hotels and restaurants that I visit. I’m a good customer for the places that have those fabulous shows. I also love eating at the many great restaurants in Las Vegas. But that is usually not a gamble. You know how much it will cost and you know what you’ll get. Most of the time, I’ve found that I get more value in entertainment and sheer fun than it costs me. Some of the best restaurants in the world that I’ve experienced are in Las Vegas. Many people go there with what I call “Las Vegas Thinking.” They think that they are going to be the one to make a fortune through gambling. They think they will be the one that can trick the system. If you believe that, the folks running the casinos would love to see you! Just be sure to bring -22- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles money you don’t need because you won’t have it for long with “Las Vegas Thinking.” This is the type of thinking that goes into buying lottery tickets. It has been said that the lottery is just a tax on stupid people. I think there is a lot of truth to that. However, if you realize it is business, you can do much better. Think of money spent there (for gambling, shows or other expenses) as play money. It really is an adult Disney World. If you really want to spend money on the lottery for the sheer joy that you get from buying a ticket, go for it! Just make sure that whatever you spend is for fun. Don’t buy a lottery ticket or go to Las Vegas and gamble thinking you’ll make enough to pay for the rent or groceries. Some people do that and come away sorely disappointed. Focus for Success “The man who succeeds above his fellows is the one who early in life, clearly discerns his object, and towards that object habitually directs his powers. Even genius itself is but fine observation strengthened by fixity of purpose. Every man who observes vigilantly and resolves steadfastly grows unconsciously into genius.” Edward George Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873) Las Vegas provides enormous benefits as a place to relax, have fun and play. This is the business they are in and they do a great job of it. As long as Las Vegas keeps satisfying millions of people like me, we’ll keep coming back again and again spending our money in exchange for a good time. But you see, “magic” as I’ve defined it here, doesn’t exist, even in Las Vegas. Those that are successful there, as in other places, have had to study, work, learn and press on through tough times. This is what creates value. It is value that drives the world. I love what my friend, Zig Ziglar says it when he says, “You can get anything you want in life, if you help enough other people get what they want.” That’s the secret. And it really is no secret. It certainly isn’t magic. It is a matter of thinking (which is really hard work) about what buyers will be willing, ready and able to pay for. How can you generate more value in their lives? -23- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Once you have that concept it requires diligence and work to sell the idea, the product or the service. You have to peacefully persuade others that what you offer is of value to them. I guess the concept of magic still exists because many people dream of it. When I see the fools (yeah, tough term, but appropriate) wasting their money on a lottery ticket where their chances are almost zero to win, I realize how many people believe in magic. They’ll even say stupid things like, “Well, somebody has got to win.” As if that justified their thinking. Yeah, somebody is going to win (maybe, but often it doesn’t happen) in many cases. But that argument misses the big point---YOU are probably not going to win. Therefore YOU are wasting your money. You are wasting your time. You are wasting your effort. And don’t forget that in all that waste, you are wasting your life! This is the biggest crime of all. Instead of wasting that money on a lottery ticket, take that money and invest it in something that will increase your skills. Increase your mind or body in a way that is healthy and benefits you in the long run. This is a much better way to live and to succeed. You might not be able to find magic, but you can make your own miracles by learning what buyers want and are willing to pay for. Then work both smart and hard (yes, both are needed today!) to learn what works in your selected line of business. It is the continual efforts that you expend towards helping others find their desires, wants and needs that will assure you of getting “real magic” in your life. -24- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Chapter 2 Identifying What You Really Want What do you want to be when you grow up? I mean, really, what is it that you want to do with you life and the time you have left on the planet? You know you don’t have forever. I remember when I was in my 20s that I thought I had lots of time. I felt, and still feel today, that I can live into triple digits and even up to age 120. Many say that this is possible and it is my goal. However, we have to also realize that at any moment life can take a sudden turn and result in a change of events. We witnessed this so vividly and tragically on Tuesday, September 11, 2001 when terrorists hijacked airplanes and then crashed them into the World Trade Center Towers, the Pentagon and into a previously little-known field in Pennsylvania. At that moment all of our lives paused. We were all busy doing “our thing.” We were busy living our lives and doing our normal, daily events. However, that moment changed our lives forever. Everyone that was alive on that day knew that it was one of those events in time that signaled a clear departure from the way things were before and the way they will be in the future. I remember I was in Aspen, Colorado when it happened. We all will have the memory seared into our minds of where we were that day. I had arrived a day early for a conference where I was speaking to several Presidents and CEOs of major hospitals around the US. I was there to speak to these decision makers about technology and how to use the Internet more effectively. As I came down early to see people, talk with the meeting planners and get a feel of what was happening, I was curious as to why the television was playing. Then I saw the burning WTC towers. -25- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles I felt, like many others, that it was an accident with a small plane veering off course and accidentally hitting the tower. I realized the horror of what had happened as the events unfolded that day and we all learned more. The world changed on that day forever. We have not yet seen the full ramifications of what will happen to our world as a result of those events on that September day in New York. This is a book about you finding what your purpose is and getting it in life. It is about depending on yourself and not “magic.” You’ll notice all the way through that I, acting as your coach, will state that we have to make what we want to happen, happen. There is no other way. Some want to shy away from the real hard diligent work that is required to succeed in life. They claim it creates too much stress. Well, a truly stressfree existence is only achieved in death. Sorry. That’s the way it works. Stress is a part of life and exists. That doesn’t mean you have to let stress overwhelm you. You can take control and rule over that. I find that quiet meditation and rest help to overcome the normal stress that we all encounter. Sure, stress is going to be a part of life. However, it doesn’t have to be a dominating factor. You can control stress by relaxing more, realizing that we continually learn and grow and working hard while resting internally. This control of stress is critical for living life successfully. We’ve all learned a lot about that since September 11, 2001. In light of the events of September 11, 2001, we all realize more than ever how precarious life really is. Nothing is guaranteed except death and taxes as Benjamin Franklin told us. So what do you want to do with your life? What is it that makes you want to live? What are the real joys in life for you that make you want to keep going, living, doing what is necessary and making a life? You have to decide what “flips your cookies” in life. What is right for you, is not what is appropriate for others. -26- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles I remember when I was a child that my father once talked about a friend named Bobby Long. Bobby was a pilot and had a job where he flew an executive around the country. My father talked with awe about Bobby and how he was able to travel around to many different places. Somehow in that moment, I could see the longing in my father’s eyes to travel and see the world. This was something that was not usually available for a man working in the union factories of Michigan in the 1960’s. His lot in life, as he chose it, was to have a steady job, make a regular paycheck and not travel. Yet, I could tell that he longed, even ached, to travel and see the world. During vacations and holidays, Dad would take us around the U.S.A. in whatever station wagon they had at the time (we usually had station wagons so we could sit in the back seat and complain about my sister or brother crossing to “my side of the seat.” I guess it was just part of the American experience in the 60’s). It was that thought, traveling around to different places, which sparked a desire in me to think about traveling more and seeing the world. I was born in the Midwest in America in the Mid 20th Century. I had nothing to do with that. However, I can and have chosen to live my life by clearly defining what I want to do with my life and making it happen. Today I live the life of my dreams. I travel where I want and usually when I want. I get to meet wonderful people all over the planet. This is what I have wanted for my life and you can get what you want for your life. You just have to plan for it and, in the words of Jean-Luc Picard of Star Trek fame, you have to “Make it so.” You have to make it so in your life the way you want it to be. We’re all handed our lot in life. You can’t choose when or where you are born. You usually cannot choose the way you are raised. However, if you are reading this book, you have the intelligence and the ability to chose what you’re going to do with your life from this moment forward. -27- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles You might have been born into terrible circumstance. You might have been abused physically or mentally. You probably had some sort of problem or you wouldn’t be human (or at least not from this planet!). Hey, welcome to my planet! That is the way things work here. You have to take the cards you’re dealt and make something of them. Every person I know has something that is wrong with life. It is how we deal with that wrong dealt to us that makes the difference. My friend, Art Berg I think of my buddy Art Berg. Art was an Eagle Scout and a very intelligent young man who had a promising future. He was riding with a friend one day on I-15 from Las Vegas back to his home near Salt Lake City. He drifted off to sleep as his friend was driving the car that night on a dark road. At one point on the road, for some unknown reason, his friend drifted off for just a moment. In that moment, Art’s life was changed forever. There was a terrible accident and Art was injured. He was injured badly. In fact, at that moment Art Berg became a quadriplegic. The rest of his life was changed. He had had so much promise. Now it looked like it was all over. However, Art Berg was not a quitter. As he often said, “The impossible just takes a little longer.” Art was willing to put in the pain and agony of recovery. He learned how to adapt to his new wheelchair environment. He was able to get use of his arms, even though the doctors said he would not be able to do that. Art never gave up until he mastered that wheelchair and learned to live life fully. He went on to become a professional speaker. I had the honor of serving with him on the Board of Directors of the National Speakers Association after nominating him. It took Art three times being nominated before he was elected. I remember him saying that he would have kept on trying even if it didn’t happen after three tries. This ole “third time’s a charm” stuff didn’t mean -28- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles anything to Eagle Scout Art Berg. He was going to keep trying and trying until he made it. I remember times when Art and his wife Dallas would come to Orlando for meetings and his speaking. I joined them at Disney World and we had a great time talking about technology (Art and I shared a real love of the latest and best in technology!), life, the speaking business and more. Art never let being in a wheelchair hold him back from living life to the fullest. In 2001 Art worked with the NFL Baltimore Ravens helping coach and inspire them. When they went to and won the Super Bowl Art was with them. When they received Super Bowl rings, Art received one himself for his work with and for being part of the team. Later on, I was proud to vote for Art to be Vice President of the National Speakers Association. It was good to see him elected that day. He had only been on the NSA board for 2 years. Normally someone is on there at least 3 years and often longer, before being given the opportunity to run for office. However, we all agreed that Art was thoroughly qualified. He never let a little thing like being a quadriplegic hold him back! Not Art Berg! February 19, 2002 Art Berg left us. It was a very sad day for many of us in the National Speakers Association. He died suddenly from complications with medicine. When I got the news that Art had left us I was very saddened. He left behind his lovely wife Dallas and three beautiful children. As I’m writing this book, I jumped over to www.artberg.com thinking about my friend and feeling the tears welling up in my eyes. He still has a website up, now as a memorial to his life and the many that he touched. I am particularly honored that of all the members of the National Speakers Association he had one listing of any member. That listing was for my site and me. Art had this listing on his website about me: www.terrybrock.com A friend of mine and another professional speaker. He is a technology guru who knows how to speak in real English. He also has some great articles. -29- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles WOW! Thank you, Art! Art is still with us today. He is with us because he lived his life to the fullest and provided us abundant examples over and over how to keep going no matter what happens. I still sense him helping me and prodding me along as I encounter difficulties and challenges. I think, “Hey, if Art can make it through what he encountered, I can make it through this.” That is the way to leave a legacy. Leave your thoughts and ideas with people so that they remember you and their life is better because of you. This Adventure Called Life Life is an adventure. It is not going to last forever. We forget that in the midst of all we’re doing. We forget the importance of living life as we choose in the midst of the hustle and bustle. As Art Berg lived his short 39 years and touched literally thousands and thousands of lives so positively, you have to decide how you’re going to live your life. You have to decide what you’re living it for and why. It has to be a purpose beyond just making money. It has to be beyond just living to pay bills. Only you can answer the question but it must be answered proactively or life will just slip by. This is your life. This is not a test. This is the real thing. You have only a short time on the planet, even if you live to be 150! I’ve often thought that life is like a tape recorder. Remember those old audiocassette recorders (before CDs and MP3 players)? Life is like a tape recorder that has play and stop. That’s it. There is no fast-forward to “peek into the future” and see what is going to happen. There is no rewind to “do that one over again.” Once you have done something you can’t “take it back.” This is particularly poignant when you say things to others. They might forgive harsh or cruel words but we seldom forget. Remember to always be kind and in the heat of the moment, catch yourself to say only those things that are helpful and never hurtful. -30- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles What do you want to make of your life? What are you willing to do to make it happen? These are the questions that we all have to address. At the end of this chapter I’m giving you a homework assignment. You get to complete some forms and figure out just what you want to do and how you’re going to go about achieving it. It is easy to just slough it off and go on without completing the forms. However, as your coach, I’m here to encourage you in my best Marine Drill Sergeant voice, “Complete that exercise.” Don’t pass up the opportunity to become the best you can be. You Have the Right To Change Your Mind Here’s the good news. Whatever you decide, you can change your mind! Sometimes we hold off making the decision because we think that we can’t make a decision until we have all the facts. Balderdash! You can make a decision based on what you know now and then change it later. You are not locked into only one thing to do. In fact, it is healthy and wise to reevaluate your decisions and change your mind when you have new data. Just don’t make it a habit and change too often or you won’t get much accomplished. This is part of what I call, “Smart Persistence.” “SmartPersistence”™ 3 is a term I created to signify the type of determination that you have to have to succeed. Merely being persistent is nice, but if you’re persistent doing the wrong things, you’ll only suffer over and over. You have to try something, find what works; adjust and modify based on new feedback and go at it again and again. This is the key to success. Being smart in your persistence means that you have that dogged determination to never give up, but you can change tactics and strategies to achieve your overall, long-term goal. 3 You can get more information on the concept of “SmartPersistence™” by going to the website www.smartpersistence.comand checking out articles and other information. -31- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles When I was in undergraduate school, I remember someone sharing about going through some decisions she had to make. She was wondering what major to select. She had chosen one field but after a year of studying that, she soon realized it was not for her and she really would be happiest doing something else. Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit. (Napoleon Hill) What stuck with me was what she said that it was like walking down a corridor. Even though she didn’t continue walking down the corridor and took a side door, she would have never encountered that side door if she hadn’t been walking down the corridor! Unless you take the risk and venture out to find what is available you’ll never be able to make progress. It is much like trying to steer a car that is not moving. You can have the best engine, power steering and more, but if you don’t put it in gear and move forward, you’re not going anywhere. Start moving. The sheer act of moving and making progress positions you to be in a better place for making positive changes later. Your Life Goals List OK, here is where the fun begins. You have an exercise to complete. In fact, this is probably one of the most important exercises you’ll ever complete in your life. It is fun so get ready to enjoy! Your assignment is to make your own, customized, personalized “Life Goals List.” This is a list of all the things---everything (!) that you want to do in life for the rest of your life. Hold nothing back on this one. Go for it with all the wild imagination and enthusiasm that you can muster. I want you to make a list of all those things that you want to do and don’t worry about putting them in order. We can address that later. Right now, this is a brain dump. Here are some examples of real Life Goals Lists others have created: -32- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? I want to climb Mt. Everest. I want to water ski I want to fish in Lake Superior I want to visit Japan I want to shake the President’s hand I want to visit London I want to try Moroccan food I want to go to next year’s Greek Festival in town You get the idea. It is filled with lots of things that you want to do. Some of them you might have already done and that’s all right to list them too. Don’t hold anything back. Later on we’ll go back and run them through the “reality checker” so you know what is likely and what is not likely to happen. This list will be on-going so don’t worry about putting everything down right now. Some items will be fulfilled quickly. As you do them you can date them for the date you completed the goal. If you put something down like “I want to go to Mars” that is not possible at this time of this writing. However, it might be possible later, so write it down. Who knows what our technology will be in a few years? But the most important part is that you wrote it down (OK, you typed it if you’re using a word processor, smart alec!). Let’s say you do put down something like “I want to go to Mars” and its not possible now. Just the fact that you put it down and can see it later helps in two specific ways: 1) You can see it in your journal years from now to remember it if it ever does become possible, and 2) Even if it doesn’t happen it gets you thinking about what you really want to do. You could find substitute ways to address it. For instance, instead of going to Mars, you could study the Red Planet. You could think about becoming an astronaut now to do other space adventures later. You could become an airplane pilot to experience flying. There are many more possibilities for you, but you’ll never know what it is you really want until you commit it to paper. Use your word processor or even paper, but something really powerful happens when you commit it to paper. -33- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles So, stop reading now, get a pad of paper and pen, or fire up your word processor and make that list. You can use the form on the next page as an example. Notice the importance of Date Listed and Date Completed. These are critical to making your dreams reality. -34- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles My Life Goals Date Date Listed Completed Note that your actual list could take several pages. It will be a living document so it will be updated, changed and fulfilled regularly in your adventure through life. It is not unusual to have a list of 100 or more items. There is no limit on this. You will add and delete later. For now, just put as many of the goals and things you’d like to do in life as you can think of on the list. Have fun and begin now. Prioritizing Your Goals Now that you have your goals you are well on your way. Make sure you have those listed and recorded. This is a bedrock principle for everything we’ll do in the rest of this book. After you have the list, in no particular order, you get to prioritize them. In the great book, Do It by John Rogers and Peter McWilliams, they say, “You can do anything. You just can’t do everything.” How true. You can accomplish a great deal in life. There are many things you can do. However, because we are human beings, we run into a concept called the Opportunity Cost. It is an immutable law of Nature. -35- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles I learned this in my Econ 101 class. What it means is that whatever activity you select, you have to turn down many others that you aren’t going to do. For instance, if you decide to go fishing one Sunday afternoon, that necessarily means that you can’t ride a bike, take a long trip or go to a movie. You could shorten the amount of time spent fishing in order to try to accomplish the other things. However, you can only do one activity at a time. And if you rush through trying to do all of them you probably won’t be able to enjoy any of them. Resource allocation was another concept that I learned in Econ 101. In business school we learned about allocation of resources, particularly money. You only have so much to go around. By spending money on one area, you are taking money away from another area. In business it is critical that you devote sufficient resources to an activity, like, say, advertising, to accomplish a goal. Too little spent would be a waste and not serve the ultimate purpose. Your ultimate resource is time. How you choose to spend each precious moment of life is your most important decision. That is why we start with the life goals list that you just completed. Now that you have it listed with all kinds of things in no specific order, your next assignment is to prioritize them. We’re not talking about a single place for each item in a ranking order (1-100, for instance for those 100 items you might have). A Goals A better method I’ve found is to rank an activity as an A, B, C, or D priority. The A priorities are those that you really, really must do. They are the things that matter most to you. For a junior in college, this could be something like, “Graduate with my Bachelor’s degree by next June.” If visiting Japan is very important to you, this would be an A goal. B Goals The B goals are those that you would like to do but they are not as pressing. This might be something like graduating with a 3.9 or higher grade point average. You can still graduate with 3.5 but if you have the chance for a 3.9, go for it! -36- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles C Goals A C goal would be nice, but it could take a bit longer. If it requires more money and resources than you have now, it might have to be delayed for a while. That doesn’t mean it won’t get accomplished. It just means that you might have to wait a while before you manifest it in your life. D Goals The D goals will be for those somewhat silly, but nice, goals you put down (and I know you put a few of those down!). These are the goals that, if they really didn’t happen, are not a big deal. They would be nice to have or do but you won’t be crushed if they don’t make it. Your job is two-fold. The first job, which is more pressing, is to assign each goal you wrote down before a rank of A, B, C, or D. Remember there are no right or wrong answers here. This is something that you choose and do for yourself. Only your eyes and those that you want to share it with will see this list. Your second job is to focus on the A goals and put a date to them. Figure out by what date you can realistically achieve each of these goals. The rest of this book will address some of the specific steps you can take to make those goals reality. Your Personal Pleasure List Here’s another fun one for you! On this list, you list those things that bring you pleasure and enjoyment. These are things that are more attainable in life. Generally they are things that matter to you that make you happy. Sometim es they will be goals that are “within sight, but out of reach.” These give you the ability to stretch. They are doable, but it takes some effort. Others would be easily done and you’ll do them often. Some of these personal pleasure goals might look like this: -37- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? I like to eat sushi I like to swim I like to eat chocolate I like to run I like to stay home and watch movies Notice the difference between this list and your Life Goals List. This is a list of things that start with “I like…” while the others are things that you want to do. This personal pleasure list helps you to understand what it is that you personally enjoy. When others are demanding that you do something you don’t want to do, you should go through a process of thinking and conceptualizing. Ask yourself if what they are proposing is something you might like. When you were born you didn’t know anything about any of life’s possibilities. Your parents or guardians had to sometimes force you to try new things that you ultimately liked. A good rule of thumb in life is to try anything that is safe and secure at least once. Of course, you don’t do anything foolish or life-threatening. Jumping out of a 35 story building would not be wise – at least not without a parachute. If you don’t like it after at least trying it--- no problem. However if you don’t at least try it, you can’t know for sure if you are turning down something that could be very good. Force yourself to experiment. Now that you’re an adult you have to become your own parent and make yourself do things you might not want to do. Remember they have to be safe and secure so don’t go jumping out of any tall buildings just to “try it.” Here is a model you can use to design your own personal pleasure list. My Personal Pleasure List -38- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Note that your personal pleasure list doesn’t have the dates listed. That is because you’ll probably do them many times. This is for acknowledgement and understanding of what you like. This way, you’ll never be bored because you’ll always have a list of things you like to do and can go back to that whenever you want. Pretty cool, huh? Age Doesn’t Matter Congratulations! By completing your Life Goals and your Personal Pleasure List, you have accomplished a major step for life. The beauty of a task like this is that you can, and should do it at any age. It is a living document that will help you to see what you have done in life and how to live your life in your way to the fullest. Whatever age you happen to be you’ll have various goals and ambitions. These should be recorded for you and available in your personal, private journal. A Note on Your Personal Journal This is one of the best learning tools you’ll have in life. You will want to have a personal journal that captures your thoughts, feelings and ideas. I use my computer and word processor to record my thoughts. When I have very jubilant and happy times I write them into the journal. If I have some times that are really sad and down, I make sure that those are written into my journal. -39- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles This creates a learning laboratory for me. I am able to go back through the years and see how I felt at certain points in my life. I’m able to understand why I thought what I thought. I’m able to see how I felt in the midst of a crisis when I didn’t know which way to go. With the perspective of time, I now know how things worked out. So, when I go through another problem I’ll remember that I solved that one before (as recorded in my journal) and I have the confidence to handle whatever is thrown at me this time. Another way I’ve been chronicling my life is through technology. Today it is easy and inexpensive to purchase small camcorders and carry them with you. I have a very small camcorder that I’ve used for quite a while. It is lightweight enough so that I can carry it most anywhere I go. I often use this to record my ideas, my surroundings and what is happening with my life. I have created a Video Life Journal of things that are important to me and what matters. This is a way to chronicle life and all the wonderful people that you encounter. Since carrying a camcorder is not unusual today, consider this approach to record and value your life. You’ll appreciate the fact that you took the effort to chronicle it years from now. It will also build your confidence to handle whatever is coming your way in the future. That feeling of confidence helps me to get through any problem that might be confronting me at the time. Think about purchasing one of the very small, inexpensive camcorders that are on the market today, if you don’t have one already. You can use this to record the important events of your life, the important people in your life and more. Use Your Personal Goals To Direct Your Life One of the major benefits of completing your exercise on personal goals is to give you a guideline and filter for living life. If you know what you really want to do, you’ll be able to live your life focusing on those things that are most important to you. Otherwise, you can easily be sidetracked. I know that is true for me. -40- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles I have an insatiable thirst for knowledge and learning. I love going to the library and browsing through the books. I lust for bookstores! I love seeing all the books, magazines and audio learning that is available. Then when it comes to the Internet I’m just ecstatic! I can read forever and not worry about “reading it all up.” There is always something new. However, that creates a problem. I can’t do it all. I remember it was a sad day for me, as a child, when I realized that not matter how fast I learned to read, that I wouldn’t be able to read all the books in our local library. I wouldn’t even be able to read all the books in a couple of sections because they changed so fast. The key word here is FOCUS. There are lots of B, B- and C+ opportunities out there. They are not bad. In fact, what is a C- activity for you could be an A+ activity for others. Your biggest job in this adventure called life is to decide what is an A+ activity for you and do those. Leave the B and Bactivities to someone else. This is why completing the Life Goals list is so important. You have to decide what is right for you and only you can do that. Stephen Covey talks about the four quadrants of life in his work, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. It is a book that has continued on the best-seller chart for several years for good reasons. It is powerful. One of the most important admonitions he makes about managing your life is to focus on those things that are important but not urgent. We are constantly swamped with the urgent and imperative activities. However, we can’t remain there and must quickly move from the urgent to the important category. I recently dealt with a client who seemed to be quite confused. Every time I would talk with her she would complain about how things were “just crazy” at her work. She was always so busy. It is understandable to run into occasional times of craziness. Hey, that’s the way things work on this planet. However, to live in that state continually is not healthy or productive. -41- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles I think many people use this expression to try to justify why they didn’t do some other activity. The unspoken words go something like, “I would have called you but we have been just crazy here lately.” The problem is that “lately” happens all the time. When you see this type of behavior regularly it indicates that something is awry with this person. This is a person whose life is way out of balance. It is not an optimal situation for living life to the fullest. I remember a sign I once saw in a client’s office that said, “Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on my part.” I liked that. Just because someone else didn’t plan well doesn’t mean that I have to ruin my life and go into a “hissy fit,” as my grandmother used to say. I can’t speak for others, but I’ve found that in life when I’m feeling peaceful and calm then I know that I’m doing the right thing. I can be peaceful inside even if things are busy outside. Note that there is a difference between busy and crazy. Running, swimming, cycling and exercising can keep you busy. However, you don’t have to become crazy in these activities. It is up to you to choose how you’re going to live. For me, I choose peace and calm. According to medical science, those that are more peaceful and relaxed live longer than the hectic, crazy-life people. Keep things in perspective and live your life balanced in your view. You decide what is right for you. You decide what are your priorities and then stick to them as long as they serve you. If you find that you need to adjust later, make that decision in light of new evidence and new information. As a general rule of thumb, I’ve found making decisions is easier in life when I run it by what I call “the Peace Test.” When I have to make a decision, how peaceful do I feel with that decision? How comfortable am I when I’ve made the decision to do a particular activity? Do I sense peace in that activity or event? Do I feel confusion? Years ago I remember Pat Robertson saying something that has stuck with me a long time. He said that when he has to make a decision he needs to -42- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles take time off and step back from the situation. If an answer has to be given immediately, the answer would be no. However, if he has time to think about the decision, it could be a yes. Gauge your activities by the peace that you feel when you make the decision. Summary This chapter has helped you to establish the goals that are most important in your life. You have listed those goals that you are reaching for and can attain someday. Later, these were ranked with an A, B, C, or D goal. This is one of the most important things you can do in your life. You have to know what goals are important to you and have them clearly written down. It helps to avoid distractions. It serves as a guide as decisions must be made throughout life. You have also made a list of those things that are pleasurable for you. These are the little things in life that make it all worthwhile. Often the simple things that cost the least are the most important. Finally, we saw that being at peace and comfortable with life is paramount. You can choose the life you want to live. It is up to you. By having certain guidelines you’ll know what to do as you filter all choices presented to you through your own personal life goals. In our next chapter, we’ll look at what is required for you to get those things that you want to get. This is where we start making it happen. -43- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Chapter 3 Determining What is Necessary To Get What You Want C ongratulations! You have now listed the goals that you want and have an idea in mind of what is right for you. No one can tell you exactly what is the best for you. Others can provide input and ideas, but no one but you can make the decisions for your life. What is a “Miracle?” When I say you can make your own miracles in life, I mean it. You are the one that can create the seemingly impossible come true for you in your life. Of course, you can’t do it alone. You have to get the assistance from others that you’ll need. That assistance will come in the form of skills, mentoring, motivation and direction. But, you are the one who has to reach inside you and touch that part of you that brings out the best in you. The dictionary describes a miracle as: 4 1. An event that appears inexplicable by the laws of nature and so is held to be supernatural in origin or an act of God: “Miracles are spontaneous, they cannot be summoned, but come of themselves” (Katherine Anne Porter). 2. One that excites admiring awe. See Synonyms at wonder. 3. A miracle play. Well, I guess that means that you have to become that person that “excites” and has “admiring awe.” As you have the enthusiasm within you and can come up with the courage, you can work your own miracles. 4 From www.dictionary.com. This is a great resource on the Net and one that should be bookmarked on your Internet browser. -44- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles OK, you might ask, then how do you do that? Good question. Is just thinking about it and citing a bunch of motivational pep talks going to allow you to create the miracle you need? Anyone that has been on the planet more than a few days knows that we have acquired specific characteristics and skills. There are combinations of factors that are needed to make it in today’s world. Together in this chapter, we’ll explore those and see what is required to make these things manifest themselves in your life. Skills This is the first tool that will be necessary for you to achieve the goals you want. People only pay others for something that is of value to them. They might smile at you. They might even be nice (yes, this does happen occasionally!). Most of the time, though, you have to have something of value you can offer them that will be useful to them. This is where skills come into play. I appreciate my doctor. In Chapter 1 I discussed my recent knee surgery. This surgery had to happen because I had an injury in my martial arts class. My knee was torn apart (or it felt that way). When I went to see the doctor who was recommended to me, Dr. Schroeder, he said I would have to have surgery. When I was in the doctor’s office, his staff was kind and professional. He was kind and professional. I was glad they treated me right. However, I was even gladder that he had the skills to solve the pain that I was undergoing. The skills you develop will help you to gain what you need in today’s world. If you want to get more in life, you have to increase your skills. The greater your skills, the more likely you are to get what you want. So how can you acquire more skills? There are several ways to do that and the successful person today avails herself of these wherever possible. -45- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles One area of skill acquisition is through college or by attending a university. This is a great way to add new skills. Make sure that you get something that is of value in the marketplace. Some people will go through four or five years of college only to get a degree that is not considered worth much in the marketplace. I remember when I was in the MBA program that I talked with a guy who had an undergrad degree in History. I love studying history. I find that we can learn a lot by understanding what our ancestors did both right and wrong. As George Santayana said, “Those who do not study history are condemned to repeat its mistakes.” Yet, the guy I was talking to was lamenting the fact that employers weren’t hiring History majors. He claimed they didn’t “see the value” in having someone on the payroll who knows about the wisdom from the past. Well, I hope that this guy was able to grasp a spoonful of reality along the way. Employers only pay for something that is of value to them so they can increase their own profits. This is the way the world works. It is not good or bad. It just is an is! This History major would be better off taking what he knows and translating that into valuable resources for the potential employer. Rather than deriding the employer for not hiring History majors, he would be better off talking about how history majors have studied the problems from the past and can see how to avoid them. History majors can relate to his customers and increase the potential employer’s bottom line because they understand people better than others who do not have a sense of why we are where we are today. In other words, always see things from the other guy’s point of view. Take your skills and show how they can benefit that potential employer or potential customer (which is really what an employer is in today’s world). A potential employer or potential customer doesn’t care about the features that you or your product have. They only care about what is in it for them. It’s the old saying that everyone’s favorite radio station is WII-FM, What’s In It For Me? If you can answer what is in it for them with every feature you present, you’ll get better job offers, close more sales and get along a whole lot better in life. In sum, you’ll be able to make your own magic by helping others meet their needs. -46- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Think about it, when you go to the grocery store, you don’t buy some apples or cereal thinking of how you can help the employees at the apple orchard or the farm that grows corn, or the paper company that provides the packaging for cereal. Frankly, in most cases, none of that enters your mind. You buy the products at the grocery store based on a few factors: 1) Your need or desire for the product, 2) The quality of the product, 3) The price of the product, 4) The overall value that you will receive because you have purchased that product. You are only focused on what is in it for you. That is not good or bad. It just is an is. I love the way Economist Walter Williams expresses this. He says, Do you think that ranchers in Texas take care of those cows, go through cold winters, endure blazing heat in the summer and smell cow droppings just so they can bring tasty morsels of steak to New Yorkers? Do they do all that thinking, “Well, we just want those nice people in New York to have a good steak, so we’ll endure all this?” Williams goes on to say, Do you think the auto workers in Detroit are thinking of Hollywood elites when they sweat and lift heavy machinery building cars. Are they thinking of how to help beautiful people in Hollywood? I don’t think so. Williams is right. The only reason the ranchers in Texas endure the pain they go through with raising cows and sending them to market is so that they can be paid for their labors. They probably don’t even think about the people that are going to eat the steaks. What they do think about is their own needs. Just like the people in New York munching on delicious steaks probably don’t think about the ranchers and cowboys in Texas that had to endure pain and suffering to put a nice juicy steak on the dinner table in a New York restaurant. Everyone is focused on their own individual needs. This doesn’t mean that the world is a bad place. It is just the way things work. To complain about this is as relevant as complaining that you’d fall down if you jump off the top of a mountain. It is just the way things work. -47- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles True success comes in any field, when you develop skills and abilities to meet the needs of others in a way that is unique, is reasonably priced and satisfies the end buyer. Unfortunately this concept is not taught in schools enough. Many people come out of the government schools with a mentality that someone owes them a living. Balderdash! As the ole’ boy said on the street, “Nobody owes you nothing!” Bad English but good advice. You have to look out for yourself by looking out for the benefit of the other person. This is the way the free market works. In fact, it is the way things always work. People only do certain activities because they know they will find happiness and pleasure in it. The Free Enterprise System has always known this and addressed it. Communism tried to ignore it and failed miserably. This is the way life works. The sooner we can understand that principle in life, the better off we’ll be. No one owes you anything. No one owes you money. No one even owes you the nicety of being nice to you. I remember Harry Browne talking about this concept in an audio that I heard him deliver on the Internet. Harry Browne was the Libertarian Party candidate for President of the United States in 1996 and 2000. Harry said it was such a freeing feeling when he came to the realization that everything that happened to him in life was up to him. He had to create value for others in order to get his own needs met. This is in sharp contrast to what I see in much of the world today. Not only in the United States, but in Europe and some parts of Asia, there seems to be a whole class of people that feel that someone owes them a living. They feel, rightly or wrongly that they have been mistreated and therefore, the world owes them something. They feel that something was done improperly to their ancestors and therefore the world owes them something. Well, I’ve got news for you: The world flat out doesn’t care about you, your grand daddy or his daddy or anyone before him. The -48- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles only thing the world cares about now and will ever care about in the future is what you can do for them. This is a truth that is undeniable. The sooner we, as human beings, figure out ways to enhance the lives of others the sooner we’ll be able to get what we need. Acquiring skills that can be useful to others insures that you’ll have a better job. The more difficult the skill and the harder it is for others to do, the more you can be paid for it. I remember listening to Earl Nightingale comment a while back that your payment for any given job will always be based on three important principles: 1. Your ability to perform a particular job. 2. The demand for your skills on that job. 3. The ease with which you can be replaced. These three points should be burned into your mind as you look at acquiring new skills and facing the job market anywhere at anytime. It has nothing to do with the worth of a person as a person. The janitor in a Fortune 100 company is worth just as much as a human being as the CEO of that company. However, when it comes to money, things are different. The janitor will not be paid as much as the CEO because what the janitor does is not as valuable in terms of money. We can argue all day about what is morally “right” or morally “wrong” but the fact remains that this is how the world works. The skills that the janitor has are important. They are necessary. However, we have to see how important they are to the world and how easily that janitor can be replaced. Sometimes, well meaning individuals will write laws that try to revoke this inevitable law of human nature. They try to pay the top person less and the bottom person more. They want “equality” (a bizarre term that doesn’t fit with the reality of Nature). -49- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles The concept of “fair” is something that is thrown around a lot. As my buddy Bruce Wilkinson says, “Fair is an event that comes to town once a year and has a merry-go-round. This ain’t it!” The concept of “fair” is so relative and squishy that it doesn’t even belong in the vocabulary of a successful achiever. Don’t worry about the world being “fair” to you. It will not be. Accept it. Deal with it. Now get on with life and provide enormous value to others realizing that this is the only way you’ll get what you want. Organizations often try to adjust pay scales so things are more “fair.” In essence they are trying to violate the laws of human nature. So, what happens when they raise the pay of the lower ranks, cutting the pay for the top performers? Well, more people gravitate towards the bottom positions. More people will want to be janitors rather than face the pressures and demands of the CEO job. Less people will want the CEO job and all the pressure and hassle it has. Why go through all that hassle when you’re not going to be compensated for it? This is one of the big problems with socialized medicine. Doctors are prohibited from charging more so they leave the profession. When it costs them much more than it is worth, they leave. When they leave, many are severely inconvenienced or worse. It takes time to create a brain surgeon, for instance. Those considering going into medical practice look at the hassles and the pay and make a determination regarding the worth of entering the profession. I think that Ludwig von Misses discusses this very well in his classic work, Human Action. It is a rather lengthy tome written back in the 1940s. He discusses a concept he called, Praxeology or Human Action. Praxeology is his word to describe how everything we do relates to economics. Economics is about how human beings interact with each other. It goes way beyond simple monetary exchange and relates to human behavior. -50- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles The field of economics is recognizing the concept of behavioral economics. In fact, the Nobel prizes awarded for Economics in 2002 went to both an Economist, Vernon Smith and a Psychologist Daniel Kahneman. Economists are focusing on real human behavior, not just theories and dry concepts. The practical way to benefit from this is to learn about how people really act, not just what they say. You have to constantly be on look out. Try to see what is not shown. Read between the lines. Understand what people are really saying, not just what words they are using. If you look at all actions that take place in life and try to think through the consequences you begin to see the connection. For instance, if a politician says, “We have to raise taxes in order to pay for this care needed for the poor,” many people will feel good about that and vote for that politician. What they don’t think about is what is involved with that. First, where are they going to get the money? They are going to have to take it from those that are productive and working. This creates a disincentive for people to work and produce. Therefore there is less money available for other things. However, a much worse condition also is created by this new social program and new tax. It creates a dependent class that feels they are owed something by the rest of society. They have learned that all they have to do is go to their politician and demand certain goodies and they get them. The politician knows that he can count on that group voting, en mass, for the new program. It has been wisely said before that if you rob Peter to pay Paul you can always count on Paul’s support. This is how most politics works. A politician will persuade a large enough group to elect him to office. Then to pay back that group, he extracts money from another group (all through the force of government and threat of confiscation or imprisonment from the “money extractees”). If the group receiving the benefits is larger than the group from which money is extracted, the politician can stay in office and claim “it is the will of the people.” -51- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Balderdash! This serious problem arises because many people see a certain group getting “government goodies” and they think that their group can make a case to get such “government goodies.” For a small amount of dollars, a thriving economy can still keep going. However, what has happened in the United States and much of the rest of the world is that the burden of funding the “government goodies” for so many groups has destroyed incentives and created masses of people that feel someone else owes them a living. It all starts with specious thinking. Going back to our example of the CEO and the janitor and pay scales, it just doesn’t seem “right” that one person would get more money than another. The truth of the matter is that it is relatively easy to replace the skills needed by the janitor. However, the skills needed by a CEO to run the operation and make it profitable are more complex. That CEO cannot be replaced as easily. And in the free market, if the CEO is not performing as well as someone else could, that company has the right and the obligation to replace that CEO with another. This is how the market functions and it is a critical principle to making the world better. As we understand these concepts, we can move forward and reap rewards. We have to put down some of our personal feelings about what we think is right and wrong. In the real world skills are more important. In fact, I’d rather be on an airplane with a great pilot who continually flies accident free, who might be grumpy and mean than with the sweetest, kindest pilot who can’t fly the plane without crashing. Of course, I’m using an extreme example. However, what matters is that we really don’t care about the niceties of the pilot. We want that pilot for the skills in flying that aircraft safely and getting us to our destination without incident. If he is nice, so much the better. But in this case, we want competency, calmness and professionalism from the pilots flying the plane we are on board! -52- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles If you are in the job market (and if you’re an entrepreneur, you’re always in the job market!), think of how you purchase, for instance, a new car. You’re going to look at certain features and needs you have. You’re going to look for quality. You’re going to look at price. You are making these decisions based on what is right for you. It is the same principle when someone is going to hire you. They want you to be nice, but they are more interested in your skills. Yet, there is another component to this mix: The Ability To Get Along with Others Yep! That score you got in kindergarten about “Ability to Play Well With Others” is very important. It has been said that getting ahead in a job is 15% technical skills and 85% people skills. I don’t know where they came up with those numbers, but they sound reasonable. One of the greatest skills you can ever possess is the ability to get others to go along with you of their own free will. This is another one of those important principles that has to be burned into our minds in order to succeed in today’s world. I know many in the tech world that think all they have to do is come up with great technology ideas, program better than anyone else, invest a great technology or something along the technical lines, and they won’t have to deal with people anymore. I have been in technology since 1982 and I have yet to see anyone get ahead and make serious money who couldn’t get along with people. Even someone like Bill Gates, currently the richest man in the world, has the ability to communicate. He started out being more technical but he is smart enough to know that he has to have the skills of working with others in order to get ahead. So, you need technical skills for your job. If you’re studying Law, you have to know the Law. You have to be able to pass the Bar Exam and be -53- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles accepted into your State Bar Association. However, if you want to progress and get ahead, you must have the requisite people skills or you won’t get very far. That ability to get along with others thing is really important. If you combine it with strong skills you have a winning combination. I mentioned colleges and universities as good places to increase skills. However, it is even more important that you learn to acquire and assimilate pertinent information rapidly. Two of the best skills you can acquire in today’s world are speed reading (or rapid reading) and strong memory skills. If you can absorb information rapidly and devour books and magazines quickly, you’ll be able to learn more and get father ahead. I wish they taught speed-reading at the Third Grade level. They don’t. That is too bad. For children today, they are faced with a mountain of reading in their lifetime. The best most schools offer is the old 17 th Century word by word reading method. This is the 21st Century. It is time for a change. But don’t expect that change to come from government schools. Instead, parents, teach your children, on your own, how to read rapidly, how to memorize and how to grasp the essential information needed for success in the 21 st Century. This is one reason that the Home Schooling and the School Choice movements are increasing so rapidly. Most inner city parents realize that the government schools have failed and continue to fail miserably. This is why many have taken their children out of the government schools and train them through Home Schooling. Is it any wonder that the children coming from private schools and Home Schooling perform, on average, better on tests and scholastic skills? If you’re a parent, take matters into your own hands and educate your children. Even if they are going to the government schools, make sure your children are getting the skills and tools they need to succeed. -54- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Speed reading helps you develop the ability to process vast amounts of information quickly and to retain much more than you would by the old word-by-word method. If you haven’t already had a course in this valuable skill, find one in your area or on the Net soon. Remember that your area today includes the Internet so you have no excuse for not getting some type of training on rapid reading. I have found that the courses from places like Evelyn Wood Speed Reading and their competitors are marvelous for learning how to read faster and retain more. The skill of Memory Development is vital as well. The more you can remember names and faces the better off you’ll be in today’s world. Remembering phone numbers, account numbers, e-mail passwords and other information is vital. Some people say that you shouldn’t clutter your mind with trivial details. I find that the brain works best when it is taxed more. A recent column in the Wall Street Journal cited new scientific evidence that our brains grow stronger the more they are used. This is true regardless of age. “Even the adult brain is "plastic," able to forge new connections among its neurons and thus rewire itself. Sensory input can change the brain, and the brain remodels itself in response to behavioral demands. Regions that get the most use literally expand. In terms of which neural circuits endure and enlarge, you can call it survival of the busiest.”5 This is really good news! The more you exercise your brain and push it to the limits, the more it will respond positively. A great way to do this is by memory exercises. I’ve enjoyed going through the work of Dominic O’Brien. 6 I have read other books by Jerry Lucas and Harry Lorayne on developing memory. Be 5 Wall Street Journal, October 11, 2002, “Survival of the Busiest” Dominic O’Brien, Audio Cassette Quantum Memory Power published by Nightingale-Conant, 8003235522. This is a great audio program for learning how to develop your memory. It is great for business and personal uses. I highly recommend it. 6 -55- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles sure to see the reference section of this book for more information on other ways to increase your memory. One of the drills that I‘ve found through the years that helps me is to go through lists of memorized items and repeat them. For instance, I like to remember the various individual States of the United States along with their capitals. I also like to go through the list of Presidents of the United States in order. I find that going through these and other lists helps to keep my brain active. It is like “push-ups for the brain” in that it gives the ole’ noggin a workout that keeps it fresh and alive. Make a list of things that are important for you. It could be a list of “10 steps to success” or something like that from a favorite author of yours. Then regularly work through these lists. The purpose? Much like push-ups for the body, these lists that you’ll memorize will help you to strengthen your brain and become more alert and creative. Remember that the brain is much like other muscles; the more it is used the stronger it becomes. Work your brain mercilessly. Condition it and make it tougher and stronger. It is all you’ve got to get through life. Make the most of it. -56- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Learning Through the Internet We live in a great age today. You can learn about subjects from around the world simply by having an inexpensive access to the Internet. You can read, listen and take courses. Today there is no excuse for not having a solid, continuing education. I find that I learn a lot through reading on the Internet. One of the greatest sources is to read trade publications in your areas of interest. Find those areas that are of most interest to you and you can research them. A great way to do a search on a subject is through the website www.google.com . This site is so popular is has been blended into our colloquial terms. It is used today to look up information on someone as “Do a google on them.” We Americans have a habit of turning nouns into verbs. I guess that is because we are very action-oriented and want to get things done. (Think of the phrase, “I’ll fax this to you “when fax is really a noun, not a verb). I find that Google is a great source for information but you can get more from other places as well. Here are some others that would be of use to you: 1. 2. 3. 4. www.vivisimo.com www.wisenut.com www.dogpile.com www.magportal.com I find that these provide abundant amounts of information on most topics that I need to know. Learning Through Your Local Library Some of this will fall into the “Duh!” category but we need to be reminded of it. Sure, we know that libraries have information. But, have you seen what is out there and available today? I am spending more time than ever before in my life at my local library and loving it enormously. Since they’re taking money from me to pay for it whether I like it or not, I figure I should avail myself of the service. -57- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles You might have a service similar to what we have in Orange County, Florida, in your local library. We can order books, audios and other Library materials over the Internet and have them delivered right to our door at no charge. Well, I should say, no additional charge since we’re paying for it through our tax dollars. But this is a great service! However you choose to get books and information, I encourage you to saturate your mind with quality information on your topic. This is going to give you the skills you need for success. Many professionals take it upon themselves to read a minimum of one book a week. I’ve noticed that those who read that much are generally better able to think through the various problems of life. They are better able to assimilate information quickly and provide market-valued results. Perhaps it is much like the article in the Wall Street Journal cited about using our brains more. The more we use them, the better they perform. You owe it to yourself to stretch and push your brain to its limits. Since science hasn’t yet discovered the true limits of the human brain, take it upon yourself to push your brain farther. What does this mean? Read more. Set a goal of a minimum of one book a week. Listen to audio. Listen to at least one hour of quality, instructional audio per week. If you drive in traffic in most cities around the world today, you can do this in that “scrap” time of being in the car. Also make it a point to regularly attend seminars and lectures on topics that are pertinent to you and your needs. There are many good associations and groups that are devoted to specific areas of knowledge. You could be involved in those groups that best feed and help you to attain the goals worthwhile to you. Magazines and Periodicals Situations change quickly in our world today. Knowledge is continually being revised and modified. You have to stay updated on many different topics. One of the best ways to do this is still through magazines and journals. They are not as up to date as the television but they provide more in-depth knowledge. -58- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Speed reading is critical here. There is no way you can read through all the good magazines that are out there. Speed-reading gives you the ability to process the vital parts of information from several good sources. Newspapers Newspapers can provide daily coverage for a target area. Usually they are local newspapers. These are handy if you’re trying to stay on top of what is happening in a given community. Because I’m a syndicated columnist with Business Journals across the United States, I have to put in a plug here for those papers. You can get information on local business happenings and find out what is most relevant for businesses in your community. Check out www.bizjournals.com and you’ll see a wealth of information that is applicable for many given areas as well as general business information. I also enjoy reading USA Today and the Wall Street Journal. These nationally targeted papers each provide value. USA Today is good for a broad view of what is happening and the Wall Street Journal gives a good handle on what is happening in the world, in business, and in personal matters. I remember when I was in grad school that I started reading the Wall Street Journal and realized how important it was to grasp what was happening in the world and in business. I remember thinking to myself, “When you’re too busy to read the Wall Street Journal, you’re too busy.” That has been true in my life for years. In addition to papers in the United States, I regularly enjoy reading The Moscow Times (www.themoscowtimes.com) for perspective and insight into what is happening and how they think about current events in Russia. Other international papers I enjoy include The Sydney Morning Herald (http://www.smh.com.au/) gives me good insights into what is happening in The Land Down Under and those wonderful people there. I also like reading other papers from cities like London, Toronto and Tokyo. It is important to keep a fresh perspective on today’s news from several different sources. If you get all your information from only one source, you can become distorted in your thinking. Keep a variety of different and opposing points of view -59- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles flowing to your mind. This is how we learn. This will help to strengthen your mind. Audio Learning I love listening to audio. When I have a longer trip ahead, I often look forward to taking along several audiocassette programs, several CDs or lots of MP3 files filled with instructional and motivational thoughts. Instead of just driving along and listening to the same old songs again and again on the radio, why not turn your time spent driving into The University of the Car? This would be a great way to spend your time more productively. If you listen to 1 hour a day (30 minutes each way) you can quickly gain the information that someone would at a college or university. Think about it: What is college except someone speaking (through classroom lectures) and having required reading (the textbooks for school)? Though in some tests to make sure you’re grasping the information, you can come close to duplicating the learning experience encountered at most universities. You’ll just have to get by without those boring lectures from graduate assistants who come from other countries and speak different dialects of English that you can’t understand! The Internet provides a wealth of audio learning also. There are many sites that provide downloadable audio learning and instruction. You can get audio on the Net in a few ways. These include: 1. Real Audio. This was one of the pioneering formats back in 1995 for audio on the Internet. Instead of loading a file on your computer, you can listen as it “streams” to your computer. You would need a device on your computer or nearby (like a tape recorder) to record the sounds and listen to them later, if you choose. Otherwise, you can listen as they are downloaded through the audio speakers on your computer. You can download a Real Audio player for free at www.real.com and it will open a world of audio possibilities for you. 2. Windows Media. This is a format from Microsoft that comes with Windows. It can handle various forms of audio and video. It is in -60- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles competition with Real Audio so they keep improving it. You can get information on this at www.microsoft.com. 3. Quick Time. This is another format for audio and video on the Net. It is available from Apple. 4. MP3 files. These are files that are more known for music. However, you can get lots of information on spoken word audio. Many sites have these. For information on where to listen to books and other learning materials, go to http://www.audiopub.org for information on audio books available. You’ll need a player that can be downloaded to listen to MP3 files on your computer. One of the best is a product called Winamp and is from Nullsoft. You can get a free copy of it by going to the site: http://www.winamp.com/ and downloading the latest software. 5. Flash Audio. Flash is a software program from Macromedia which is very popular on the Internet. It provides audio and video of very high quality. For the Internet it is particularly good because it is small in size. Consider this for recording your own programs and audio. 6. Other formats. As technology changes, there are more and more formats becoming available. Flash from Macromedia is a burgeoning technology that allows audio and video on your website. For more information on this and other possibilities you can check my site for information on some of the latest information, or drop me at e-mail at [email protected] and I’ll let you know what is going on now with some of the latest in this area. Text to Audio One exciting way to listen to e-mail, your favorite websites and any text you have on your computer is through software that converts text to speech. I use a program for this and listen to great marketing articles and e-mail newsletters that come my way. Just this morning, I took some recent e-mail newsletters that I had received and converted them to audio. Then I listened to them while I was working -61- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles out with my morning calisthenics and exercises. What a great way to exercise both my body and my brain. You can get lots of programs that will handle this conversion. Contact me through e-mail about what is the best on the market today. Hiring Experts From Anywhere Not only can you learn from books, tapes, CDs, magazines and other sources, you can gain from experts anywhere in the world. For instance, I told you earlier about my experience with Dominic O’Brien and his Memory Development techniques. Dominic is the #1 Memory person in the world as recognized by the Mental Sports Olympics in London, England. After I listened to his program I wanted to find out more about him and work with him as a coach. I wanted to call him on the phone, pay him for his time and learn from the best. Well, I wasn’t able to get in touch with him directly but by searching a lot on the Net, I was able to come up with a company called Learning Technologies, Ltd. that provides training in Memory Development, Speed Reading and Mind Mapping (a technique for learning material and remembering it). I was able to get through to Phil Chambers who has helped me in study of various topics related to memory and speedreading. Phil happens to live near Birmingham, England. I live in Orlando, Florida. However, that doesn’t prevent us from working together. I made it a point to call him for scheduled meetings where we would talk over the phone. I would record our sessions (with his knowledge and permission) and then go over the material for enhanced learning. Think of how you can reach experts in given topics wherever they live in the world. Your knowledge and education is worth the price of a phone call! Think about how much you would pay to be with that person in person! For the mere price of a phone call and their hourly rate, you can get access to just the people you need to reach without leaving the convenience of your home. -62- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Of course, this is up to you to make it happen. You have to be proactive to get in touch with the people that have the specific knowledge you want. With phone costs at a historic low and Internet connections at their fastest levels ever, now is a great time to create and craft your own personalized university learning just what you need in your life. Go back over the list of Life Goals that you created in Chapter 2. These are going to drive you forward. How many of them are going to require money? How many of them will you be able to attain by acquiring specific knowledge? Now think about what steps you’ll need to get the necessary knowledge that you can receive from the various sources cited in this Chapter. Exercise Here’s your exercise for Chapter 3. Go over your list of A Goals from your Life Goal list. Write down specifics on what you’ll need to do to make your top priorities a reality in your life. Think of the steps that will be necessary to attain those goals. Break down the project into bite-sized chunks. This is a process called “chunking” to break a large and seemingly insurmountable task into various attainable pieces. What sources of knowledge do you need to yet accomplish your goals? What new pieces of information are you going to have to acquire to make your goal a reality? Do the hard thinking part and you’ll see many opportunities that start to open. This is discussed more in Chapter 4 where we talk about the important subject, “Counting the Cost.” -63- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Chapter 4 – Counting The Cost “There is absolutely no inevitability as long as there is a willingness to contemplate what is happening.” Marshall McLuhan I t is time to contemplate what is happening. It is time to think about what you want and what it is going to take to attain it. Nothing great in life was ever attained without effort. You have to put forth that effort. If you’re with me this far into the book, you are serious about making the magic happen in your life by creating your own miracles. You’ve laid out your goals (Chapter 2) and you’ve looked at resources available (Chapter 3). Now it is time to do some serious thinking and serious talking with yourself. Are you willing to pay the price that is going to be necessary? Chapter 5 will deal with Paying the Price and what is going to be required for you to do that. This chapter is a time to sit down and decide if you are willing to do whatever it takes to make your goals happen. Are you willing to pay the price to make the magic happen in your life? That is a question that only you can answer. No one can do it for you. You have to go into it with your eyes wide open, knowing the ups and the downs, the pros and the cons. You also have to be willing to persist through the hard times that are going to come that you don’t even know about! However, what will keep you going is the dream of attaining your goals. Making the magic happen in your life is dreams that can help you achieve what you need. One of the things that has helped me a lot is a quote by my friend, Brian Tracy who said that when you are getting started you do a lot of work for little pay. Then as you get better and better and your skills are more in demand you do little work for a lot of pay. It is called leverage and you gain that by knowledge from experience and your personal learning and growth. -64- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles You do have to pay a big price. There are a lot of requirements for success. Your requirements will consist of Time, Money and Effort. Let’s look at these individually to see how we can best arrive at the solution needed. Time Requirements “Does thou love life? Then do not squander time; for that's the stuff life is made of.” Benjamin Franklin Life is made of time. It is all we have. Each of us has 24 hours in a day and no matter how much money you have, you can’t add one second more. The poorest person still has time to accomplish their goals. How Long Will It Take? This is a question you have to ask for each of your major goals. You have to estimate how long it is going to take to accomplish what you need to do and how long it will be required. If you have a goal to be a brain surgeon, figure about 4 years for undergrad work, 4 more years for med school, another 2-3 years for specialty training and then 2-3 more years for your residency. Then on top of that, there could be extra requirements (just in time alone!). You can see why it is important that we pay brain surgeons well to keep the incentive for new students to go through the programs. However, that is a long, long commitment to get a profession. There are other goals you’ll have that won’t fit well into the time frame. For instance, if one of your goals is to find the right soul mate and be with that person, you can’t necessarily pinpoint a time. However, you can commit that it is important to you and budget time to be around people that can likely fill that need. Either way, it is going to take a strong commitment of time to make worthwhile things happen in your life. The events of September 11, 2001 brought home the importance of living life now, rather than waiting forever. We saw people that were working, doing their job suddenly have their lives come to an end. We all realized that we can’t put off living forever. In fact, we have to make it happen now and stop fiddling around! -65- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles This is not a test. This is your real life. You have to live it now and stop waiting for the future. Enjoy each precious moment that you have. Savor life as you would each morsel of a carefully prepared delicious meal. Life is way to short to waste it on trivial activities and involved in those things that don’t support you or fulfill your goals. However, here is the paradox. We can’t just live for the moment. Yes, we savor that delicious meal. But we don’t live as hedonists living only for the moment. We have to plan for the future. As the wise poet said before, you have to plant seeds for a tree under which you will never sit. You have to invest for the future, both your future and those that will follow you. So, how do we match these two seemingly contradictory goals? We have to budget. We have to budget our time and all our resources. Carefully invest some in enjoyment for the moment. Carefully invest some in fulfilling those long-term goals. Carefully invest so that years from now you’ll be able to enjoy even more. This takes planning. It takes preparation. It takes lots of thinking. As you’re planning be sure to leave that legacy of who you are. Benjamin Franklin, one of America’s Founding Fathers said, “If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are rotten, either write things worth reading or do things worth the writing.” Make your life count. What is the Cost in Money? Money is a way to get things done. It is a way to acquire possessions that are important and valuable. It is one of, but not the most important things in life. Many of the goals you have will directly or indirectly relate to money. If you want to take a trip somewhere, this is obviously going to require a lot of money, depending on the distance. You have to have a means of generating income. This will come by generating value for others. The more value you can generate for others, the more they will be willing to part with their capital to purchase the products or services that you provide. -66- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles It has been said by many that there is “no such thing as a free lunch.” This is true. Somebody has to pay. You are either getting a lunch at someone else’s expense (meaning they are the someone paying the bill) or you’re paying for it yourself. This is important to know in life. Too many people think that someone else will be there to provide for them and take care of them. This goes back to the sickness called, “the world owes me a living.” It is a sickness and can only lead to someone being hurt and hampered greatly in life. Because there is no such thing as the free lunch there is another important principle. You get what you pay for. One of the misguided policies that many people and many organizations attempt is to try to get great value without spending. I remember a few years ago I had the honor to spend some time with Tony Robbins, the motivational speaker and coach. He and I talked about a wide variety of topics including life, current technology, politics and what really is important in life. He stressed the importance of being willing to part with our capital in order to gain new information and acquire knowledge. I thought this was interesting as he demonstrated how he was doing that in his life. Tony has his detractors. I don’t know him personally other than from spending several hours alone with him as he prepared for the next day’s presentation. I can’t speak for his detractors or their accusations. I just know that what he told me rang true. In order to get ahead in this world you have to be willing to invest in yourself. You have to be willing to part with your capital to gain something more. Many people will not give a second thought to spending money on frivolous things. Worse yet, they borrow money on depreciating things! Rather than do that, invest your money first and foremost in your own education and learning. Invest in making your skill set stronger and more marketable. Invest in those areas that are going to be value to others. -67- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles One thing I have always found amazing is the people that complain that they can’t afford health insurance. They think that all health insurance has to come from their employer or they won’t pay any of it for themselves. Yet these same people sit home watching a rather expensive television, tuned into cable with several premium channels and talking on their cell phone! Hello! Maybe they need a lesson in priorities rather than more marching on the government to demand a “fair” wage or so-called Universal Health Care (Socialized Medicine). Benjamin Franklin said something else that I think is quite valuable. “Use the coins of your purse to fill your mind and your mind will overflow your purse with coins.” This is so true. The money you invest in learning and growing your skill set will pay rich dividends for you later on. Of course, you have to carefully think about where you’re investing your money. This comes from experience. Lean towards learning and education and you won’t go wrong. When purchasing goods and services you are always better off to get top quality rather than go for just the lowest price. Lock in quality and then look for price when buying. It is better to be cheated in the price than in the quality of the goods. This is an old saying from a wise person of years ago. It is hard to believe at first but we are better off paying too much for fine, quality merchandise rather than getting cheap merchandise for a bargain. The price that we pay is soon forgotten but what remains is the quality. A friend of mine, Dr. Gene Griessman, told me once about an attorney that he hired to help him with some legal matters. He selected one of the most expensive lawyers in the city to represent him. He told me that he did this because an expensive lawyer will save you money where a cheap lawyer will cost you more. Gene said that you pay more with the cheap lawyer because first it can take the cheap lawyer more time to do the same work that the expensive lawyer can do quickly and easily. Secondly, you are more likely to lose the case -68- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles and forfeit everything you have plus the legal fees if you have a more inexperienced lawyer representing you. In matters that are critical, go with the best. Borrow if you must, but invest in the best when it matters most. At the same time, use your judgment. (There’s that word again!) For things that don’t matter go for the best prices. For instance, I find that I can buy certain non-perishable products in bulk at a local Sam’s Club here in Orlando and save a lot over having to make several trips to pay for the same item at a regular store. Sam’s is good for some items. The other stores are good for other items. Judgment is the key and that comes from learning and from experience. On the flip side, I’ve learned the hard way about buying way too much in bulk that I don’t ever use and end up discarding much later. Yes, I saved on a per unit basis, but my overall savings would have been greater if I had just purchased small quantities as needed. Judgment is the key here again. While we’re on the subject of cost, I think we also have to think about what is the best use of our money. When I was younger I thought about getting more and more possessions. I wanted to fill my home with luxurious possessions and then get a bigger home for them. Of course, the bigger home was then filled with more possessions and created a desire for a bigger house. This lead to a spiraling upward problem. It is the same situation discussed by the philosophy Dennis Diderot (17131784) . He talked about getting a new item like a wallet. The new wallet was particularly elegant and fancy. Once purchased, he knew that he had to get pants that were of the same quality. How could you carry such a nice wallet with less than elegant pants? Of course, when you purchased the pants, you had to get a new shirt to go with it. That new shirt led to purchase of a new overcoat. The new overcoat required the purchase of new shoes. From there you had to put them in a nice closet, which had to be in a nice house, etc. etc. The continuing upward spiral never stopped. -69- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Diderot then gave away the wallet as it was way too expensive. Rather than accumulating more and more stuff many today are choosing to invest their money into things that matter more like experiences and helping others in their lives. It was James Gilmore and B. Joseph Pine II that wrote The Experience Economy. In their work they cited references showing that our economy has gone through accumulation of possessions and now we value experiences that are created far more. Think about yourself. After you have so much stuff, you really don’t need any more or desire any more. Yet, experiences are always in vogue. Capturing these through digital photography and digital media devices provide a way to relive great moments with friends and loved ones over and over. Personally, I find that things are nice. I like to have them but I don’t need them. I find it curious that as I grow older I value things less and less and put more value on experiences and building memories with friends and loved ones. If you had asked me when I was 25 what I would do with a sudden windfall of $1 million I would have thought of many items. Today, I think of investing it in experiences with friends, learning, classes, trips where I can learn and other people. I guess this is the way life works for us. You have to decide how much money you are willing to invest in various areas of your life. What is it that is important to you? Think in terms of long-term benefits and you’ll make wiser decisions. Many of us today are trying to “de-stuff” our lives. We have lots of clutter and things from past accumulations. These things are largely being divested or thrown away. It doesn’t mean that we don’t buy things. I’m a strong advocate of the free market and the ability to acquire as much money as you want. I also find that wisdom through the ages has focused on kindness, beauty and truth more than material things. You have to make your own choices of what is right for you. This is the key to living well. It is hard because it requires a lot of gut-wrenching, honest thinking. -70- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles But it is well worth it! What is the Cost in Effort? Anything worthwhile is going to take effort to accomplish. Without significant amounts of positive, effective effort you’re flaying against the wind. Part of counting the cost is looking at how much effort is going to be required to accomplish a given task. You have to decide if it is worth it for you in the long run. You have to ask yourself if it passes the “so what?” test. Is the amount of effort going to pay off in something worthwhile and big for you? Sometimes the effort is worth it not only for the end results but for what you’ll gain in the process. Going to school is a good example of this. In school you have to take a lot of courses that seem like a waste of time. In undergrad school, it is not uncommon to hear students complain about having to take a given class because “it doesn’t relate to my major.” They might be studying, say, biology and desire to be a medical doctor. They complain about being required to take, for instance, history, seeing no relevance to knowing when a battle occurred in some distant past moment and how that will help them ultimately to save lives. The magic is in the process. The big benefit of taking history, or any other subject, is not just the value from learning about history, although I could go on for a while about the benefits of studying history. We learn what human nature is like through the ages. We learn about the mistakes they made years ago. We learn, as George Santyana told us, that those who don’t learn from history are condemned to repeat its mistakes. There are many more benefits of studying history, but this is not the place for those arguments. The benefit, though, for a pre-med student to study history (to use that as an example) is the training and the learning how to learn that comes from it. When the mind is subjected to the rigors of study and learning, amazing things happen. You broaden it to see the big picture of what life is all about. -71- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles You learn how to deal with difficult situations. You build different parts of your brain that wouldn’t be touched by other disciplines. The magic is in the process of learning how to learn. I studied all kinds of things that were required when I went through my MBA program. I studied things like Differential Calculus, Integral Calculus, Durbin-Watson statistics, Chi-Square Analysis and more gobble-de-goop (at least it seemed like gobble-de-goop at the time!). I don’t remember much of it at all now, although I’m sure I could do a quick review and refresh my memory on it. However, the benefits of studying that stuff came from disciplining my brain to learn new things that were tools for solving other problems later. If I didn’t understand some of that stuff, I would never have been able to grasps the more important concepts we studied in marketing (my major in the MBA program). One technique I remember learning is called linear programming. It is a marvelous tool used in business to determine optimal quantities needed for input, constraints upon the process and the ultimate output and price for this. I’ve since come to realize that life is just one big linear programming model. Everything you do requires certain inputs (time, money, effort, etc.). You have a desired output (rewards achieved, feeling good, money in return and other benefits). You have to find the optimal combination that works for you. And the trick is that it keeps changing! Just when you figure it out for one set of variables, you have others that change and effect the whole thing. This is all part of living life. It is just the way things work. Besides, there is another benefit to studying things that you don’t think you’re going to use. You don’t know the future. You never know what it is exactly that you’ll use in the future or what opportunities lie ahead. Benefiting From Hard Experiences When I had just entered the MBA program at Georgia State University I came from an undergrad degree in Communications. I knew lots about radio, newspapers, television, advertising, etc. I had worked for six years in radio and for about 10 years in various newspapers. I enjoyed those and -72- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles wanted to learn more about how to apply the principles of business to what I knew about being on the radio and writing newspaper reports. The first class I took was an introduction to Accounting. It was a prerequisite for the MBA program since you needed to know a lot about accounting in order to go through the rest of the MBA core program. Well, I entered that Accounting course with gusto and enthusiasm! I was going to learn this stuff, even though I knew I wouldn’t use it much. As I got into the course, it became increasingly difficult. I was not doing well. In fact, I completely failed the first test. I just couldn’t wrap my arms around this topic called Accounting. I was beginning to feel discouraged. I was feeling miserable because if I didn’t make it through this course, I wouldn’t make it through the rest of the MBA program. I had all those downward spiraling thoughts about not being worth anything, not being able to make it, being a fool as I told all my friends I was going for an MBA and then to get thrown out of the program was the ultimate embarrassment. I consulted with the professor. He was kind and gracious to help but I still didn’t quite get it. I finally ended up getting a grade of D in that course. It was devastating to me personally! I knew that I couldn’t continue like that and get my coveted MBA degree. Then the letter came. It was the letter from the administration of GSU that said I would have to retake the course or drop out of the program. I couldn’t continue with the program unless I pulled up my GPA (grade point average). I felt the shock of having reality setting in around me. Where was I going to go with my life? My then wife was working on her Masters in Counseling and I knew that I would be left behind working at some job I probably didn’t like and having to carry the burden of flunking out of the MBA program. That December, when I got the letter, was a very, very difficult time in life. I was having all kinds of nasty thoughts about what I was going to do about the course, my MBA, my career and even life. For a young man in his early 20’s my career was very important at that time. I can understand why many -73- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles people get depressed and want to give up on everything when something doesn’t work the way it was supposed to work. On top of all the psychological pressure, there was a lot of financial pressure. We both had debts up to our earlobes at that time. We were living on student loans. Our net worth was in negative numbers. We owed money to our parents as well. Things didn’t look super bright for the future. It was at that moment that I made the decision to go for it. I was going to take that Accounting course again. I was determined to make it this next time no matter what. Besides, I had already been exposed to the material so it would be a piece of cake, right? Wrong. I took the course again. Once again I had a very good instructor who graciously helped me through many of the difficulties. So, you’re probably wondering how it all turned out? I was planning on getting an A in that class. Yeah, I’m an optimistic little rascal! Well, I didn’t get an A there. However, I did manage to squeak by with a university-accepted grade of B. I was still on academic probation, but I knew I was coming out of it. My confidence was building and that was the most important part. It is amazing what happens as you build your confidence. You do this by achieving small tasks and overcoming them. Then you try other, small, bitesized tasks and accomplish them. Each step along the way, you learn more and more about what it takes to be successful. You learn about these various tasks. Most important, you learn about yourself and your abilities. You learn how to stretch your abilities and become more than you thought you could be. That is the real benefit. So, I had made it through that second accounting class with Norman Dressel. He was a well-respected Accounting professor at GSU. He had taught me to keep going no matter what. -74- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles It was a couple of quarters later that I had another awesome task. Another one of the required classes in the MBA program was Cost Accounting. This is where they teach you about how accountants calculate the true cost of plant and equipment, depreciation and other important stuff related to business. This time I entered it with a fresh and renewed frame of mind. I had finally gotten a B in Accounting. This time I was more determined than ever to do well. Once again, I had a good professor who helped me as this Communications undergrad kid learned about the world of business, numbers and that dreaded Accounting! I worked my little butt off in that class. I would go over the examples they gave us time after time. They would give us an example of how to perform a certain task. Then the assignment was to do one on our own. Well, I took the pre-done example and went over and over it. I drilled on it at least 100 times (literally!). I guess some are more thick-headed than others and it sure took me a while, but I would not give up. I kept drilling and drilling on those examples until I could do them from memory. It took a lot of time to make that happen. It took a lot of discipline to give up other activities and redo those costing examples, even though I had done them before. There was a little voice in my head that would say, “You don’t have to do this. You already know it. Besides, you owe yourself a break. Take it easy. Relax. Don’t worry, you’ll be just fine.” I realized that that little voice was the voice that would harm me. It would take away the goal I had of first successfully completing this Cost Accounting class. Secondly, it would keep me from getting the MBA degree that I wanted so much. Well, I kept on keeping on and honed discipline skills that I didn’t know I had. When the course was over, I was delighted and thrilled to get a solid grade of A in that class! I was ecstatic! I had conquered the nemesis of Accounting! If I could conquer those debits and credits, those costing models and all that other stuff, I could take on anything! -75- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles As you apply yourself you’ll learn more and more about not only the tasks, but about you personally. You’ll build character and discipline. These are two of the most important skills you’ll need to accomplish anything that is really worthwhile in life. This is another benefit of learning and growing. Well, the MBA program continued and I worked hard on the courses. I can’t say that I got all As in every course. However, I made sure that I learned a lot about many aspects of business. One particularly important class was Finance. This was another one that required a solid knowledge of numbers and how they all relate. Remembering what I had done in Cost Accounting, I decided to go overboard in learning this also. Remember, all this time I was a Marketing major and knew that I wouldn’t have much use for all the details of Accounting later on in life. However, I took it as a challenge and a way to have fun. I know that Accounting and fun don’t seem to go together in the same sentence, but I decided to make that happen also! I was a determined rascal! In Finance class, I discovered new concepts and ideas. I tried the same practice of looking at models that were done and working properly. I would then go through these models over and over. I remember going over them at least 100 times (no exaggeration!) till I could do it from memory. I went through a lot of paper and had to empty the wastebasket a lot. But that’s OK. I was able to learn this stuff. Life has a habit of presenting many different choices and you don’t always see the connection between them. Much like Jacob Brownowski’s BBC program, Connections, we can’t see how things relate at first. They seem like they aren’t related at all. Yet, I’ve continued to be amazed at how having skill in one area helps in another. It is amazing how knowing one person helps to relate to another even if there doesn’t seem to be any connection! We have to be ready and open for the excitement and joy that life will bring, if we are ready for it. One of the concepts they introduced was that of a Cash Flow Model. It describes how to treat cash coming into and flowing out of a company with the proper accounting rules. I thought it was a fun challenge so I built the little models on paper (we didn’t have spreadsheets available at that time) -76- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles and made sure everything added up properly. I went through it repetitiously over and over. Again, that little voice came back in my head. “You don’t have to work so hard. You should take it easy and relax. Besides, isn’t life to be enjoyed?” Once again, I had to tell that little voice to shut up and I blocked it out of my mind. I persisted and carried through no matter what. When the final exam for that Finance class came, I looked at the test and smiled. The final question was to design a cash flow statement using the model that had been introduced in class. After practicing over and over, I could close my eyes and do it! Well, I kept my eyes open but went through the model I had memorized and plugged in the various numbers. I made sure they added properly and felt very good about the test. Well, the bottom line (to use a good business phrase) was that I got an A in that Finance class. I felt elated again knowing that I had a system that worked for me. See, that is one of the biggest benefits of studying and learning. You develop a system that works for you. Each person is different. You might not have to go through the examples 100 times or more to learn. However, you have to come up with the system that works for you and you only learn that by trying and trying and experimenting over and over. Well, by this time in the program I had completed the required Accounting and Financial classes and could turn my attention to my beloved Marketing classes. I enjoyed them and learned a lot. One of the highlights for me was having a class with Dr. Tom Stanley called Strategic Marketing Planning. He was fun and made the class most enjoyable. He later went on to write a book with William Danko entitled, “The Millionaire Next Door.” In that book Dr. Stanley expressed many of the principles that he had taught to us young starry-eyed MBA students. Thank you, Dr. Stanley, for your help! Then graduation finally came. It was a very emotional moment for me. I had made it through the program and knew that I could conquer the world. Yes, I felt good! -77- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles See, life has a way of continuing. It is like that tape recorder I mentioned in Chapter 1. There is no Fast Forward. There is no Rewind. There is only Play and Stop. You hit play when the doctor smacked you on your bottom when you were born. You can hit stop prematurely. However, when we persist through the difficulties we learn. When we gather more information and get help during the tough times, we become better people for it. Life just seems to have a way of operating that way. Oh, there is more to this story. Soon after I got out of the MBA program I was in management consulting. At the time (early 80’s) there was a new tool emerging called the Personal Computer (PC). I was intrigued by these little rascals and took it upon myself to learn how to use an old Apple II Plus sitting in an office. I got permission to work on it for long stretches of time. I found that the electronic spreadsheet on that computer, called SuperCalc, was quite helpful in putting together formulas and worksheets. I was able to put together a Cash Flow Statement like we did in Finance class on the computer. This was helpful with clients as I could change just a few numbers and get results for them incredibly faster than the old pencil paper and calculator method. What would take weeks before could be done in a matter of hours. This was a major breakthrough. Well, as things turned out I began teaching others about computers and how to use these in their practice. Accountants loved learning about a new technology that gave them a strong, competitive advantage. They loved the new way of doing things. That is most Accountants did. Some resisted it and clung to their own columnar pads and calculators. However, I kept on persisting (there’s that word again!). I kept doing more and more and learning about these new things called spreadsheets. About that time a couple of new spreadsheets hit the market. One called MBA from Context Management Systems. Another one was called 1-2-3 from Lotus Development Corporation. I looked at both of them and decided that I would throw my efforts into learning Lotus 1-2-3. I spent a lot of time and effort to learn the product. I got involved in a computer club so I could get to know others who also used computers. I took some additional courses at GSU just to learn about computers more. I had studied them a little during the MBA program but they were starting to -78- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles take off and move. I felt something major was happening and I didn’t want to be left out. As I began to learn more and do classes I had the opportunity one day to teach a class that would change my life. These opportunities come along and you don’t realize them when they do. The “magic” is not something that is supernatural. Remember that “luck” is where preparation meets opportunity. This day when I was teaching a regular class on Lotus 123 there was a person who heard me and wanted to talk about doing other things in the future. Her name was Katrina Street and she was with the Georgia Society of CPAs. When I went through my little cash flow example on Lotus 1-2-3 she lit up seeing the possibilities for her CPAs to learn this new technolo gy. She asked me to speak for a special conference they were holding in a few months and I agreed. I was able to show some of the things that could be done with Lotus 1-2-3. I enjoyed being in front of people, talking, laughing, and making something that could be dull, like accounting, cash flow statements and electronic spreadsheets fun! And yes, you can use the words fun, spreadsheets, cash flow statements and accounting all in the same sentence! Because I had practiced over and over on how to present and how to use the electronic spreadsheets the program I did for the Georgia Society of CPAs went very well. Katrina Street then talked with me further about doing more classes with them. Well, to make a long story short, that was the beginning of my speaking career. Katrina Street started the first lab of IBM PCs and Compaq computers for any State Society of CPAs in the country. I was the lead instructor and we trained thousands of CPAs over the years in how to use Lotus 1-2-3 and other software programs. So, the lesson is to keep learning. Don’t give up. When I worked with those Accounting classes at the beginning of my MBA program I was very discouraged because I just couldn’t grasp these principles. Accounting was quite different from what I had before with radio, television and newspapers. Hey, I wasn’t even going to do anything with accounting once I got out of the MBA program (or so I thought). -79- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Interesting how the thing that I thought I wouldn’t use, but forced myself to use and learn and make fun (important concept!), helped me to establish my speaking career. And here’s the real kicker: After I had worked so hard on developing that Cash Flow Statement on Lotus 1-2-3 I used it to train literally thousands of accountants. Here I was, training accountants when I was the same guy that had struggled and almost fallen because of Accounting. Smart Persistence paid off! It was interesting when the prestigious Journal of Accounting asked me to write the very first article they had ever run about electronic spreadsheets and Lotus 1-2-3. I used my Cash Flow Statement as the model and wrote for about 750,000 accountants around the world how to do accounting and Cash Flow management with Lotus 1-2-3. I had gone from getting a D in accounting class to being featured as a noted expert on how to perform a task in accounting. Can I hear you say, “YES!!” Feels good when those things happen! That wasn’t the end of the story either. I had to keep changing and growing. Microsoft Excel has displaced Lotus 1-2-3 as the leader in spreadsheets around the later 80’s. I taught classes on Microsoft Excel later, building on my knowledge of Lotus 1-2-3. Then I gradually began speaking on more and more topics related to technology, computers and other tools. Eventually I started speaking about Marketing, Management and other key issues that businesses need to get ahead. Today, as I type this, I’m getting ready to speak to about 600 business owners at a convention here in Orlando about how they can revolutionize their business and increase sales through the proper application of key marketing principles. Today I no longer teach Lotus 1-2-3. I don’t even teach Microsoft Excel. However, I’ve taken the principles that I learned (the hard way) and have applied them to where I am now. As of today, I’ve been in 25 countries around the world, have spoken on 5 continents and have friends around the -80- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles world. I have been on the Board of Directors for the National Speakers Association and am a proud Past President of the Georgia Speakers Association. Do I tell you this to pat myself on the back? Not at all. I’m just one guy who has done some interesting things. The biggest point is that you, dear reader, can accomplish your own tasks. What is it that is your “Accounting Class” challenge? What is it that is weighing down on you and seems like it will crush you? Whatever it is, you’ll need a lot more than “a smile and a shoeshine,” as Willie Loman said in the great book Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller. You can’t make it on sheer lungpower and “a Positive Mental Attitude.” 7 “Look at a stone cutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not the last blow that did it, but all that had gone before.” Jacob A. Riis, 1849-1914 It takes lots of effort. It takes lots of determination and persistence (that magic word!). It takes “Smart Persistence.™” You have to be able to try and then correct when you’re doing things wrong. I was doing Accounting all wrong. Even though I had enthusiasm at the beginning, I needed direction. I consulted with my professors. I went to several others. I realized I couldn’t do it alone. Not only did I need their help, but also I had to get it several times. One shot didn’t cut the mustard! I had to go over and over it multiple times all the while getting their professional help and expertise. 7 I am all for being positive. I think that Norman Vincent Peale was right on target with his philosophy of seeing the positive. However, he would have agreed that positive thinking alone, without the right skills and action is worthless. You have to have the skills, resources and a never-say-die positive attitude to make it! -81- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles You might consult with an expert and not see results the first time. Don’t give up. Sometimes you have to consult with an expert multiple times and even with multiple experts multiple times to get it right. But don’t stop. Keep using “Smart Persistence™” and you’ll reach your goal. I had to leverage knowledge. I studied something called Accounting that I knew I wouldn’t use much (or that is what I thought about it at the time!) and learned discipline from it. Even if I had never worked with CPAs and taught them about electronic spreadsheets, I would be thankful for the discipline and determination that I learned from applying those principles. Today you face challenges in your life. You have things to do and things to study. Some of them seem like they have no hope of helping you in the long run. Always learn. Never stop acquiring new knowledge that is useful and might be beneficial to you in the future. You don’t know what the future holds or what you are going to do. Circumstances in our world change quickly. You have to be adaptable and willing to change your approach based on feedback from competent professionals, colleagues and the real world. It takes a lot of effort to be successful. But it is in that effort that you make the magic happen in your life. This is how you work your own miracles! Concept of Opportunity Cost One of the key economic principles I learned about is that of opportunity cost. This means that in selecting one activity you are necessarily precluding doing another. This is going to be with you always because you can only be in one place at a time. You can accomplish a wide variety of tasks in life. There are lots of opportunities for many choices. However, you have to say no to more than you say yes to. Persistence alone is not going to help. In fact, after all the good things I just said about persistence, you might think that it is the only thing that matters. Not so, grasshopper! -82- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles As with so many things in life, it is a combination that makes the difference. You need persistence, but persistence for the right goals. Situations change. The world changes. People move. People die. People leave you. This is part of the real world. What worked before is not as it is now. I would have loved to keep teaching Lotus 1-2-3 forever. In fact, it would have been great if the United States Congress had passed a law requiring everyone to get instruction on how to use Lotus 1-2-3 and requiring instructors to have had extensive experience in it. Hey that would be great for me (or so I would have thought). However, it would ultimately have been a bad thing. The market needed to change. We would have frozen technology in its tracks and not progressed. In fact it would have hurt me as well. What would have seemed like a great thing (US law now allowing me to rake in masses of money!) would have hurt me and stifled my ability to stretch and grow. This stretching and growing took a lot of pain and effort but it is worth it. Don’t wait for some sudden windfall to come your way. That kind of “magic” doesn’t happen. You have to make your own magic in the day-today quotidian (look it up!) world. You have to face each day with the mundane, boring, tasks that help you to get ahead. George Leonard talks about this in his book, Mastery. It is a must-read book which discusses the importance of doing what we know we should do, even when we don’t feel like it. This is the only way that true Mastery is achieved. I remember as a kid that my Japanese Judo instructor would teach us a new technique saying we should, “Do it 1,000 times till it becomes natural. Then do it another 1,000 times.” It is from the practice and perfecting over and over that one gains true skill. Yet, when you’re doing that you are denying other areas. This is the importance of focus. You have to focus on something with laser beam intensity to get it done. You don’t accomplish much if you give it a half hearted effort. So how do you handle all the things that need to be done in life? You can’t be off balance, can you? You have to have life balance, don’t you? -83- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Well, yes and no. For a given time, to accomplish a certain task, you have to be off balance. You have to realize the rules of opportunity cost and focus on that task at hand. You will necessarily forgo other tasks, even those that are pleasurable. During this time, there will be lots of thoughts about “don’t work all the time.” And you’ll hear “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” What they don’t tell you is that all work and no play for a while can make Jack very rich. They also will not tell you that too much play and not enough work makes Jack very poor! Think about a medical student. Here is a person that is exceptionally bright. She is working to become a medical doctor. She has to put in long hours for studies and school. She has to work hard on an internship. She has to do many different tasks in order to get that medical degree. She has to be off balance for a long time in life. However, once she has acquired that knowledge base, has her medical degree and is in practice, she can have a much better life. It is perfectly all right to be off balance for a while to reach a specific goal. You have to do that to achieve something worthwhile. In fact, life is a series of off balance moments. We work out a bit more, concentrating on dropping a few excess pounds to attain some health goals. Doing that means that we aren’t reading and studying as much then. We also aren’t relaxing watching movies as much. See, this stuff called living is not always easy. It takes work. It is painful at times. Hey, it hurts like Hell sometimes! However, those that are wiling to pay the price attain Mastery (yes, it should be capitalized). It is by devoting yourself to those areas that are right for you and paying the price, that makes the difference. Words of Wisdom from Vince Lombardi I remember a few months ago I had the opportunity to speak in Wisconsin to some bankers. We were holding the meeting in Appleton, Wisconsin. Before I left Orlando to travel up to Wisconsin I called the meeting planner, -84- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles as I regularly do, to make sure all the logistics were in order, everything was in order and to do a final follow-up with her. After we found out that everything was going as planned and all seemed well, she mentioned that they had decided to go with a football theme for that conference. Appleton, Wisconsin is close to Green Bay, Wisconsin and it is deep in the heart of Green Bay Packers country. This football legacy is strong there largely because of the great football legion, Vince Lombardi. The meeting planner asked me to join them for a dinner at the Vince Lombardi restaurant in the hotel. The hotel where the meeting was being held had a restaurant with pictures and memorabilia of Vince Lombardi when he was a coach at Green Bay. This seemed appropriate. Well, when I learned they were going with a football theme and we were going to have dinner at the Vince Lombardi Steakhouse, I thought of a contact I had through my involvement with the National Speakers Association, Vince Lombardi, Jr., the son of the famous coach. Thoughts that ran through my head were “He won’t be there. You shouldn’t call. He probably won’t want to talk with you, anyway.” You know that kind of thinking. Just when you have a great opportunity that little voice in your head starts telling you how you can’t do something. Well, I told that little voice (once again) to shut up. This is something you have to do regularly in life! I picked up the phone and called Vince Lombardi, Jr. Well, surprise, surprise, Vince answered the phone himself! He was most gracious and kind. I asked him if he would say a few words that I could record on the phone and then play them the next day at the meeting. Vince was very professional and very gracious. He gave a personal greeting to the group (which made them feel great!). Then he mentioned something about his father that is important for us today. Vince, Jr. said that many people associate a lot of sayings with his father. One of them often associated with his father, is “Winning isn’t everything. It’s the only thing.” But Vince, Jr. went on to say that when he thinks of his -85- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles father, he clearly remembers his father saying that success means paying the price. You have to pay the price to achieve the goals you want. This is so true. Many people write their goals. They really, really, really wish for them with enthusiasm. Yet, they aren’t willing to pay the price. They aren’t willing to put in the long hours necessary. They aren’t willing to put in the extra time, do the extra push-ups, run the extra laps, read the extra books, etc. Whatever field of endeavor you embrace is going to require lots of work to get ahead. If you’re willing to pay the price, you make your own magic. This is how you work your own miracles. Thank you Vince Lombardi. And thank you Vince Lombardi, Jr.! It was Samuel Smiles, the great original positive thinker, based in England in 1840 who said, “It is the repetition of little acts which constitute not only the sum of human character, but which determine the character of nations. And where men or nations have broken down, it will almost invariably be found that neglect of little things was the rock on which they split. Every human being has duties to be performed, and, therefore, has need of cultivating the capacity for doing them; whether the sphere of action be the management of a household, the conduct of a trade or profession, or the government of a nation.”8 What About What Others Think? Ever since we were in grade school, we have wondered what others think about us. Will the other kids think we are “cool?” Will we be in the “inside circle” with all the others? Grade school and high school are filled with these kinds of questions. As we get older, we tend to wonder if others think we have enough money, are “in with the in crowd” as the 60’s song said. Yet, I find those that are happiest in life are those that live life by their own dictates and don’t worry about what the others think or say. I have a quote 8 Samuel Smiles, Self Help published in 1840. -86- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles on my wall that reads, “Choosing to live your life by your own choice is the greatest freedom you will ever have.” Shad Helmstetter said that and I have to agree with him. When you get down to it, it doesn’t matter what others think. I remember seeing the title of a book in a bookstore that was very profound. The book’s title was It’s None Of My Business What You Think of Me. I wish I could remember who the author was but that title says it all. It really is of no consequence what others are thinking and saying. Little children on a playground like or dislike someone based on what they’re wearing, what was said or other childish observations. We can logically look at it as adults and realize that they are wrong. Yet, we are sucked into that thinking ourselves way too often. What others think about us is really not up to us. It is up to them. What is up to us is the requirement to live our lives according to our own purpose. I believe that we should live our lives as we want doing anything we want to do, as long as we don’t harm others. I put the word anything in italics to emphasize that because I mean it. Use your imagination. Any activity you can contemplate that someone else might do, is perfectly fine for that person to do, as long as two conditions are met: 1) They don’t harm anyone else or restrict another from doing what they want, and 2) They take full responsibility for their actions and the ramifications. This simple libertarian philosophy seems to work for me. I’ve talked with people from many different cultures around the world and no one has had a problem with it in my experience. I wish I had said this originally but it is has been advocated by many throughout the centuries. One of the first was John Locke, the English philosopher in the 1600s. John Stuart Mill, another English philosopher in the 1800’s, said, “Each man should be free to live his life as he wants as long as he does not inhibit another from living on his own terms.” Saying it in even more simple terms. Leonard Read said the philosophy of life that works best is, "Anything that's peaceful." -87- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Chapter 5 – Thinking About Tolerance O ne of the best things you can do to live life by your own terms is to build and develop a high level of tolerance for others to live their own lives the way they want. This takes lots of practice. It has been a tough road for me. I was raised thinking that certain concepts are always right and others always wrong. This made thinking almost unnecessary. Everything was black or white, right or wrong. As I get older I find there is more and more gray. Sometimes I even wonder if there is any black and white and if it is all gray. Then I realize that there are some absolutes in life and we have to hold to them. However, I find that these absolutes are more for personal philosophy and not in how to deal with others. When dealing with others, I find that life usually goes better when we exercise a great deal of tolerance. This leads to living life freely as you want. Living Life Freely Living your life as you want is the highest achievement any person can attain. The key is to live your life as you wish, doing anything you want, as long as you don't impinge on the rights of others to do the same. This simple statement seems to be straight-forward. Yet, in its simple nature is a world of complexity that can deal with humans problems and questions that have plagued human beings since the dawn of time. This work shows how this philosophy can change one’s life and provides the power to attain the goals you want. More importantly, it deals with the real world, not just some esoteric, hypothetical illusion that might or might not apply in each situation. I've discovered this philosophy after reading from giants, speaking professionally in 17 countries, talking with people from many different nationalities and cultures and just plain living life. It is a philosophy that -88- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles seems to hold up no matter what is thrown at it, and that is the true test of a philosophy. If it can stand the intellectual assaults from various quarters and still retain its premise, the truth is worthy of consideration. This is implementation of the scientific method. I’ve discussed this libertarian philosophy with various people on my own in several countries around the world. It is a universal ideal and has widereaching applications. From a scientific viewpoint, all our philosophies and concepts must continually be questioned. This is healthy and contributes to a growing mind individually and a strong database of knowledge collectively. If we don’t question the status quo we can never grow beyond it. However, there comes a point where certain hypotheses have stood the test of time that they eventually rise to the standard of being accepted as truth. Such a hypothesis was that the earth is round. At one point in time this concept was unproven, but suspected by a few. It was not until brave men like Columbus, Magellan and other explorers proved beyond the shadow of a reasonable doubt to thinking scientists around the world that the world was not flat. Moreover they demonstrated conclusively that people are capable of travel without fear of "falling off" the earth. This is scientific and provable by our senses. But what about concepts and ideas that are in the realm of human relationships and ideas about how to live? These are more "squishy" and can't be proved by a round-the-world trip or in a chemists laboratory bottles. Yet, that doesn't diminish their efficacy or reliability. So what does it mean when we hear "Do anything you want as long as you don't harm anyone else?" That statement should probably be refined more to deal with possible "Yeah but what about when...." situations. A Brock-Expanded Version Each person should be able to engage in the activities that he or she wishes as long as they assume complete responsibility for their actions. This means -89- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles to not engage in an activity that would physically harm another or deprive that other of their rights to life, liberty and property. It is key to note that each adult must assume responsibility for his or her own actions. Responsibility is the key that makes freedom and liberty possible. I like the way Denis Waitley says it when he suggests we need not only the Statue of Liberty in New York Harbor but also a Statue of Responsibility in Los Angeles or San Francisco Bay. Liberty without responsibility is destructive and harmful. If you have responsibility coupled with liberty you have the perfect combination for individual successful living and for a society at large. Let's look at this and think about where and how it applies. Practical Examples Let's start with an easy one: Suppose I like classical music (which I do). Suppose I also like classic rock music (which I also do). I have the right to listen to this music, enjoy it and play the CDs I've purchased with that music often. I can listen to it on my CD in my car, at home or in a portable CD player. As long as I have acquired the music I'm enjoying through legal, legitimate, peaceful means, it is mine to listen to and enjoy according to the agreement the CD publisher has stated. However, if I want to enjoy my CD at a volume level that bothers you, that enters into a different matter. I have the right to do anything I want, as long as it doesn't bother someone else. If my volume level is bothering you, then I have the obligation to either turn off my CD player, adjust the volume downward to a level comfortable to you or move from you a sufficient distance so as to not aggravate you. Of course, you have the same set of constraints regarding not only any CD you choose to listen to but the volume you generate with your voice. Think how peaceful and orderly our world would be if all people lived by this rule. People would be more concerned about how what they are doing effects others. We don't live our lives worried about offending others as much as we live it caring about others and how our actions will affect them. -90- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles A Little Deeper Let's go a little deeper. Here is another real-world example that illustrates the point. Suppose someone likes to drink alcohol and another does not. As long as neither bothers the other physically, each can and should respect the rights of others to drink alcohol. The adult drinker of alcohol has the right to consume the type of alcohol desired so long as he doesn't endanger the non-drinker. Yes, the drinker even has the right to drink too much, either at a single event or over a period of time. However, if this drinker consumes too much and decides to drive her car while intoxicated, that is endangering the life of others. That is where we need an objective, outside force (like the local police officer) that can and is willing to stop the intoxicated drinker from harming others. If the drinker chooses to take a taxi, there is no reason for the police to bother this person. If the drinker chooses to become inebriated at home and just fall onto the sofa at home, not bothering anyone this is his or her choice as an adult. 9 You might be thinking, "Well, Terry, that is fine to say, but what about the person who becomes an alcoholic and develops sclerosis of the liver, kidney failure or other physical problems related to drinking too much? Shouldn't we have a law prohibiting that?" First, I have to say I agree with your sentiments. You're saying that people shouldn’t harm their own body. I have to agree. Personally I'm seriously into health and nutrition. I watch very carefully what I eat even when on the road as I travel a lot in my work as a professional speaker and syndicated columnist. Yet, who is to say what is "too much?" and who is designated as a "Nanny" to another adult? Who is any of us to take it upon ourselves to tell another adult what to consume, how to live and what to do (again, as long as they don't physically harm another)? 9 All discussion here is about consenting adults. Where children are involved it is another matter and that is why parents or guardians are involved. This goes beyond the scope of this work. Suffice it to say that all statements regarding the rights of what is and is not permissible relate to consenting adults in this work. -91- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Recently I had a good friend die who didn't drink but did have bad eating habits. This person overate, ate foods that have a high fat content and ate foods that ultimately caused his death. I tried to share my perspectives with him about eating and drinking properly. Each time I suggested a change and modification it was met with an obstinate rejection of my thoughts and laughter directed at my “health nut” attitude. I wish I could have extended his life through better eating, healthy exercise and more. However, it was not my place to force my will on him. That is the tough part. I knew that certain behavioral changes would help my friend. Eliminating certain foods from his diet would have extended his life. Eating the right kinds of food would have helped. The proper amount of exercise, rest, relaxation and stress management would all have helped him to live many years longer. I have lots of scientific evidence to back up those feelings. Yet that is not the issue. If he was not open to receiving the advice and information all I could do was to lovingly share what he could do. Then it is up to him to decide how to handle it all. You might have a loved one that is engaging in some activity that is harmful to them. You have the right to share your thoughts, but if they refuse to hear, you have to back off. They have the right, as an adult, to live their life as they choose. Raising children is different as mentioned earlier. This is really a freeing effect. You don’t have the responsibility to make sure someone else does what is necessary. The truly free person realizes that they don’t have to evangelize or “save the other person.” It is ostensibly based in love, but it is not the responsibility of one adult to tell another adult how to live and force them to do something against their will. Persuasion and discussion are valid. You can talk with someone about what they are doing and try to help them become better in a particular area. However, if you have a friend or acquaintance that is harming himself or herself in a particular way, your role is to share, if you want. But after a certain point you have to drop the subject realizing that this other person has made a conscious decision to live a given way. It is not your responsibility to force them to do the “right” thing. -92- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Live your own life. Be in charge of it and you’ll keep yourself busy 24/7. Besides, when you run into people who are deluding themselves this is a job for professionals. Do not attempt to resolve this one on your own. That would be foolish on your part. Take care of your own stuff and you’ll keep very busy. You’ll also live a fuller, richer life. Still Deeper Let's go even deeper. Let's take the political hot potato of smoking. If this activity were invented today it would be banned before it hit the market. Here is an activity that we know causes death. Not only that but it can lead to emphysema, heart failure, lung cancer and bad breath! It is a disgusting activity. You might be able to gather that I don't smoke. I did once. "I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man." --Thomas Jefferson One time, when I was four, my dad, who smoked at the time, asked me if I'd like to see what cigarette smoking is all about. He didn't want me to ever smoke so he used reverse psychology. Well, I tried one tiny puff and spent the next 10 minutes coughing and in agony. Dad smiled and said, "See, smoking is bad. You should never do it." Well, that cured me right then and there. Dad has since quit smoking long ago and I never took up the habit. Thanx, Dad, for providing an excellent example of what not to do with reverse psychology. Yet, many people smoke. I won't go into the complications of how it is physically addictive, psychologically addictive and just flat out hard to quit. If you smoke and really desire to quit, get professional help. This is something that can be impossible to solve on your own. Getting that professional help can be one of the best decisions you'll ever make. This is true for not only smoking but many areas of life. Not only will you be healthier, probably live longer and get rid of that smelly breath (!) but you'll have the satisfaction of knowing you conquered something that is tough and proved you can do it! This work is not about health and smoking. If you can benefit from that feature, good for you. I say this so you'll know where I'm coming from. -93- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Yet, from a liberty point of view, going back to "Do whatever you want as long as you don't physically harm another" what is the thing to do? If an adult chooses to smoke, that is that person's business. Aside from the issue of second-hand smoke, only the person involved can make that decision. If however, the smoking that you do causes harm to another or their property (smoke odors damaging carpet, draperies, etc.) you have the obligation to refrain from smoking when you're around those that are harmed by it. If I’m in your home and you ask me to not smoke, it is only natural that I’d refrain from that out of respect to you and your belongings. “You have the God-given right to kick the government around- don’t hesitate to do so.” -Senator Edmund S. Muskie, 1968 But a deeper question emerges here in our philosophical journey. Should the government pass laws prohibiting smoking? You know they would if there were fewer people smoking and there wasn't as much money involved. If smoking didn’t bring in lots of money for the government (at the federal, state and local levels) you would see it stopped immediately. This is hypocritical, but then, government has practiced selective hypocrisy since the first tribal leaders got together in the caves eons ago and decided to take the saber toothed tiger from Og in order to feed the rest of the village. That is the reality of how government works. Principles fall way behind what is perceived as practical for today’s immediate need. This is not the ideal way to live, but I accept it as reality. Government doesn't have to tell adults how to live their lives. Government doesn't have to tell adults what they can and can't put into their bodies. This is based on two major principles: 1) It is not in the Constitution. 10 If it is not in the Constitution, it is not government's role. This is simple and straightforward. Government does get involved in many areas where it has no business. However, for the purposes of this work, and in the U.S., let's 10 I speak here for the United States Constitution. I don't know about all other countries, but I doubt there is much there to give governments the legal power to tell their citizens what they can and can't put into their own bodies. -94- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles just stick with what the Constitution says and refrain from bothering people in any other way. This is true but it is more important because of reason number 2) No one, your neighbor, your friends or any government has the right to tell a grown adult what they can and cannot do with respect to his or her own body (again, as long as you don't harm another). Excessive smoking and drinking are bad for your health. But just because something is bad doesn't mean that we should have laws telling us how to treat our own bodies. This is not the role of government. Here Come the Fat Police Besides, where do we stop? High fat content can clog arteries and veins and bring on a heart attack---the #1 killer of Americans. Do we now need "fat police" running from place to place stopping adults from putting fat into their own bodies? I don't think so. What about sugar, which can have negative side effects? Do we need the "sugar police?" You can bet that politicians would be happy to initiate such a force if they felt it would help them get elected or stuff their own coffers with cash. Here's the way it can work: You study and learn what is good for you and right for you. Make sure you do what is best in your own estimate for yourself and your loved ones. If you are doing something that brings no harm to others, then it is probably the best way to live. A quick side-note: You might detect that I’m against government. Not exactly. I think we need government. We need it to focus on three specific functions that only government really can and should do. The first is to provide mutual defense from outside forces trying to take over. That would be the form of a military. The purpose of the military is to protect is from outside forces from attacking and harming us. The second function of government is related to the first. It is the need for police to protect us from individuals or groups that would try to harm us or our property within the boundaries of the country. The third function of government is for a judicial system, or rule of law. Rather than a rule of man or a small group of people, we need government to administer certain laws and have these laws to be the ultimate rule of the land. That is all government needs to do. The private sector will handle the rest. Volumes could be written to back up that -95- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles statement but space doesn’t permit it here. However, e-mail does. Write me at [email protected] and I’d love to hear your perspective. If you wish, you can share ideas with others in a non-obtrusive, non-forceful way. Debate about it. Discuss it. Advertise for your opinions, etc. To quote Leonard Read again, Do "anything that's peaceful." Persuasion, yes. Initiation of Force, never. Keep in mind there is a big difference between initiation of force and use of force. You have the right to defend yourself. If someone attacks you, you have the right to meet that force head-on. You also don’t have to wait for the other party to physically harm you with the first blow before responding. If you see another aiming a loaded gun at you, it would be foolish to wait for the bullet to hit you before you respond. The other party had initiated the force by aiming the gun at you. In today’s world a government or organization is initiating force when they plan destruction and death of another. The rule must be, Defense yes. Initiation of force, no. This philosophy takes a lot of tolerance. If I feel that something is "right" and I even have the scientific evidence to back it up, I can feel justified in using force to stop someone from engaging in that activity. Of course, the real tricky way to do it is to get government through its police force to enforce the decisions that I feel are right. Historical Perspective Throughout history governments have used police to try to stop adults from doing whatever was considered illegal at the time. A good example of this is the travesty of the U.S. Government's activities during Prohibition in the 1920s and early 30's. A little bit of history here can help. For many years caring, well-meaning individuals saw the terrible results that can occur when someone drinks too much. Not only can harm come to the person drinking too much, but often spouses, children and others around -96- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles them are harmed, sometimes physically, abused and everyone around the person can suffer. Organizations like the Women's Christian Temperance Union (WCTU) saw the travesty. Many of them experienced the problems first hand and wanted to "do something" about it. This is a valid, human concern. Their desire to do something was admirable. However, the problem came in the way they implemented their desires. They wanted the government to do something. It seems that this is always the first sign of making a problem a huge travesty – getting the government involved. They passed a law prohibiting the "consumption or sale" within the boundaries of the United States. The 18th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution reads as follows: “After one year from the ratification of this article the manufacture, sale or transportation of intoxicating liquors with, the importation thereof into, or the exportation thereof from the United States and all territory subject to the jurisdiction thereof for beverage purposes is hereby prohibited.” Well, I'm sure they must have celebrated when that law was passed (probably not much alcohol involved, though, in the celebration). The experiment had begun. Could government pass a law and prohibit people from engaging in an activity (consumption of alcohol this time) that certain groups felt was wrong? They even made it the job of police to enforce this law so that no one anywhere in the U.S. would be able to have a beer, a glass of wine or any liquor. Well, history tells us the sad and devastating results when government tries to impose good intentions through the force of law. People still drank alcohol. Surprise! Just because there was a law passed didn't stop people from doing what they had been doing, what their parents, grandparents and generations before had been doing. They went to places called the Speakeasy where alcohol was known to be available. Local police looked the other direction when some nice large bills were put into their hands. They knew that peaceful people celebrating good times (the -97- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles "Roaring 20s" were times of strong economic activity in the U.S.). However, the dark side was that a previously unknown organization came to fruition, the Mafia. People began killing each other because the money associated with alcohol and its trade skyrocketed. Innocent people were killed. Many joined the Mafia because it provided family, a purpose and plenty of money and a lifestyle that generated many illegal activities. The 18th Amendment was ratified January 16, 1919. It was repealed by the 21st Amendment, December 5, 1933. President Herbert Hoover signed the 21st Amendment repealing the 18th amendment. He called Prohibition "A noble experiment." I disagree. It was not noble. It showed the fallacy and the abomination of government trying to force people to refrain from an activity that they wanted to peacefully engage in with friends. I’m sure that the ladies of the Women’s Christian Temperance Union felt right and justified in their efforts to pass the 18 th Amendment. I’m sure they were very happy when it passed. However, the results were devastating. The WCTU was right when they saw the devastation that alcohol abuse can have on lives. However, they way to attack the problem is not through force and certainly not by involving government. Instead, they could have used education, persuasion, and even love (hey, there’s a concept!). They could have used other means to bring about change in individuals (which is where all change has to originate anyway!). Instead, they resorted to using the force of government with disastrous effects that we are seeing even today (keep reading). This is another clear example of trying to force one group’s desire and will onto another. Intentions are usually good at the start. However, they usually end up with catastrophic results as we saw with Prohibition. But the worst part of Prohibition was that the U.S. never learned from this "experiment" even after many people died and suffered. By the way, when alcohol was suddenly legal, prices dropped and the level of alcoholism remained the same. There was no rash epidemic of an entire nation becoming alcoholics. Responsible people lived their lives in a -98- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles responsible way. They could drink in moderation and enjoy themselves if they chose to imbibe with alcohol. If they chose to refrain, that was their business also. Responsibility And Tolerance Responsibility is the key. You are free to consume alcohol as an adult. You are free to consume the quantities you want. However, you are also responsible for your actions when you choose this course of action. If you harm another while intoxicated, you are fully responsible for the consequences of your actions. Don't blame someone else for any negative reactions from what you choose to do freely on your own. Real strength of values is tested when we allow someone to engage in an activity that is peaceful, even though we vehemently disagree with what they are doing. Descartes’ statement comes to mind, "I might object to what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it." This is called tolerance. It is fundamental and critical in a free society. Society is a group of people that come together for specific purposes of living, defense, and just doing better with each other than without. There are going to be differences between people because of their backgrounds, their experiences and more. It is a hoot to be able to learn from many different cultures. In my experiences as a professional speaker I’ve been able to travel to many countries around the world. From that travel I have learned a great deal about others, their way of thinking and how they view the world. We as Americans, often loose sight of the rest of the world and the benefits that come from learning about their ways. I’ve been to Japan several times (one of my favorite countries). I find that their appreciation for established ways of old along with an excitement for the new is appealing. Areas like Shinjuku and Akihabara, two districts in Tokyo on the west and east sides have some of the latest in technology anywhere on the planet. If you want to see what is coming to the U.S. in the next few months, you can often see the early test releases in Shinjuku and Akihabara. -99- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles The way they think and act there demonstrates a love for new, exciting ways of living. For instance, I see they work hard during the day but relax and play (a lot!) in the evening. These people know how to party. In fact, the Japanese are known for waiting to see someone in the party environment, relaxed and after the effects of a few too many drinks of sake before they really trust them. Yet, even in the midst of the partying and celebrating, it is important to remember what you are there for and what is being said. This is something that other cultures will do also. I find that I can learn much from the Japanese and their traditions. Tolerance is also about free speech. I might not agree with what you are saying. I might find a gut-level revulsion from it. However, you still have the right to say whatever you want as long as you take full responsibility for your actions and don't harm others. This is backed up by the famous quote from former Justice Oliver Wendall Holmes, Jr. This was where he expressed the majority position in the 1919 Supreme Court decision in Schenck vs. U.S. In that decision he said, “"The most stringent protection of free speech would not protect a man falsely shouting fire in a theater and causing a panic." The cause of the panic would be in violation of others’ rights and therefore not be permissible. You have freedom of speech but not the freedom to yell fire in a crowded theater. That could cause a stampede and seriously injure or hurt others. You've done what you want but you have hurt them and that violates the fundamental principle of living freely with responsibility. Drug Re-Legalization This brings us to the hot-button of the day---re-legalization of drugs. Much has been said about this in contemporary American society. Like the issue of abortion, people are divided on both sides of the issue and not much can be said that hasn't been said already. Personally, I have never taken illegal drugs. Really. Unlike former President Clinton, I didn't smoke and I didn't inhale. -100- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Because I'm very much interested in health and healthy living, I think it is stupid and irresponsible to take drugs that can seriously harm your body, your mind and your life. I even avoid legal drugs like pain killers, etc. whenever possible. During my recovery from knee surgery that I mentioned earlier, I had the prescription ready to go for massive pain killers. However, rather than use the drugs, I used other means to keep the pain at bay (relaxation, meditation and a wee bit o’ vodka!). I would have used the prescription medicine, if absolutely necessary. But I prefer to stay away from drugs. Yet, I feel that all drugs should be re-legalized. I say re-legalized rather than just legalized. Drugs like marijuana, cocaine and others were legal at one time in our nation's history. In fact, Coca-Cola had cocaine as a small ingredient long, long ago. They have long since removed it from the drink but when it was part of Coca-Cola it was a legal substance. At the same time that I feel drugs should be re-legalized, I feel we need private civic groups (not the government) to fund advertising campaigns, treatment centers, "get off drugs" programs and things like that. I feel that it is a horrendous waste of someone's life to consume such substances. I don't do it myself. Yet, because others have the option as free people to do whatever they want, they have the right to do it. Someone has the right to take a table knife and stab himself or herself repeatedly in the leg. This is stupid to do this. They shouldn't do it. But, peaceful adults have the right to do things that I consider stupid or repulsive; again, as long as they don’t harm others. The so-called "War on Drugs" is a loosing battle. The film "Traffic" illustrated the futility of this insane policy very well. People don't study history. Each election year, saying they are going to “get tough” with drugs and “stop this menace to our children” elects politicians. Have you ever noticed that all someone has to do is bring in the subjects of children or drugs and the Constitution of the U.S. is thrown out the window? Go back and read the 10th Amendment. Part of the Bill of Rights, it states that anything else not mentioned already and given specific authority to the -101- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Federal government is specially, unquestionably and without any discussion, left up to the States. We have moved far from that with dire consequences through the years. You might ask, "But Terry, if we legalized drugs, wouldn't more people use them and then we would have more murders, crime and lost lives?" Good question. It would seem like unleashing this monster of drugs onto the public, as a legal substance, would create untold problems. I would answer by first asking, Are you going to take drugs if they are legal when they were illegal before? Most reasonable adults would answer no. If they made all drugs legal tomorrow there might be some that would experiment but they would have to know the full consequences of their actions. We would be able to take the trillions of dollars that have been and are being invested in this utterly senseless and harmful "War on Drugs" and leave it in the hands of law-abiding taxpayers. Those who feel strongly about the consequences of drugs can take their own money and use it to fund treatment centers, anti-drug advertising campaigns and other peaceful means to persuade others to stay off drugs. Responsibility Is The Key The initiation of force against another would still be punishable. No one has the right to harm another whether or not they are under the influence of a substance. Prohibiting the substance starts with good intentions but the results are of this in the so-called "War on Drugs" have been devastating. We need to end this insane, wasteful, deadly "experiment" immediately and completely. Let free people live their lives as responsible adults. Private charities will be able to deal with the real problems of substance abuse more effectively than any government program ever will, no matter how well intentioned that program may be. If someone is not fully responsible, that is where the law will come into play. If they harm others, we need police to check that. However, police would have more resources to spend time tracking down real criminals if they were not focusing on citizens that are engaging in peaceful activities. -102- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Whatever consenting adults choose to do, which doesn’t harm another, is perfectly acceptable in a truly free society. Remember, government’s role is not to be a “Nanny” to us and tell us what is right and what is wrong. Its role is severely and strictly limited and controlled by the U.S. Constitution. Accept Reality Yeah, it is tough. Life is not meant to be a place where everything is always wonderful and great. There are real setbacks and problems. I like the way Willie Jollie, a professional speaker and author from Washington DC says, "A setback is just a set up for a comeback." I have found that this attitude works best in life. We all have tough times. I have yet to meet someone who didn’t have some story of how things went bad in their life at one point. The difference is how we handle what happens to us. My friend W Mitchell, a professional speaker, lives his life in a wheel chair and is scared over most of his body due to not one, but two terrible accidents earlier. He can’t walk. His fingers have been burned off his body. Most people would say that Mitchell (the name he prefers to go by) is in bad shape. Not so, says Mitchell. He continually reminds his audiences that it is not what happens to us that matters. It is how we deal with it that matters. This is the key to living life fully and wholly. Accept reality for what it is. Work towards changing it in a positive way to make it better for the world. This is the best way to approach life and have the lifestyle that you want. I found that if I expect things to always go perfectly I'm usually disappointed. However, when I expect problems to occur and also expect that I'll have the ability, the wherewithal and the courage to blast through those problems I do well. Robert Ringer said this is called "The sustenance of a positive attitude through the expectation of negative results." This might seem strange at first brush but it makes a lot of sense. If you expect there is going to be tough times and setbacks first you are ready for them. Then if you know that you -103- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles are going to overcome it somehow, some way, you are going to have a positive attitude no matter what happens. I’ve found enormous energy and power to continue with the regular problems of life when I look at problems as an expected bother that I can deal with easily. I often say to myself, “I laugh at you, you little problem!” I then find ways to get around it, go through it, blast it away or someone get it out of my life. Expect that there are going to be problems in life. This is normal. If you think that there will be a time when everything will be nice and comfortable with no problems coming your way, you’re in trouble. Old man Murphy is out there and ready to pounce on your plans in many ways. I’ve learned this lesson even more by reading many of the great books written by US Navy SEAL Captain Richard Marcinko (Retired). He calls himself a Rogue Warrior ™ and talks about his missions and what he encountered in his work as a Navy SEAL. He has also written several novels that, like a Tom Clancy novel, take truth and what has happened in the real world and create a fictional story around it. Marcinko often talks about old man Murphy being there to try and stop your plans. We have to expect Sir Murphy and make our plans accordingly. Lots of contingencies and lots of “if this happens, I’ll do this, however, if this happens, I’ll do that” kind of planning are essential for success in today’s world. I encourage you to pick up some of Marcinko’s works and enjoy how things are done when life and death are in the balance. Goal setting and positive thinking are good. In fact, they are absolutely critical to attaining what you want in life. Yet, we know there are going to be problems, challenges and difficulties along the way. Successful people think and plan for probable obstacles that can come their way and figure out, in advance, how to deal with them. Successful people are not without problems. Quite the contrary. They have just as many, if not more problems than unsuccessful people. The difference is that successful people plan for problems, learn from those problems and keep going towards their goals no matter what problems hit. -104- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles We have to live in the real world. We can't live in a dream world hoping that things will just somehow go our way. It doesn't work that way. As I’ve mentioned previously, Harry Browne talked about how his life changed, for the better, when he realized that no one owed him a living. This I had accepted for years. It is what Harry said next that helped me enormously. He said that he was much freer when he realized that no one even owed him the decency of being nice. No one owed him the courtesy to be kind. Harry said that when he realized that, his life changed for the better. When we realize that fact we do much better. The only way we get what we want is by providing value for others. The world doesn’t owe you a living. It doesn’t even owe you being nice. In fact, they don’t care what happens to you. However, if you want to get ahead and succeed in today’s world, find ways to help others achieve their own goals and you’ll assure your success. That is the paradox of life. We have to provide enormous value to others to get ahead. Think about it. When you go to the grocery store to purchase food, you purchase what you need based on your needs. You might like the owner of the store. You might think he or she is a good person if you knew them. But that doesn’t matter when it comes to you getting the food you need. When people buy from you, either in the products or services you sell or your skills that you sell to your employer, they are looking out for their own interest. This is the way the world works. It is the way the world has always worked. The free enterprise system is based on helping others. When Richard Nixon met with Nikita Khrushchev in the late 50’s they had what was termed the “Kitchen Debate” about the Soviet system of Communism vs. the U.S. system of Capitalism. Khrushchev chided Nixon saying that the U.S. system was based on greed. Yet, what Nikita missed, and ultimately was proven out in the dismantling of the U.S.S.R, is that people naturally pursue their own selfish needs. -105- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Just this past week I listened to that debate on audio. It was a thrill to hear the voices of Khrushchev and Nixon debating the various systems. It is even more amusing now to know that the Soviet system of forced collectivism crumbled without the U.S. even firing a shot! The Free Market reigns! What is even more amazing is that as of this writing, the country of Russia has a lower top marginal bracket (13%) than the United States (35% with the new tax law enacted in 2003). Maybe they not only got the point, but also are setting out to establish a financial system second to none. Good for them! In the spirit of Free Market Enterprise, we welcome them to the game! Ayn Rand was one of the best writers not only in the 20 th Century but of all time. She wrote many ground-breaking books that provide insight into human nature and the way things really work. Her books, Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead remain best sellers today, years after they were published. As part of being a well-rounded reader and person, you owe it to yourself to read those classics. But, brace yourself first. They are rather lengthy tomes, but well worth the reading and re-reading. One of Ayn Rand’s other works is The Virtual of Selfishness. This might seem like a strange title, but it is appropriate. Selfishness is focusing on taking care of yourself and not burdening others with your needs. You have to produce value and take care of yourself. To paraphrase one of the characters in her work, The Fountainhead, “I will not sacrifice my life for another nor will I ask that anyone sacrifice their life for me.” Live your life taking care of yourself and freely give to others when you want. Taking care of yourself first, provides you the ability to help others through voluntary, non-forceful means. The Free Market System (has to be capitalized) provides for a way to allocate resources and provide goods and services where they are needed. It is based on principles of human nature, not wishes and “ought to be” ideas. You don’t sleep for anyone but yourself. You don’t eat for anyone but yourself. You don’t breath for anyone but yourself. This is not bad, it is just reality. When we align our lives with reality we go farther and do better than when we fight it. -106- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles My ancestors, the Native American Indians (Cherokee for me, from both my father and my mother’s ancestry) said it very well that we have to walk a mile in the other man’s moccasins to understand his way. See things from the other person’s point of view first and cater to his or her need. This is a fundamental principle that exists internationally and has existed for centuries. As you find what others want and then provide that for them, you are in a position to enjoy favor from them. That doesn't always mean money. Usually it is expressed as being kind or helping them with something they need. This is the key to getting ahead. But you have to be very careful what you provide to others. If you just give them something that you think if wonderful, they might not accept it with equal joy. Dr. Tony Alessandra calls this the Platinum Rule. This is in contrast to the Golden Rule that we have heard about. Under the Golden Rule, you "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." This sounds nice on the surface. Pretend with me for a moment. Suppose you really, really like hockey. In fact, let’s pretend that you're a fanatic for the local professional hockey team. Because you like hockey, you can't expect that everyone else likes it just the same as you. Let's say you have a friend who thinks hockey is mildly OK but really loves baseball. If you gave your friend season tickets to all the professional hockey games for your local team, your friend might think it is OK, but not great. The better approach, as the Platinum Rule expresses is to 1) find out what your friend really likes (in this case baseball) and the 2) give your friend tickets to the baseball team (if that is something your friend would like--remember you have to find out and not assume). Knowledge of and practice of the Platinum Rule can change the way you interact with others. -107- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles In our next chapter we’ll get even more down to the brass tacks of living and what you have to do in order to make your life a success as you want it to be. It is all part of living free in a world that is quite unfree. -108- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Chapter 6 – How To Live Free In An Unfree World I carefully chose the words of this chapter. They are borrowed from Harry Browne’s book that he wrote years ago. It is one of the greatest books I have ever read in my life and I highly recommend it to you. Whoever will be free must make himself free. Freedom is no fairy gift to fall into a man’s lap. What is freedom? To have the will to be responsible for one’s self. Max Stirner You have to live your life your way. Each person experiences time on the planet and he or she learns how to make it and survive in a world that is hostile. Well, maybe it’s not as hostile as it was before with everyone out to try and kill you. Today most people just flat out don’t care about you and what you are doing. They are more interested in themselves. Life is messy, confusing, not perfect and doesn’t always work the way we want. Welcome to my planet! It works that way here. You only get what you earn. You have to produce to get anything. You have to offer value. Sometimes we don’t start with as much as others. Make do and get ahead no matter what is hitting you. As I’ve said before, this is not a good or bad. It is just an is. It is the way the planet works and the sooner someone figures out this important truth the better he or she will live. In this chapter I want to give you some specific, real-world examples of how to deal with the world as it is and to attain the freedom that you want in your life. Realize the World Ain’t Perfect You might have noticed that. The world has a long way to go before everything is just the way it is supposed to be. -109- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Excuse my bad grammar in this section but somehow the word “ain’t” just delivers the message better than “isn’t.” Have you noticed that people often get excited about their particular candidate during an election? They are almost stupid when you see them. I’m not referencing any particular political party because all of them (yes, all that I’ve seen!) do things that are really stupid. We win half the battle when we make up our minds to take the world as we find it, including the thorns. - Orison S. Marden Their candidate will say something like, “We should stand up for our country,” and they all cheer, wave flags and act like little children. They have given up their responsibility to think for themselves. They have instead embraced a wish (thinking that someone else can work their magic for them). They often fanaticize that if this particular candidate is elected that the world will be wonderful and everything fine. Coupled with that belief is that if the other candidate gets in office the world will end. Often people of both major parties in the United States say things like, “Well if that other guy is elected, I’m moving to Australia.” They can change the country they are bound for, but the feeling is the same. Well, the world ain’t going to be perfect even when your guy is (occasionally) elected. If the other guy is elected, the world is not going to end. I remember when I was in 6th grade back in elementary school that I just knew we had to get a certain slate of candidates into student government or it would be disastrous for the school. Well, it turned out that every one of the people I favored was not elected. Every one that I didn’t want in office got elected. Today that school has closed and is no longer an elementary school. I can’t say there is a connection, but I think the facts pretty much speak for themselves! (Just kidding) -110- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Well, not really. Actually, it didn’t matter who was elected to the student council when I was in 6th grade. The Do you think you can take over school shut down about 15 years later because the universe and improve it? there just weren’t I do not believe it can be done. enough students in that area to justify a The universe is sacred. separate school. The You cannot improve it. School District went through consolidation If you try to change it, you will and moved all students ruin it. to another school If you try to hold it, you will lose across town. it. So sometimes things are ahead and sometimes they are behind; Sometimes breathing is hard, sometimes it comes easily; Sometimes there is strength and sometimes weakness; Sometimes one is up and sometimes down. Therefore the sage avoids extremes, excesses, and complacency. Lao Zi So, what’s my point? In the big picture it really doesn’t matter. The world ain’t perfect and we have to deal with it. The way we want things to work out doesn’t always happen. The older I get the more I realize that if we take a “roll with the punches” idea we’ll do better than if we fight and claw for what we believe is right. Thomas Jefferson was the third President of the United States. Many of his ideals are dear to those of us that love freedom and liberty for individuals. He said something about this that bears repeating here: “In matters of style flow with the currents. In matters of principle, stand like a rock.” -111- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles I agree with that statement. Yet, I find as I read more, learn from more people and get a bit older and (hopefully) wiser, I find that more and more of life is a matter of style and not principle. Even deeply held political beliefs often are more style than principle. We’d like to think they are principle but they really relate to how we are going to deal with certain issues. Does that mean that we abandon our principles and just “go with the flow” on everything? That word everything is a dangerous word. It allows for no leeway. “Everything” is a powerful word that should be used only carefully. All you have to do is find one exception to the “everything” label and you’ve destroyed the concept of “everything.” Since the world ain’t perfect it means that we have to create our own world. We have to decide what it is that we want. Then we have to go for it. We have to live it to the fullest. This is the simple key to success in living life. It is simple but it is not easy. We have to work at it to make it happen. Each of us is here in the planet for a given amount of time. We don’t know how long that time will be. As we go down the river of life we’ll meet lots of varieties in the people store. We have to decide how we’re going to invest our precious short time on this planet given all that is happening with it and to us during our stay. Time for a Reality Check Don’t believe everything you see or read. All is not as it appears. If you’re getting your news and information about what is happening in the world from television, cable, radio, newspapers, the Internet or other media source, use filters. Always remember that whatever you hear comes from a person who has a bias in one way or another. That bias, that we all have, leaks through into our expressions and how we communicate. That is not good or bad. It is an is. That’s right, it just is an is; one of those things that exists and has no good or bad attached to it. -112- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Therefore, you have to arm yourself with the benefits of being a skeptic. You have to think critically at all times (yes, the word “all” is important here). Always question where the source got their information. Did they see it? Did they talk to someone? How do we know they weren’t deceived and are giving us false information, even if they think it is true. Yet, in the midst of all the questioning, you have to also accept some things as they are. You can’t delve into all the stories that you read in newspapers or watch on television. You simply don’t have enough time. Instead you have to have a sound base of knowledge from which you draw your own conclusions. Yet, you have to be open to new ways of thinking. See, this making your own magic stuff takes work, doesn’t it? You can accept everything that you hear from others. But you can’t reject everything you hear. Ouch! Life would be much simpler if we could just accept everything without question that certain people said. We wouldn’t have to think for ourselves. Ah, there’s the rub, my reader. You have to think for yourself. The reality check you have to give yourself every day is to think about what is happening. There’s a saying out in the country that is appropriate here: “Always alert, never get hurt.” That means you have to be mentally alert to what is happening. You have to continually feed your mind with good information that helps you make your own life and those around you better. Be Addicted To Reality So what can you do? If you have to question everything and be skeptical about everything how can we live. Or in the words of the late great philosopher Francis Schaeffer, “How Should We Then Live?” I think we have to be addicted to reality, not what we think is reality. Reality exists. It exists apart from what you or I might believe. -113- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles We can see things incorrectly. We can hear something that wasn’t really said. Distortion happens. So, how do we deal with that? Multiple sources. This is what we have to do in journalism. In the columns I write for papers around the United States, I find that it is necessary to verify facts and check them out. I have to do more than just hear what one person says is true. Corroborating support is critical. You have to have several autonomous sources saying the same thing before you can accept it as true. Even then, all those sources could be deceived as well (ain’t life tough???). In most cases the best you can say is that you “have reason to believe” that something is true. You have to check your facts, then recheck, then recheck again. Yes, it takes work but this is what being a seeker of the truth is all about. Otherwise, you’re left with a In everyone's life, at some mushy-brain ineptitude that bounces like a ping pong ball from one opinion time, our inner fire goes out. to another. It is then burst into flame by Always be in pursuit of reality and what it really is, rather than taking the easy way out. This strategy can save your life. You can’t wait to find out that what you thought was right turned out to be wrong. an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for t hose people who rekindle the inner spirit. - Albert Schweitzer You are responsible for what happens to you. It is your own choices that put you in the place where you are today, for the most part. After you’ve been on the planet for a few years and can think and make your own decisions, you are responsible for what happens and how things work out in life. You can’t blame someone else for what happens to you forever and ever. Part of being addicted to reality is that you’re willing to accept things as they are, not as they “should be.” Each of us can come up with something different on how things “should” be. That doesn’t matter. -114- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles In my work I do a lot of marketing consulting to help professionals and companies get more sales and strengthen relationships with their target markets. I say over and over again that it doesn’t matter what Terry thinks. It doesn’t matter what they think. The only thing that matters is what buyers think and are willing to buy. 11 Ideas and opinions are nice. Sitting around a conference table is nice. Many people in business love to voice their opinions about what “should” be done with the advertising budget or the product, etc. None of that matters until we see things happen in a tangible, ring the cash register, sort of way. That is what matters and it is the most important thing in business. It’s just like my friend and accountant Tom Snook, CPA, says, “It’s all trash until you count the cash.” Be addicted to reality. You’ll be glad you did. See Things As You Wish, Not As They Are What? I just got done telling you to be addicted to reality in the previous section. Now I come up with the idea of seeing things as you wish they were rather than as you objectively see them now. Has Brock gone off his rocker? Many have said that for a long time. But, no, I haven’t. Let me explain. While you have to look at life as it is and see things the way they really are, you can’t become disillusioned with what could be in your future. You have to have the dream to keep going. You have to have the reason to stay motivated. Never give up your dream. 11 If you’re interested in how this principle applies in business contact me about my Sales and Marketing programs that can help your business move to the next level of success. Ask for your Free Report on “Boosting Sales in Any Environment” as a reader of this book. -115- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles When Martin Luther King, Jr. gave his famous “I have a dream” speech it was compelling. He lived a life where he dreamed for a world where people would be judged by their character and not their skin color. Did he see that happen in his lifetime? I don’t think so. However, because he courageously laid the foundation for civil rights and for accepting people as they are based on what they do, not their skin color or their heritage, we have a different world today. You have to have your dream that goes beyond just you. You have to have your dream that helps you grow and become the person you want to be. That dream for you might be something like getting your education. It might be getting a certain level of sales. It might be attaining a certain level of success as you define it and what is important to you. Never loose site of your dream. Keep pushing forward, regardless of obstacles to get the dream that is right for you. Sometimes you have to adjust and change. Many students start out in school with the dream to get a degree in a certain field. However, as they progress in that field they discover that getting a degree in that area is not what they really want. They have come to realize that they don’t really want it. That is fine as long as you adjust to those things that are right for you. My niece Heather for years talked about being a veterinarian. She loved animals and adored them. She applied to and was accepted by Michigan State University and began her pursuit towards a degree in veterinary medicine. However, like many students, she discovered that being a veterinarian wasn’t really what she wanted to do after all. Instead she wanted something completely different. That’s perfectly all right. She would not have known that she shouldn’t pursue a career in veterinary medicine until she tried it. By trying, she learned a lot about what she really wanted in life. As I write this she is on track to complete her Bachelor’s degree in Applied Materials. This is a long way away from veterinary -116- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles medicine but she is doing what she wants to do and loves it. That is most important. You have to do what is right for you, but you won’t really know until you get in there and go for it. You have to try some possibilities before you know if they are just the right work for you. The Joy Is In The Journey You find that you gain a lot of information about important routes to follow when you follow a select path. Your ideas will change. Your dreams can change. That is fine also. But you need that dream, like a guiding North Star, to pull you along. Expect to have setbacks. Expect to have times when things are rough. This is normal and part of the way things work on this planet. However, you keep moving towards that guiding star in your life. If you have to switch to another star, that is fine. It is normal, particularly for students in college, to switch majors a few times. Ultimately you do have to select something and pursue that, if for no other reason than just to prove to yourself that you can accomplish something that is worthwhile that takes work. Have your dream and go for it. It is Up to You Yes, there are powers outside that will try to control your every move. A lot of this comes from the powers of government. Since the dawn of time, people have banded together in governments and concerted great force to control what others do. However, even with the power of government at obnoxiously brutal levels today, you are still in control. A wise person can decide how to live life and how to move. -117- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles You have more power than you might think. You have the ability to accomplish things that are in line with your purpose. You just have to be wise and aware of the world. I think it was said very well by James Murphy in his book, Business is Combat. He talks about the concept of “Situational Awareness.” “Situational awareness – SA for short…is a state of mind, a level of awareness that’s almost superhuman. For a fighter pilot, having a good SA means that…you see it all in the past, present and future. You know where you’ve been. You know where you are. You know where you’re going. You know your fuel state and your weapons status. You see what the three bandits are headed, you know their weapons engagement zones (WEZ) and you intuitively sense their plan.” 12 You have to think about life that way. As a fighter pilot looks at all going on constantly, you have to be aware of your environment. You have to be mentally, physically and emotionally alert and ready for whatever comes at you at any time. It is almost like the phrase that “Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty.” The exact quote is from John Philpot Curran. “It is the common fate of the indolent to see their rights become a prey to the active. The condition upon which God hath given liberty to man is eternal vigilance; which condition if he break, servitude is at once the consequence of his crime and the punishment of his guilt” .—John Philpot Curran: Speech upon the Right of Election, 1790. (Speeches. Dublin, 1808.) Your individual freedom and liberty are the most precious possessions you have. You have to guard them diligently. There is never a time when you can “let up” or “relax” your guard. The good news is that no one out there can control everything you do. The even better news is that, for the most part, they really don’t care what you do 12 , James Murphy, Business is Combat, Regan Books, , © 2000, p. 62 -118- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles – they are more interested in what they are doing! You have the freedom to do your own thing in your own way. It All Comes Down To Individual Responsibility As we have individual freedom and liberty, we also have individual responsibility. As you interact with others, you have to provide value for them to get what you want. Then that wonderful miracle of life happens. You achieve what you want and become a better person by supplying the needs of others. To get more, give more. To give more become more of who you need to be. It really is that simple. But it is not easy. Be Realistic In Your Dreams—And Stretch! This is also called reality. Don’t think that you can jump out of a 40 th story window and fly. I don’t care how much you think and pray and hope and wish---it ain’t gonna’ happen. I’m 5 ft. 7 inches tall. That means that I’m not going to be starting center for the Orlando Magic (our local basketball team). There are a number of things that I won’t be able to do in my life, no matter how long I live. However, there are literally millions of other wonderful choices that will bring others and me around my happiness and joy. These are the things on which I have to focus my attention. I can’t waste time wishing and hoping for those things that will never happen. In fact, dwelling on those things that can’t happen keep me from attaining what I really could have. However, the flip side of that is that people often hold themselves back from what they really could achieve. They stop short of what they could do because they just don’t think that it is right for them. -119- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles What a sad commentary on life! You owe it to yourself to become the very best you can and should be. You should stretch and grow to be the person that you were meant to be. So, yes it is a continual challenge and a wonderful adventure! Ah, that stretching comes into play here. Stretching means that you’re reaching for something that is within sight but out of reach. Think of it like a martial artist who has to stretch those legs to develop more flexibility in kicking. It hurts! Ouch! I know from personal experience. Your body is screaming “No, No” but your mind is saying, “Yes.” You have to let the “yes” of the bigger goal win out over the temporary hurt of the “no” in anything in life that is worthwhile. If you don’t push yourself, you won’t be able to achieve those things that you were meant to reach. T.S. Eliot said it well, “Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” I love the way William James, the great American Psychologist at the beginning of the 20th Century, put it: “Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they’ve got a second. Give your dreams all you’ve got and you’ll be amazed at the energy that comes out of you.” Be smart about it. For instance, in martial arts you can’t stretch your leg muscles too far or you will tear a ligament. This puts you in worse shape than you were before. You have to go about the stretching under the supervision of your instructor or a trained pro. A little at a time. Day by day. How is it that Robert Schuller says it, “Inch by inch, everything is a sinch. Yard by yard it is always hard.” Break your tasks down into byte-sized chunks. Deal with each one in a manageable way. As you string together a series of successes, you’ll be able to achieve the goals you want. However, you have to have the discipline to break them down into achievable objectives and maintain the discipline to see them through. -120- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Living Life In Your Own Way In the final analysis it is all up to you. Robert Ringer is one of my favorite authors. He has a theory that he calls the “One to a Box” theory. He says that he never went to a funeral with two people in the same box. They always have just one to a box. In the final analysis the human experience is a lonely experience. Being with family and friends makes it more tolerable and worthwhile. That is why we need friends and family with whom we can associate and get honest real feedback. You have to live your life your way. What others say you should do doesn’t matter. You have to do what is right for you. But, but willing to accept the consequences. I know some people that refuse to go beyond their banal existence and won’t see anything new in the world. Their small, secluded world is to watch television every night, stay within 25 miles of where they live and never deviate from their own prosaic lifestyle. What a waste! There is so much to do and learn about in life. Stretch! Go for it and make yourself burst out of your comfort zone. You learn that way. You only grow by going through those things that help you to gain more. In my speaking and coaching business, I’ve learned about people, what they like, what they don’t like and how we are all pretty much the same on Planet Earth. Most of us just want to live in peace and not bother anybody or be bothered by anybody. For me, this traveling and learning is most important. You have to learn what is best for you. I challenge you, dear reader, to go beyond what is normal for you. Grow and stretch to achieve those things that are best for you. Make it happen. -121- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Potential Obstacles Remember that life is not easy. Success in life really is simple, but it is not easy. You have to do simple things that might be difficult. They will be painful in many cases. However, you have overcome them. One of the best ways to deal with those obstacles that are out there is to examine them head-on and face them. Sit down with a pad of paper or on your word processor and list all the obstacles that can get in the way of your goal. Think of all the things that you’re going to have to accomplish to achieve the goal you have and live your life the way you want it to be. For example, it might be that you realize you have to have a job that pays a given amount of money. Well, to get that level of money, you have to put forth extra value to the marketplace. You have to be worth more than you are now to get more than you are getting now. If you’re in sales, or own your own business, you’re in a really good position. You are able to go out and get a raise anytime you want one! You don’t have to ask anybody for a raise, you just go out into the real-world marketplace and provide extra value to the right people. You get a raise based on your own productivity and the value you generate for the market. Success is not measured by the position one has reached in life, rather by the obstacles overcome while trying to s ucceed - Booker T. Washington Take the responsibility of living your life into your own hands. This means you face the obstacles that are there and those that are potential and deal with them. Come up with strategies and plans to deal with each potential challenge as it exists. For instance, if you want to lose, say, 40 lbs., you have to have a strategy to make it happen. You can’t just wish it away. After all you didn’t acquire those 40 pounds overnight. -122- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles A first step might be to visit your doctor to get a complete, thorough physical. Get all fluid levels checked. Let them whack you on the knee, peek into your ear and make you say “Ah” with that terrible wood thingy (yeah, its called the tongue depressor but to me it is a “wood thingy”). Ask your doctor for a reasonable, medically sound plan to reduce the weight. Get diet information and exercise information that is prescribed for you. If you don’t do it through your medical doctor, you should consider some of the excellent services that are available that have helped millions to lose weight and get to their right condition. Once you have the plan laid out, think of the temptations you’ll face with trips to the movies, picnics, and parties with friends, etc. that can cause you problems. Think of how you’ll deal with each of these situations. If you’re offered something that is fattening and not part of your diet, you might decide to politely, but firmly, say, “No Thank you. Not today.” Then go over and have another bottle of clear, fresh, clean, refreshing water instead of that fat stuff. See the fat rolling off you. See it melting away. This is going to help you achieve the goals that you want, the way you want. Another obstacle you’ll face is the “why try” argument that comes when you’re a few weeks into the program. You don’t think you’re making as much progress as you should so you just give up. Deal with that obstacle and face it before it happens. Have a pre-written card answering that objection that you can read to yourself if that becomes an issue. Make it a point to meet regularly with supporters. Groups like Weight Watchers have a marvelous way of combining the social support group that is so necessary. People are there helping each other and cheering each other on to achieve their goals. Make a support group part of your strategy. Security can only be achieved through constant change, through discarding old ideas that have outlived their usefulness and adapting others to current facts. - William O. Douglas -123- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles See how attaining a goal can be fun, amidst the work? You’ll be able to accomplish what you want and still have fun if you plan for it and take the right steps. Remember that any worthwhile goal you undertake is going to have obstacles and hardships. You have to recognize these and deal with them. Many of them can be dealt with before you being. Address those potential obstacles and make sure they are dealt with. Dealing with the Unexpected On this planet, there are lots of unexpected things that come up and bite us. Ouch! This has been the norm throughout the human experience. It is the way things are today. And guess what? For the next 1,000 years there will be unexpected events happen. We can’t control the events. Things are going to happen that we didn’t plan for. However, we can control our reaction and how we’ll handle them. We can’t control the problems but we can prepare ourselves to be ready for whatever happens. How do we do that? By continually preparing. I’ve found that to live free in an unfree world requires being continually ready. That means constantly preparing mentally, physically and spiritually to handle whatever happens. The SEM Power Formula To live free in an unfree world means that you are better prepared for those unexpected events that come up – way before they come your way. Know this: you are going to face obstacles. You are going to be hit with things that you didn’t plan for. Emergencies WILL happen. Disasters WILL happen. It is just a matter of time. However, if you are prepared physically, mentally and spiritually, you’ll be able to handle whatever life dishes out with aplomb. You’ll be victorious because you stacked the odds in your favor way before the events occurred. You will be able to make a difference. -124- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Here is a formula that can help you the rest of your life; no matter what age you happen to be. It has helped successful people to achieve their goals and become the type of people they want to be. I call it my SEM Power Formula™. It really is quire simple, but, like many other things, it is not easy. It requires discipline and the determination to do it every day of your life. The S stands For Study Each day you have to strengthen and stretch your mind. Each day learn something new that will better your life and make you a better person. Each day you should read something of value. This can be a good book, a magazine or some great e-zines on the Internet. Go to www.terrybrock.com and click to sign up for my e-zine which is packed with ideas that you can use to build your business and improve your personal life. It’s free and a great way for us to stay in touch. It might be that some days you are so busy (can you relate to this?) that you feel you just don’t have time to read. Ah, those are the days when it matters the most. Successful people differ from the unsuccessful not by their desires. Both groups of people have similar desires to get ahead and accomplish certain things. However, the successful people are willing and actually do what is necessary to pay the price while the unsuccessful can list many reasons why they couldn’t do what is necessary. In today’s world, your brainpower and the actionable knowledge that you employ is power. You have to have a continually renewed powerful mind that is teeming with ideas. The only way this is going to happen is if you take the time, money and effort to make it happen. You have to get up 30 minutes earlier to read. You have to turn off that TV set to read. You have to give up some other activity in order to read. Discipline is the critical link between thinking and behavior. - Karen Boscaljon, M.S. Yes, it will be difficult sometimes. Yes, you’ll be swamped with lots of other things to do. However, -125- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles remember that in the moment when you don’t want to do it and your brain is feeding you lots of “excuses” as to why you can’t do it today, that is the moment when you have a chance to succeed and rise to the top. Think about what you’re willing to give up in order to feed your mind. Is it a TV show? Is it a little sleep? Read and program your mind with good quality information that helps you attain the goals you want. The E Stands For Exercise Physical exercise is vital for a healthy body. If you don’t like to exercise, I’m sorry. I didn’t make the rules. This is one of those laws of physics. Your body needs regular periods of three essential activities: 1) Stretching, 2) Muscle Strengthening and 3) Aerobic activity. Let’s look at each of these here. 1. Stretching. This means that you carefully stretch those muscles. Don’t force it or you can do serious damage. You would be best advised here to get help from someone who can assist you in learning what to do. I regularly practice touching my toes without bending my knees. I make it a point to sit on the floor with my legs outstretched. I slowly lean forward and grab the balls of my feet making my legs stretch out to their fullest. I then slowly lift my feet off the ground and hold that position for 30 seconds. This helps me to open up physically and I find the mental juices start flowing then also. Try stretching and get assistance where needed. 2. Muscle Strengthening. This is the fun part. I love doing push-ups and sit-ups. I find the pain is where I get my gain! How many pushups can you do? Check with medical professionals and health exercise professionals and find out how many you should do. I’m reminded of Richard Marcinko, a former U.S. Navy SEAL Captain who talks about doing 1,000 pushups and 1,000 sit-ups every day. WOW! I’m not up to that level (not yet, anyway). But think of the power you develop doing that. You will be ready for lots of unexpected things that can happen. Plus you’ll feel great about yourself. Lifting weights is another excellent way to build muscle. Get the advice you need, but make it happen. -126- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles 3. Aerobic Activity. This is where you do your walking (fast walking, not just strolling), jogging, running, swimming, cycling and other activities that make that heart beat faster. Yes, you will need to sweat and perspire. Sorry. That’s just the way it works. You want to get your heart rate up to the accepted level for your age. Make sure you get the cardio work done regularly. I like to walk/jog sometimes and then swim other days. Some days I like to ride my bicycle and other days my stationary cycle. Vary what you do so it stays fun and interesting. By regularly engaging in physical activity you’ll find that you feel better and perform better in life. You’ll be able to become more of the person that you want to be when you’re feeling good physically and in good shape. This is where you need a good coach. Your medical care professional can be a wonderful resource for you here. A physical therapist can help enormously. A membership at a local health club or Y Center can be one of your best investments. Come up with a varied and multi-faceted program that can work for you and keep your interest. You have to live in you body as your home while on this planet. You don’t get another one. Make the best of it. Be willing to endure some pain to become more of the person that you want to be. The M Is For Meditation The older I get the more I see the value in quiet thinking and reflecting. Medical benefits are profound for those that regularly take time to relax and be still. Many people find a source of strength from prayer. If that works for you, go for it. Some find transcendental meditation to work. Yoga is a powerful way of enjoying peace and accomplishing many physical and mental goals. My point here is not to tell you which method of meditation you have to do. My point is to encourage you to find the one that works for you and DO IT! Take time every day (yes, every day!) to meditate. Even 10 minutes can help you enormously. -127- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Many people find that 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the evening give them a perspective on life that is clear, focused and purposeful. This time for me, helps clear my mind, and focus on those things that matter the most. In the quiet time of meditation and relaxing you will find your strength. Benefits of the SEM Power Formula You will find that as you build SEM into your daily life that you become more of the person you want to be. It doesn’t happen immediately. It will take persistence and doing it day after day, no matter what happens. Some days you’re going to be so busy that you just won’t get it done. On those days, don’t beat yourself up, but encourage yourself to correct and go after it again the next day. You will find your body getting more toned. Your mind will be sharper. You will begin to get new insights that you wouldn’t have had otherwise. This is a powerful, life-changing concept that has resulted in many people getting their lives under control and being the people that they want to be. Embrace the SEM Power Formula and you’ll see things happen in your life like: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? More restful sleeping Weight control Increased insight into what is important in the world Increased knowledge of important information in your world Better business knowledge More relaxed approach to life Superior knowledge and information There are untold more benefits from using these principles. Try them and notice how your life improves and stretches to help you become more of the person that you want to be. -128- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Serving Others It is a paradox of life that we only get what we want when we help others attain what they want. This is one of those laws of life that can never change. No legislature or parliament in any nation can change this law. As you increase your worth and value that you have for others you will find you are able to attain what you want. As you’ve prepared yourself individually and personally with the SEM Power Formula™, you’ll be positioned to help others as never before. The service that you render to them will give you the income to achieve the monetary goals you have for yourself. Always think in terms of how you can help the other person achieve their goals and objectives. What problems are they encountering that you can eliminate and deal with? Follow the pain they are experiencing and figure out a way to vanquish that. You will then be able to succeed. If you apply these principles, you’ll find that you can live free in an unfree world. You’ll have the freedom to enjoy what is most important. You’ll be free from most of the diseases that afflict people. You’ll be free of the lack of knowledge that holds most people back from achieving their goals. You’ll have peace of mind in your life no matter what happens. This freedom leads to a life that is worth living. It is what makes life worthwhile. In giving to others, you will find yourself blessed. It's a universal law, you have to give before you get. You must plant your seeds before you reap any harvest. The more you sow, the more you will ultimately reap. The giver's harvest is always full. Be a giver. Everything worthwhile in life will come to you freely, when you learn to give as freely. Nature does not give to those who will not spend. -Unknown Author- -129- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Chapter 7 – Making Your Magic Happen We’ve come to the end of this adventure together. You and I have spent some time thinking about life in general and your life in particular. You know that you can achieve lots of things. Jon Rogers and Peter McWilliams said in their book, Do it “You can do anything. You just can’t do everything.” Here is a simple plan of action that can help you make your life what you want it to be: 1. Determine what it is you really want. This is the toughest part. It is also the part that keeps changing regularly. This is particularly true when you’re young and deciding what to do. In today’s world we change a lot because we have to. The Wall Street Journal ran an interesting story the other day about Norm Sprang. Norm is 60 years old and is starting over. Again. It seems that Norm, like many others today has been forced to adjust and change. Even at 60 he is not finished. The company he works for is going out of business. So, Norm has to adjust. This is typical in today’s world. We have to continually change and adjust. There is no stability. So, in the midst of this confusion and chaotic mess, you get a golden opportunity to be what you want. Hey, if one job really is terrible, you can change and get something much better. 13 But you have to decide what is right for you. You have to think carefully about what you really want to do and what brings you the most happiness. Oh yeah, you also have to find a way to make money doing it. See, you might enjoy sitting on the beach sucking down Pina Coladas but there aren’t many people that are willing to pay you to do that. With so many options available, it is difficult to decide the right thing to do for you. However, there is nothing more important that you, figuring out what is right for you in your life and making it happen. 13 New Job, New Tasks Proving Yourself Again, The Wall Street Journal, Wednesday, July 2, 2003, page B1. -130- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles 2. Calculate the cost of getting what you want. This cost is in terms of time, money and effort. Anything worthwhile is going to cost a lot of each of these to you. You are going to have to part with your capital to make things happen. You are going to have to invest in yourself, your continual education and your tools. Hire people that have the skills to teach you how to do what you need. That is what a college or university is all about. They have a collection of smart people that work there. These people are called professors. They have paid lots of time, money and effort themselves to get what they currently have. They have agreed to enter the workforce to help people like you and me improve ourselves. But we have to pay the price in terms of time, money and effort. You don’t have to go to college or a university only to get that education. In fact, you need to create your own university of learning. Create the environment around you to acquire the skills and resources you need. Attend seminars and conventions regularly in your areas of interest. Read lots of good magazines, books and special reports on areas that are of interest to you. Regularly read articles and ideas on the Internet. Know what is happening. You’ll also want to saturate your mind with quality learning material when you’re traveling. As Zig Ziglar said it, “When you’re riding, listen. When you’re sitting, read.” Always saturate your mind with quality, educational information that can help you get ahead and achieve your goals. Determine what the cost will be to get what you need. You’ll then be in a better position to make those things happen that are important to you. 3. Develop a burning white-hot desire to achieve your goals. This is going to be necessary. There are going to be lots of obstacles in the way as you proceed towards your goal. You’ll have too many times that are tough. However, if you have that burning desire to keep going no matter what, you’ll do what you have to do to make it happen. -131- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Different people are motivated by different things. For many a picture of a new car, just the kind they want, will be taped to the refrigerator door. Every day they see this object of desire and do whatever it takes to keep moving towards that goal. Some might have a goal of being a certain weight. They’ll put pictures of slim, trim and fit people on the refrigerator to help them achieve their goals. Others do what they do to overcome a current obstacle. It was Victor Frankel, M.D., who discussed this in his seminal work, Man’s Search For Meaning. As a Jewish Psychiatrist right before World War II, he saw the horrors of the socialistic Nazis (National Socialist Party, in Germany) as they trampled over the rights and lives of millions all in the name of doing things “for the common good.” Dr. Frankel suffered through both Dachau and Auschwitz, two of Hitler’s death camps. Frankel saw, up close, how some simply gave up thinking there was no reason to keep going. These despondent people soon died. No one can blame them for the choice they made in that situation. However, others kept going because they had a reason to keep going. That is the key. Some only had a reason to keep going so they could get back at the hated guards who brutalized and killed so many. Others had a reason to get back and see a loved one or accomplish a special task. Dr. Frankel’s work Man’s Search For Meaning is a classic about how human beings need a motivating, compelling reason to keep going, no matter what happens. This is a book that everyone should read at sometime in life. We have to remember what happened and never allow it to happen again. We also have to have a strong, compelling meaning that keeps us moving forward in life. You have to have a reason to keep going. This is what will fuel your fire. If you’ve lost that fire from earlier days, you owe it to yourself and to others to rekindle that flame. Think about what is most important and what you have done to let that flame flicker. Take the steps to make it happen. Find that reason to keep going and do it! -132- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles It was Somerset Maugham who said, “It is funny about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the very best you will very often get it.” Refuse to be stopped in your goal. Recommit to making your dream become a reality. 4. Take the first steps towards accomplishing your goal. You can’t do it all at once. The old Chinese saying that “The journey of a thousand leagues begins with a single step” is right. You have to take that initial step. Then take the next. Then the next. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. This is how progress is made. There’s an important psychological principle here that can help as you work towards those goals. It is called “chunking.” I’ve found that I can do lots of things if I try doing it a piece at a time. If I try to do everything all at once, I inevitably fail. However, by going at it a little bit at a time I can accomplish the task. Think how you can break the overall project and assignment into little “bite-sized chunks.” Getting a degree at a university does this process very well. You start with the basics of any discipline in your first few years. You gain a broad knowledge base of many different areas. Then you gradually and slowly proceed into more advanced level classes in your chosen area of discipline. Make your own “University of Me.” Call it the U of M. When I was a kid, I grew up in lower mid-Michigan. We were about 30 miles from the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor. I didn’t go there but now wish I did. However, I now create my own “U of M” which allows me to get just the education I want and take the classes I want. It is on-going and never stops. Create your own U of M and bring in (and pay for) the best instructors and professors you can find. Become the best at what you want to be. Take the steps towards your goal one at a time. This is the way to true mastery. 5. Get feedback and correct, as you need to. No one is perfect. You’re going to make mistakes. It’s part of being human. But that’s -133- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles all right if you get good feedback (this is where you get good “professors” from your very own “U of M.” When those mistakes come, don’t beat yourself up. This is a natural and understandable reaction. Instead, step back; think of what went wrong and how you can correct for the future. Get the help of your support system. Have people around you that can support and care for you, helping you to mend and grow. This is most important. Find what new skills and resources you’ll need to accomplish your task. Then bring those into your life in a way that supports you and helps you to achieve what is important to you. Locker Room Talk You and I have come to the end of our journey for today. We’re sitting here in the locker room and it is time for your coach, me, to give you some parting words before you head out to the field for today’s game. I’ve given you a lot of information. Some of it might be a bit difficult to handle right now. However, I ask you to think. Think about it. Critically think about all that I’ve said and all that you hear anyone say. You have to exercise your own mind and make your own decisions in life. You can’t sit back and ask someone else to do it for you. You get the glory and you take the blame. You can make your own magic. You have to do it. No one else can do it for you. As you practice the principles laid out here, you’ll find that it is easier as you practice. Stay with it and keep going. Let me know how you’re doing. You can send me e-mail, which is the best way to reach me as I bounce around the planet. You can reach me at [email protected] and I’ll get back as soon as I can. Now get out there on the field and make your own magic! -134- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Reference Section For Magic-Making Stuff Here are some good resources that can help you as you move through your own personal journey. Try these and let me know what you think. Books WOW! Where can I start? More importantly, where can I stop. There are literally thousands of great books out there. Here are some that I have found particularly beneficial to me. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. This novel changed more lives in the 20th Century and is still changing lives today. The battle of good and evil, right and wrong and how “men of the mind” take matters into their own hands to live freely. The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. This novel, turned into a movie in 1949 with Gary Cooper and Patricia O’Neal, sets the stage to live life by your own terms and not by what others say you should do. This is a must read. The movie is a must-see. Yeah, it’s black and white and old. However, see through that and grasp the message – particularly the courtroom scene towards the end of the movie. Anything written by Alan Weiss. Great ideas on business, speaking and consulting. The man is a genius. Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. This classic has changed the lives of millions. Learn how very successful people have made it and what you can do also. Classic how to succeed that is a must-read. How to Raise Your Own Salary by Napoleon Hill. This lessor-known work is one of his best. Hill interviews my hero, Andrew Carnegie, and gets realworld, nitty-gritty advice on how to success in a tough world. Priceless. Anything by Peter Drucker. This great thinker and management consultant is a national treasure. His works span several decades and presented some of the best thinking on not only business but how to live life. -135- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Human Action by Ludwig von Mises This book helped Mises win the Noble Prize in Economics in 1949. It helps to understand how life really is all about what he calls praxeology or human action. Very insightful. The Art of Worldly Wisdom by Balthasar Gracian. This book was written by a Jesuit priest from Spain back in the 16 th Century. Yet, its wisdom and practical real world advice ring true for us today. A Manual for Living by Epictetus. This Roman-era philosopher penned so many good sayings and wisdom it is difficult to digest it all. Read this over and over and you’ll find you gain much wisdom in life. The Demon-Haunted World by Carl Sagan. Carl was one of my heros. He chose to embrace science, not mysticism. His book lays out a clear guide to thinking and developing our critical thinking ability. The Road to Serfdom by F.A. Hayek. This classic in economic thought presents the case for freedom and liberty. Priceless information. The Lessons of History by Will and Ariel Durant. This easy-to-read book provides a concise summary of the great themes that can help us to understand our own world. As A Man Thinketh by James Allen. This is one to read annually. How you think and what you think will ultimately determine how your life is arranged. Change your thoughts and you’ll change your life. Dig Your Well Before You’re Thirsty by Harvey Mackay. Learn how to get along well with others and get what you need from others. This man knows his stuff and lays it out in this excellent work. Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankel. Read about the horros of Nazi concentration camps and how this brilliant Austrian psychiatrist survived the Holocaust. This is a must-read book for everyone at sometime in life. There are many other profound books. Check my website for new additions as they come about. I love books. They contain the wisdom of the ages and information we all need for our own life. -136- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Websites These change so often that putting them in a book is almost silly. To get updated information on great websites, check my website at www.terrybrock.com and you’ll see lots of references to get sources. If you have questions about a specific resource needed, please drop me an e-mail. DVD/Video Lots of good movies are out there. I find that movies and video learning tap into another part of our brain and help us to experience life as we would never do it before. Here are some of my personal favorites. If you’re near a video rental store or drop by your local library sometime, check and see if they are available and enjoy a good evening. Fiddler On the Roof – This has to be one of my favorites. You’ll run the gamut of human emotion and see life as it is for many through the ages. Ayn Rand, A Sense of Life. This video captures the life of America’s greatest philosophy and writer in the 20th Century. You might not agree with all she says, but you’ll gain enormously from learning what she lived through and how she approached life. The Rocky Series – Triumph of good over evil and importance of pressing on regardless The Blues Brothers – The original set back in the early 80’s is my favorite musical of all time. Patton – This Oscar-winning film from 1970 shows a capsule of how one man courageously led an army against fierce opposition. Good principles for living your own life. Independence Day – Science fiction and a great escape for a few hours. Fun to watch the good guys win! -137- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles The Star Trek Movies – Yeah, I’m a real Trekkie and love the principles of the television shows and the movies. My favorites? Hard to say but Star Trek II, IV and all with the Next Generation rank at the top for me. How The West Was Won – classic from the early 60’s shows the struggles and triumphs of early America. Not only do you learn about history but you’ll laugh, cry and cheer along the way. What a good movie is supposed to do! Places Ya Just Gotta Visit Sometime in Life! New York City. This place really never sleeps. Having a weekend or business trip to NYC is something that everyone should experience at least once, if not many, many more times in life. Las Vegas, Nevada. What a great place! You can do just about anything you want there. You can even smell the freedom in the air. Even if you don’t like gambling, this is a city teeming with excitement. Sydney, Australia. This has got to be one of the most picturesque cities in the world. Prices are reasonable (for those with American dollars), the people are some of the best in the world and I love it every time I get a chance to visit. Tokyo, Japan (be sure to see Shinjuku and Akihabara for all the cool electronics!) Los Angeles, California. This city has its problems but at the heart of the city is a teeming atmosphere that is energized and full of life and excitement. Be sure to check out Venice Beach and see the fun lifestyle there. Orlando, Florida (my town! Disney Word for kids of all ages is a must-see) South Florida (Palm Beach south through South Beach in Miami) I love the energy and excitement here. Be sure to see South Beach and experience all the different cultures and various kinds of people. It is a sight like none other on the planet. Moscow, Russia (dramatic changes going on now. Stand in Red Square and absorb the magnitude of what has happened throughout history in that place) -138- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles London, England (great fish n’ chips. Get the fish n’ chips with mushy peas and be sure to order “a pint.” ) Fukuoka, Japan (In Southern Japan, this capital city is teeming with energy and life and has some of the best sushi in the world!) -139- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles My Personal Articles For You Here are some additional resources for you, some of my columns that have received a lot of positive feedback. Hope you enjoy them! Push Through The Pain – The Key To Success By Terry L. Brock “Look at a stone cutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not the last blow that did it, but all that had gone before.” Jacob A. Riis, 1849-1914 This morning it was especially nice here in Orlando. I love these summer mornings when it is quiet and cool outside. I particularly like getting up early to get more done. Today I was going through my morning routine of studying, meditation and exercise. When it came to my push-ups I was doing my normal set and then had the idea to push just a bit harder. You’ve been there, I’m sure. You go through the normal stuff you have to do in life and you do OK. That’s about a B of B- performance level. You don’t get fired for it. You don’t make any more sales, but you do just enough to get by. While I was doing my push-ups and nearing my mark that I aim for in each set, I had the idea to push just a bit harder and do 10 extra. You’ve heard all about that “No Pain, No Gain” that we see in the gym. Yet, this morning, I was thinking that this could be especially good to push a little farther. And guess what happened? In a split second that voice came into my head (you’ve heard it before) that said, “Oh no. You can’t push any farther. If you do, you’ll be sore, you’ll fall down, you won’t make it, etc. etc.” You know the voice. It’s that one inside your head that stops you from getting what you really want. It was Orison Swett Marden, the Founder of Success Magazine who lived from 18501924 who said, “Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up our minds to walk boldly through them.” Well, he was right. So, as I was doing those push-ups, I told that negative voice to “Shut up.” I didn’t say it loudly because I was about out of breath! However, I said it where it matters most – in my mind. I was going to do those extra 10 push-ups no matter what. -140- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles My arms were hurting. My chest was hurting. Everything in me was screaming to stop and just quit, but my spirit inside said to keep going, no matter what. Well, you know what happened? I made it through the extra 10 push-ups and felt victorious! When I finished the pain that I felt was not too bad. It only lasted for a couple of seconds and then went away. What didn’t go away was the thrill of knowing that I had pushed through the pain. I had done something that was good for me and very instructional. Well, after I finished with my morning exercises I had some time of quiet thinking and reflection. I like to do this after working out just to relax, think about the day ahead and focus my thinking on what’s important for the upcoming day’s tasks and for life in general. I thought about that little exercise of doing the extra 10. Many things happen like that in life. If we just push beyond the pain we can accomplish a great deal. Yes, the pain is there but as long as it is not an injury, where you seriously will need to stop and possibly get professional help, the little extra pain is actually good for you. What about that sales call that you know you should make but just keep putting it off? You’ve let the imagined pain in your mind hold you back. Blast through it by getting the necessary information that is going to b e different from what you’ve done in the past and highly valuable and useful (very important!) to your prospect. Rather than just calling to ask if they’re still thinking about it (yeah, right!), send them something that will be of value to them. Even if they don’t respond right away, you’re helping to move the sale along and helping yourself to be more creative. The skills you learn will be highly beneficial for the next prospect you encounter. What about that challenge with a relationship you have? Push through the pain. Recognize that anything worthwhile in life is going to require effort and work. Stay with it and don’t give up too soon. So, here’s my challenge to you: Find something in your life where you see yourself doing a B- or B performance and you know you could hit an A or A+ level. It might be in your physical workout. It might be in your number of sales calls. Whatever it is for you, find that important area where you can make a difference. Then set that stretch goal. Find the goal that is “within sight but out of reach” as Denis Waitley talks about. Don’t try to do 100 extra push- ups. That would be too much. You’d probably not make it and be discouraged that you missed it. However, the 10 little extra push- ups from your normal set can empower you. Remember the pain is going to be there. Expect it. Welcome it. -141- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Then use that pain as a learning tool and a personal empowerment tool to reach a greater goal that is meaningful and worthwhile for you. By being what I call “smart persistent” you achieve new goals. Even better, you push yourself to a higher level to bring out the best you can be. Smart persistent means you adjust and correct with feedback. You use your head and get help when needed. You achieve the goals that are best for you. Thomas Fuller said in the 1600’s, “An invincible determination can accomplish almost anything and in this lies the great distinction between great men and little men.” Today, we know this principle applies equally to men and women, boys and girls. Develop your own invincible determination to accomplish your worthwhile goals. Find one area in your life today where you can push through. You’ll be amazed at what can happen as you’re “smart persistent.’ Terry Brock is an internationally recognized professional speaker, consultant and author in the fields of business productivity, technology and marketing. He is a syndicated columnist for Biz Journals across America and can be reached at 407-363-0505 , by email at [email protected] or through his website at www.terrybrock.com Copyright © 2003, Terry Brock, All Rights Reserved Internationally. No portion may be reprinted or used in any way without prior written permission. Permission granted to Biz Journals to use in regular publication. -142- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Get What You Want in Business and Life By Terry L. Brock Want to get more in life? Want to have more of the things you want? Here is the simple (but not easy) process: Zig Ziglar was right that you can get anything you want if you help enough other people get what they want. However, the real crux of the matter is “How do you help enough other people?” What do you do to help them? What value can you provide for them that they are willing to pay you serious money? That is where you have to be prepared. Zig would be the first to tell you that blind enthusiasm by itself will get your nowhere. It is nice to feel good for a while, but eventually we have to produce. We have to have something of lasting significance that will help us to achieve what we need. So what are the steps to help others and by that help you? Ayn Rand, the 20th Century philosopher and author of books such as Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead had it right. We can help others by first helping ourselves. Her philosophy was one of empowering the individual. You succeed in life to the level that you think and create excellence in your life. Here’s a simple process that can help as you reach for greatness and the things that are most important in your life. 1. Commit to being the best. You have to pay the price. Vince Lombardi, Sr. told us that being the best means paying the price. Anyone can do the push-ups and the sit-ups when it is easy. But the real winners, the real champions in life are those that do what needs to be done, especially when it is hard. That means getting up early, before the sun rises, when its cold outside, when it’s too hot, when its raining, when you just flat don’t feel like doing it---and doing it! This is paying the price and you have to commit to it. 2. See the vision you want. You have to see the goal. It has to be real in your mind. It has to be something that you can see, taste, feel, hear and smell. You have to have vivid, rich details of what that goal will be like. Is your goal to have your children educated? See them graduating with honors. Is the goal to pay off your debts and be free of financial encumbrances? See what your life will be like when that is accomplished. Is your goal a better body that is fit, slim and trim? Paint a vivid picture of that as the first step to attain it. 3. Determine the cost. Find out what it is going to take to achieve your goal. If you want to become a medical doctor, you have a long road ahead, but it is worth -143- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. it if that is your goal. Get outside help and expertise because none of us is as smart as all of us. Determine what course of action you’ll have to take. Constantly acquire new skills. We’re in a world where things change very fast. To just stay even you have to continually pour rich new ideas into your head. You get these best through readying, studying, listening to quality instructional audios, attending lectures and seminars, hanging around successful people and never giving up. It is never-ending. Too many people look on education as if it were an inoculation. You’ll hear losers say things like, “Oh, I took that in school and don’t need it anymore.” Education is on going and never stops. Reading a minimum of a book a week is one of the components I regularly hear from outstanding people. Make it a point to stretch your mind with new material in some way every day. Find what others want. You might be an expert in areas that are nice, but if there is no demand for that, you’ll have a hard time in the marketplace. You have to provide what people want. To get the things you want, you have to study and constantly look for what others want. This requires constant, never-ending devotion to helping them achieve their goals. Work to make people want to be around you. The more you can make other people happy and feel good around you, the more they’ll want to be around you and buy your ideas, your concepts, your services and your products. Laughter and humor are great tools for opening up relationships. This doesn’t mean telling a bunch of jokes. It doesn’t mean being silly either. It means making a serious business of studying funny. Learn it and use it. Humor is one of the most powerful tools you’ll have on your side to achieve your goals in life. Anticipate Their Needs. This is what Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer did. They created products that people would need. In the late 70’s you didn’t see a lot of people running around asking for an operating system. Yet, slowly and persistently the folks at Microsoft created, improved, had setbacks, improved, failed, improved and kept learning to make what they had better. They anticipated that everyone would have a computer on their desk to accomplish everyday tasks. The rest is history. Think about what your customers will want, even if they’re not asking for it yet. Be prepared to have some setbacks, but more importantly, be prepared to learn from your experiences. Grow Rhinoceros skin. Anyone in sales (and that is all of us!) knows that the world is not a very nice place. People can be rude. They don’t return phone calls. They take advantage of you. Hey, welcome to my planet! This is the way it works here. You have to be tougher than all that. The best sales trainers tell us to not take rejection personally. Step back from it all and smile thanking the person for educating you. Even if someone is rude, you have learned some lessons. You’ve learned to watch out for that person. You’ve learned that maybe they are just having a bad day. You’ve learned that you are better than that and don’t have to succumb to their problems. This is being smart. John Wayne said it well, “Life is tough. Life is tougher if you’re stupid.” Remember Eric Idle’s words. You might remember one of the actors in the British troupe Monty Python who wrote a song:, “Always Look On the Bright Side of Life. “ It was a hit a few years ago and is a classic. Sing a few bars of that -144- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles song and you can’t help to put things in to perspective, smile and enjoy. Life is too danged short as it is. Enjoy the process. Enjoy the journey. Recently, a very good friend and professional speaker colleague passed away. Pat Vivo was an outstanding lady who demonstrated caring, compassion and passion. Last night I spoke with one of her sons and he told me that her philosophy of life was very simple, yet profound. Everyday we should do three things: 1) Laugh, 2) Think, 3) Cry. I think that sums up living the good life and getting what we want. In business and in life the formula is simple. You’ve probably seen these before. However, it is not easy. It takes diligence and work every day. You can never give up. Develop your vision and stay with it. You’ll find that it is the best way to live and the best way to get ahead. As Eric Idle sang, “If life seems jolly rotten, there’s something you’ve forgotten. And that’s to laugh and smile and dance and sing.” Being in a positive state of mind attracts others to you and that helps you to achieve your goals both in business and in life. Time for Change; Time for Smart Persistence By Terry L. Brock “This is no time for ease and comfort. It is the time to dare and endure.” Winston Churchill It is a time of change. Many small business owners and mobile professionals are seeing that the old models of what worked before are crumbling today. They are not valid for today’s world. In High Tech, the realization is slowly settling in Silicon Valley like the fog enveloping the Bay Area that times are really, really different. It is not just a matter of sitting this one out with a couple of lattes until it returns and everything is like it used to be. Instead we are seeing fundamental changes in society and what works in business. Even what was new and cool just recently is no longer in vogue in marketing. A couple of years ago e- mail marketing was touted as the way to make millions. “You can send out millions of e- mail messages [many have done that] at no cost and reach masses on the Interne,” they would claim. What they forgot about was a law that hasn’t been repealed, the Law of Supply and Demand. With all that e- mail out there and being inundated with it, most e- mail messages have been relegated to the bins of “junk” and the mentality has shifted. That mentality is the thinking of your target market and buyers. -145- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles It is a time for change. We have to think fresh thoughts. We have to adapt and be different. Yet, at the same time, it is time also for what I call “smart persistence.” I define smart persistence and the willingness to diligently pursue a noble goal while adjusting our tactics and direction based on intelligent feedback, changes in the environment and new infor mation becoming available. If you’re banging your head against a wall, and your objective is to break through the wall, maybe you should consider a new technology called a hammer! Continue with your mission but change tactics in a smart way. George Leonard wrote a powerful book a few years ago entitled Mastery. In it he makes the case for staying the course and doing what you know you need to do, even when you don’t see massive progress. He says that we have to enjoy the plateau. Those are the areas where you’re doing what you need to do, in an exercise program, for instance, and yet don’t see real substantial progress right away. Sometimes you even see some slippage as reality sets in. It is in those real- world moments where mastery comes into play. You keep doing what you know you need to do, even if you’re tired, worn out and just don’t feel like doing it. You keep doing the push-ups and sit-ups even when your body is whining and complaining that its “too early” or “I don’t feel like it” or other pathetic moaning. Couple this with smart persistence where you don’t push through if you have sustained an injury. Use your head for thinking, not bashing walls! This means getting help and feedback not only as you perceive it from the environment but from others around you and, at times, from competent professionals. How does that translate into marketing? Right now is a golden moment to seize the day. Many economists are pointing to a recovery and seeing changes in a positive direction by the end of this year and first part of next year. Be ready for that surge in growth. Now is the time to have a regular e- mail newsletter that provides real value and solves the problems that your target market is facing. Real value is the key term. We want substance, not glitter. A good example of that would be the phenomenal growth of Blogs or Web Logs. In contrast to flashy websites that deliver lots of glitter and little substance, Blogs have to have content to be noticed. The content of a Blog comes from words and ideas, not flash. Every small business should have a Blog today for customers. I’ve recently added audio to my Blog, which you can experience and see how it applies to your business. Go to http://yoursuccess.blogspot.com and click on the audio icons you’ll see. These are audio messages delivered over the Net to computers that can play audio files (most computers today). You create the message via a phone call. For $3.00/month -146- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles you can have 12 2- minute messages to provide powerful, relevant information to your target market. Check out www.audblog.com to blend this into your marketing campaign. This is not flashy and elaborate. To use it you need to have a touch-tone phone and know how to speak. It is that simple. In an age of confusion and clutter (think too much e-mail) simple and compelling ideas win the day. Here are some simple, yet powerful marketing ideas every small business can employ today for great results now and in the future: 1. Have an e-zine. This is your e- mail newsletter that helps you stay in touch with customers who want (key point) to stay in touch with you. Answer their questions and provide solid, real- world answers. 2. Use postcards. I’m continually amazed at the power of a hand-written postcard. It is personal. It is economical. It can’t be thrown away without reading it. It stands out. Get a stack and experiment. You’ll see amazing results. 3. Letters. Remember those old things? Yeah, the first-class mail letter gets attention and can deliver your message clearly. When most of your competition is using e- mail, letters can target the need of customers and make a difference. 4. Phone calls. A short, personal phone call that answers questions and provides relevant information is always welcome. As I’ve traveled around the world in different cultures speaking and consulting, I’ve noticed a common thread among very successful millionaires, regardless of the culture: They use phones a lot. They talk to a lot of people. Stay in touch. A quick “How ya doin?” call can yield enormous benefits. 5. Personal Visits. In an age of e- mail and technology the value of a face-to-face, “I’m really here” visit makes a huge difference. Be there for important trade shows. Be there for client visits. Make it a point to schedule face-to- face visits when you’re visiting a distant city. It will make a difference. Now is a time for change. It is also a time to be smart in our persistence of doing what we know is right. The payoffs will come as we persist in a smart way. Terry Brock is an internationally recognized professional speaker, consultant and author in the fields of business productivity, technology and marketing. He is a syndicated Columnist for Biz Journals across America and can be reached at 407-363-0505 , by email at [email protected] or through his website at www.terrybrock.com -147- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles Personal Power Outage – How to Avoid It By Terry L. Brock This past week we saw the power go out in much of the Eastern United States. I was in Michigan and experienced some of it. The small country town where I was experienced 30 seconds of no power but then it roared back on only to provide television coverage of the blackout around the country. Personal Power Outage What can you do to avoid a personal power outage? Without the energy and drive to maintain your personal stamina and health, your business will surely suffer. You need to have lots of energy to succeed in today’s highly competitive world. James Loehr and Tony Schwartz discuss this in their new book, The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal. In that work they cite numerous examples of how, what they call “corporate athletes” perform better when applying the principles of professional athletes. One of the key principles is to think like a sprinter, not a marathon runner. Go in spurts and have plenty of renewal and refreshing time in between to rebuild. Push hard and fast for a limited period of time and have abundant, healing times in between to rejuvenate. You have to create lots of ways to rejuvenate your power. Life is a regular drain on our resources in many ways. You have demands at work. You have demands at home. You have demands in many areas of your life and all these demands create a strain on your personal resources and ability to respond optimally. It is vital to renew yourself regularly and in a smart way to not only remain competitive but to thrive in today’s world. Here are some key ways to avoid a personal power outage: 1. Devote resources to maintaining your optimal energy levels. What is more important than your physical and mental health? I can’t think of anything. If you don’t have your health, you can’t operate fully in business, with your family, in your personal goals, in your chosen spiritual area or other areas. Devote the time, money and effort to maintaining optimal physical and mental health. 2. Take time to renew yourself. Quiet thinking and relaxation are vital components in the self-renewal business. Yes, this means taking that vacation (sorry, workaholics. You really do better after a break!). It also means taking many mini-vacations or an extended weekend, a special evening, even a longer lunch. 3. Have a mission bigger than yourself. We have to have something bigger than ourselves to keep us going. What is the overall purpose of why you’re doing what -148- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles 4. 5. 6. 7. you’re doing? What is it that keeps you going? Find that mission and keep it always in mind. Renew yourself mentally reading a book a week. Many professionals find that a book a week stimulates their mind and helps to add fresh, new resources to their capacity. It is also a part of renewal as you learn about different areas of life. Don’t just read from your chosen field. Read from a variety of areas to see life from the perspective of others. Reme mber that fresh unusual ideas (the kind that help you succeed in today’s world!) usually come from different sources than those to which you normally exposed. Have spiritual (value -based) ways to renew your energy and drive. Nathaniel Brandon defines spiritual as the values that we hold dear. Each person is unique so you have to find what it is that works for you. These spiritual values will help you create meaning and be the person you want to be. Work hard when working, rest well when resting . Whatever you’re doing, do that activity well and without hesitation. Be in the moment and focus. I love the way my hero, Andrew Carnegie said it, “Work hard, play hard, sleep well.” Good philosophy! Keep renewing as long as you’re alive. This is a life-long process. Build renewal and regeneration into your lifestyle. As your needs change throughout life, you’ll want to try alternate forms of renewal and rejuvenation. You can push for a short period of time, but you have to have times of refreshing and renewal. We were made acutely aware of the importance of energy during the past power outage. Successful people learn from those kinds of experiences that we have to have backups and renewal plans in place. This creates winners and it will sustain you through what is to come in the future. Terry Brock is an internationally recognized professional speaker, consultant and author in the fields of business productivity, technology and marketing. He is a syndicated Columnist for Biz Journals across America and can be reached at 407-363-0505 , by email at [email protected] or through his website at www.terrybrock.com Copyright © 2003, Terry Brock, All Rights Reserved Internationally. No portion may be reprinted or used in any way without prior written permission. Permission granted to Biz Journals to use in regular publication. This article is never sent without you wanting to get it. If for any reason yo u want to be removed from the list, just drop us a note and let us know. We don't want to bother you. But hey, I want to keep you around so let me know if there is anything I can do to keep you. -149- Make Your Own Magic: Make Your Own Miracles General George Patton’s 10 Leadership Principles 1. By physically fit, spiritually strong 2. Acquire professional expertise 3. Lead by example 4. Cultivate influential friends 5. Go for the jugular 6. Communicate well 7. Select capable, loyal subordinates 8. Publicize your accomplishments 9. Know your competition 10. Be audacious Still, Richard J., Patton’s Ten Leadership Principles: Personal Observations. Fall, 1990 -150-