You? Child Does A

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Does a child wait for you? Children around the world wait for adoptive families. Holt International has children: • with minor or correctible medical conditions • who are older • who are siblings Consider a waiting child; www.holtinternational.org/waitingchild/photolisting finding families for children Help connect a waiting child with a family. Download and print our waiting child poster using the above link and display it at your church or place of work. Dear Readers Billy Goodwin, a member of the NewSong band, recently met his sponsored child for the first time at an orphanage in Shang Gao, China. Holding her up and drawing the little infant close, he spoke to her with animated facial expressions. She stared back with eyes-wide-open, eyebrows-raised wonder and surprise as if to say, “Who is this bearded foreigner who comes to pick me up?” I recorded the scene with a video camera, and that footage never fails to evoke a chuckle from those who see it. You can tell a lot about people by the way they interact with children. And you could tell by this brief scene that here was a person who valued this little life enough to come to her level, make a connection and try to bring a smile to her face. Winter 2007 vol. 49 no. 1 Holt International Children’s Services P.O. Box 2880 (1195 City View) Eugene, OR 97402 Ph: 541/687.2202 Fax: 541/683.6175 Our Mission Holt International is dedicated to carrying out God’s plan for every child to have a permanent, loving family. It was gratifying observing the members of NewSong and their wives as they visited with children and got to know the people who care for them. There was a true connection of passion to help the children, a mutual devotion to the children’s health, development and ultimate union with permanent families. In 1955 Harry and Bertha Holt responded to the conviction that God had called them to help children left homeless by the Korean War. Though it took an act of the U.S. Congress, the Holts adopted eight of those children. But they were moved by the desperate plight of other orphaned children in Korea and other countries as well, so they founded Holt International Children’s Services in order to unite homeless children with families who would love them as their own. Today Holt International serves children and families in Bulgaria, Cambodia, China, Guatemala, Haiti, India, Kazakhstan, Korea, Mongolia, the Philippines, Romania, Thailand, the United States, Uganda, Ukraine and Vietnam. In recent years several Christian music groups have been telling their audiences about the mission of Holt International. As a result, many people have become child sponsors joining Holt in efforts to help orphaned, abandoned and vulnerable children. NewSong in particular has brought Holt’s message to thousands of people. President & Ceo Gary N. Gamer Vice-President of Programs & Services Carole Stiles Vice-President of Marketing & Development Phillip A. Littleton Vice-President of Public Policy & Advocacy Susan Soon-keum Cox Vice-President of Finance & Administration Kevin Sweeney For most of Holt’s history, the majority of Holt supporters have been connected to Holt through adoption—as parents, adoptees, relatives or friends of adoptive families. NewSong and other Christian artists are a growing new branch of the Holt family. It’s marvelous to see that the growing Holt family continues to be united by a belief in the priceless value of each and every child, a love and compassion for children around the world. Board of Directors Chair Kim S. Brown Vice-Chair Will C. Dantzler President Emeritus Dr. David H. Kim Secretary Claire A. Noland Members Andrew R. Bailey, Julia K. Banta, James D. Barfoot, Rebecca C. Brandt, Dean Bruns, Wilma R. Cheney, Clinton C. Cottrell, Cynthia G. Davis, A. Paul Disdier, Rosser B. Edwards, Kim A. Hanson, Joseph P. Matturro, Jeffrey B. Saddington, Richard J. Salko, Shirley M. Stewart, Steven G. Stirling —John Aeby, Editor Editor John Aeby Managing Editor Alice Evans Graphics Brian Campbell, Alice Evans, Emily Lewellen contents TEARS THAT CAN’T BE CRIED NewSong in China Subscription Orders/Inquiries and Address Changes Send all editorial correspondence and changes of address to Holt International magazine, Holt International, P.O. Box 2880, Eugene, OR 97402. We ask for an annual donation of $20 to cover the cost of publication and mailing inside the United States and $40 outside the United States. Holt welcomes the contribution of letters and articles for publication, but assumes no responsibility for return of letters, manuscripts, or photos. 6 Holt’s Christian artists visit orphanages and family centers in China. Celebrating the Past, Charting the Future Images from Holt’s conference Reprint Information Permission from Holt International is required prior to reprinting any portion of Holt International magazine. Please direct reprint requests to editor John Aeby at 541/687.2202 or [email protected]. Building Memories Journeys to Korea Update Around the Globe Waiting Child Family Tree From the Family Neighborhood Calendar Cover: At Shang Rao, a baby rests in a wooden box. Midwest Office Serving Iowa, Nebraska and South Dakota 10685 Bedford Ave., Suite 300, Omaha, NE 68134 Ph: 402/934.5031 Fax: 402/934.5034 26 Missouri Office/Kansas Office 203 Huntington Rd., Kansas City, MO 64113 Ph: 816/822.2169 Fax: 816/523.8379 122 W. 5th St., Garnett, KS 66032 [email protected] 28 Oregon Office Capitol Plaza 9320 SW Barbur Blvd., Suite 220, Portland, OR 97219 Ph: 503/244.2440 Fax: 503/245.2498 A new board member rediscovers the land of her birth. departments California Office 3807 Pasadena Ave., Suite 115, Sacramento, CA 95821 Ph: 916/487.4658 Fax: 916/487.7068 How to keep a lifebook or journal. adoptees today Arkansas Office 25 Whispering Drive, Edgemont, AR 72044 Ph/Fax: 501/723.4444 10 After 50 years of finding families for children, Holt celebrates by looking for better ways to help the world’s most vulnerable. adopting Holt International Magazine is published bimonthly by Holt International Children’s Services, Inc., a nonprofit Christian child welfare organization. While Holt International is responsible for the content of Holt International magazine, the viewpoints expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of the organization. New Jersey Office 340 Scotch Rd. (2nd Floor), Trenton, NJ 08628 Ph: 609/882.4972 Fax: 609/883.2398 4 12 14 16 18 30 Copyright ©2007 By Holt International Children’s Services, Inc. ISSN 1047-7640 ACCREDITED BY COUNCIL ON ACCREDITATION www.holtinternational.org 3 update Graduate Photos Deadline for photos of Holt adoptees who are graduating from high school and college is June 1. Short stories from families about their graduate are also welcome. Go to holtinternational.org/gradsubmissions for the Graduate Submission Form. Calendar Photos Deadline for calendar photos is July 15. 2006 Korea Gift Team members Lynlee Young, left, and Nikki Dunham visit Jin-kyoo at the Holt Ilsan Center. Gift Teams Teams of volunteers recently took gifts to children at orphanages in Korea and the Philippines. While visiting a home for unwed mothers in the Philippines, a young single mother said to members of the gift team: “We are told that God loves us and we have worth, but I didn’t believe it until you came.” Nikki Dunham, a 14-year-old adoptee who traveled on the gift team to Korea, reported she had trouble sleeping after her return because she missed team members so much. “Handing out gifts and dancing with the kids at Ilsan, you feel so good about yourself,” she said. Eugene Declaration Visit the Holt website to read and sign this declaration—“Every child has the need and a right to grow up in a family.” (Presented at the International Conference: Looking Forward, A Global Response for Homeless Children sponsored by Holt International Children’s Services). Wanted: Your Photos & Stories For E-News, Holt International magazine, Bridge of Love and China Moon newsletter, we welcome stories from adoptees and their families about their experiences with adoption. We also welcome stories from sponsors about the significance and commitment of sponsorship. Please query [email protected]. 4 Winter 2007 Please upload your digital images (set your camera at 3 megapixels or higher) to holtinternational.org/submissions or mail glossy prints 4 x 6 to 11 x 14 to Calendar Photos, Holt International, P.O. Box 2880, Eugene, OR 97402. We cannot use studio photographs (except for graduate photos) or inkjet or digital prints. companies. Never does a day go by that I don’t stop to think about my purpose in life and why I was so miraculously saved by complete strangers,” he says. “I want to share my story and how God has given my life meaning and vision. They say that a person’s story is their strongest testimony, so here is my story. A story of hope!” The video is available for viewing on Deardorff’s personal website at mystorykim.com under the Movie tab. PIP Curriculum The updated Parents in Process™ (PIP) curriculum became available in January. Holt created the curriculum in 2001 to provide prospective adoptive parents with information about key issues related to international adoption. For more information about purchasing the PIP curriculum, contact Lisa Vertulfo at [email protected]. HBV Guidelines Revised treatment guidelines for the management of chronic hepatitis B virus infection in the United States are available at the HBF website at www.hepb.org/pdf/treatmentalgorithm_update.pdf. The guidelines were developed by a panel of U.S. liver specialists. Adoptee’s Story “Found in the garbage as a baby over 40 years ago in Seoul, South Korea, I have been living a miraculous life ever since,” says adoptee Kim Deardorff on his website. Holt took Deardorff into care and later placed him with a U.S. couple that came to Korea while the documentary Korean Legacy was being filmed. He used Korean Legacy footage in My Story, a video about his experience. Now a sound engineer, pianist and awardwinning composer, Kim operates a recording studio and has worked with Disney, the Discovery Channel, Universal Studios, the Kennedy Space Center, and other Bertha Holt, left, with Myrtle Croy at the Creswell office in the early years of Holt International. In Memory Myrtle Croy, the second person hired in the United States by Harry and Bertha Holt, passed away October 4 at the age of 100. Mrs. Croy worked for Holt International from the late 1950s until 1976, helping to develop Holt’s adoption work. She was the mother of an adopted daughter from Korea, Alice McCune of Tacoma, Wash. Granddaughter Maria Copelan remembers that Mrs. Croy traveled the nation in her baby blue VW bug checking on the children and their families, and that she prayed for them regularly. Korean adoptee Stephen Nelson recalls Mrs. Croy as the “angel” who helped him find a family in 1959, cooked for him when he visited, and joined him in intercessory prayer for his son when she was 99. “I could not imagine not having her to call and talk to, or living without her prayers for me and my family,” he wrote for her memorial. ■ directions The Seeds of Hope, 50 Years Later by Gary N. Gamer, President and CEO A At the conclusion of Holt’s 50th Anniversary Global Conference in October, attendees became transfixed while listening to the stories being told by panels of adoptees and their families. As one listener, I felt privileged to be able to join in the laughter, tears and incredible life journeys that were a most fitting testament to the work Harry and Bertha Holt started some five decades past. As I reflect on this experience, I think of the parable of the mustard seed. Jesus said, as found in the gospel of Matthew (13:31), “though it is the smallest of all your seeds, when it grows, it is the largest of the garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and perch in its branches.” Children who have crises in their lives—due to separation from parents and falling outside of family care—face incredible challenges. Often forgotten and all but invisible, they are without advocates to give them the chance to live satisfying lives. If given the opportunity, children are amazingly resilient. Like the mustard seed, they can flourish under the right conditions. This nurturing of children begins on the front lines of Holt’s mission in what are often very trying circumstances. We bring vulnerable children into care, ensuring stable health and developing plans for their future. As soon as possible, families take over, providing unconditional love and parenting support that all children require and deserve. Through 50 years of work Holt staff, partners, adoptive families, sponsors and other supporters have ensured that more than 100,000 vulnerable children are now in permanent, loving families. These successes have occurred through adoption, and by strengthening families in crisis so that they are better able to care for children at risk of falling out of their care. The adoptee panels vividly portrayed the seeds of hope that the Holts planted a half century ago. We heard middle school youngsters Spencer Latarski and Jade Chow speak with maturity well beyond their years. They spoke as global citizens with pride in their birth, U.S. and adoptee cultures. And they spoke about the importance of helping other children in need. As the adult adoptees described their experiences, the rich garden of their lives became evident: artists, child welfare advocates, researchers, homemakers, entrepreneurs and federal prosecutors…. One such speaker was Mr. Kim Brown. Recently selected as the Chair of Holt’s Board of Directors, he is the first adoptee to assume this position. Kim was adopted from Korea in 1956, the founding year of Holt as an organization. Raised in a loving family in Omaha, he was a soccer star in college and has had a successful career in mortgage banking. As Kim spoke, we heard of his faithful passion in life, that of helping to provide similar opportunities as those he enjoyed through the love and support of family. Kim and his wife, Lori, are adoptive parents of children Kyle and Maci, also from Korea. I know that Kim will be an encouragement for many adoptees and others to support Holt’s global role in finding families for children. Three members of Holt International’s Board of Directors enjoy the opening of an exhibit by Korean artist Jung, Dojun at the University of Oregon Museum of Art. From left: Kim Brown, the first adoptee to serve as Chair of Holt’s Board; Will Dantzler, adoptee and Vice-Chair; and Steve Stirling, also an adoptee. The reception for the artist was timed to honor the 50th anniversary of Holt International. In a wonderful way, Kim completes our 50th anniversary parable of the mustard seed. As Holt’s Board Chair, he will provide leadership so that tens of thousands of additional children can be assisted by Holt International into the future… that the smallest of seeds are nurtured in the garden and become a tree… “so that the birds of the air come and perch in its branches.” www.holtinternational.org 5 The Christian music group, NewSong, has been telling their audiences about the needs of children in Holt’s care, and last November band members traveled to see the work for themselves. Adapted from portions of Drew Cline’s trip journal I Tears That I’ve got to be honest about a couple of things here: first, I was pretty tired from our work schedule, and I wasn’t looking forward to being gone another week. We had been extra busy preparing for our Christmas tour, doing concerts, and so taking a trip to China with Holt International didn’t seem as appealing as taking a week off with my wife, Lori—then seven months pregnant. Lori and I didn’t want to chance anything even remotely happening, and so I traveled without her, but the rest of the NewSong guys brought their wives on this amazing trip. After days of flights and time adjustment, we were ready to see Holt at work. In Jiangxi Province, our visit began with a two-hour bus ride to Shang Gao, to a nice child caring facility where Holt has been helping and where we would meet our sponsored children. A caregiver in the nursery placed in my arms a baby girl named Shishi. It was probably 65 degrees outside, but Shishi was wrapped up for the coldest 6 Winter 2007 of winters—looking like the Michelin tire guy or the little kid in “The Christmas Story,” arms sticking out to the side because of the massive amount of padding. Her sweet little face was the only skin showing. She was literally a bundle of joy… until I felt something warm on my belly. Yep, she was wrapped well, all but her bottom, which was nearly exposed. Shishi and I were now bonded in more ways than sponsorship. I didn’t care; the thought of this precious life outweighed that one little detail. She was cleaned up and handed back to me where—now relieved—she slept in my arms for another 20 or 30 minutes. We took photo after photo, and she slept right through the whole thing. Finally, moments before giving her back, Shishi opened her sweet dark eyes and looked me over quite intently. I prayed for her silently—for the days ahead, her health through the cold weather on the way, and the providential family that would soon give Shishi another name and thankfully another life. Can’t Be Cried The weight of this trip was just beginning to set in as we entered the nurseries for newly arrived babies. The rooms were large and clean, and, with one caretaker for four babies, the children were pretty well cared for, but it still wasn’t a home. Suddenly I began to get a sick feeling that the conditions here weren’t ideal, but it was better than being abandoned and left for a hopeful rescue. loving family environment, and that’s what we would witness for ourselves. We went to several locations, and it took a while for me to get over my culture shock and stop wondering how people could live in those conditions. Then I began to notice what Holt’s China program director Jian Chen was trying to show us: the fact that these foster children were loved as if they were their own children for life. Left: Drew Cline, lead singer of the Dove Award winning music group NewSong, holds a baby at the Nanchang Social Welfare Institute during a visit to Holt-supported programs in China. We moved to the rooms with older children. Many had special needs, and some were mentally challenged, but they were loved and cared for. Before coming to China, I had preconceived ideas about orphanages and China for that matter. In some ways I was wrong. These kids were loved, and the caretakers had a genuine loyalty to their babies. I say “their” babies because they were… in heart. Many times the caretaker named the child and cared for her over several years. As we left Shang Gao, I thought of my older brother, David, and his wife, Shelly, who have five beautiful daughters: three by birth and two adopted from China. Everything I had just seen and experienced, David’s girls had gone through: abandonment, rescue, orphanage, possibly foster home, caretakers, attachment and detachment. Now everything I could think about was what my precious nieces had faced and gone through. Above: NewSong band members meet their sponsored children for the first time at the Shang Gao Orphanage. From left: Billy Goodwin, Eddie Carswell, Drew Cline and Matt Butler. We left the orphanage to visit some nearby foster homes. Holt believes that children develop better in a On the next day we took a short drive to the Nanchang Orphanage complex. When we arrived, a police car was driving off, having just dropped off www.holtinternational.org 7 an abandoned child. Over 30 children a month are brought to this orphanage by the police. Our first stop was a group foster home built by Holt International. The building has apartments for six families where a foster mother and father parent six or so children who once lived in the orphanage. Every apartment was clean and tidy and the children were all happy and bonded. Some were playing well with each other and some, like all brothers and sisters, were bumping and pushing like only family can. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL! Jian told us that NewSong helped find the sponsors who support the children and enable Holt to do this program. After she said this, there was a moment (not a long one) where I think we all felt a proud attachment to this place and these people. What we were seeing was tangible. The smiles on the faces of these gorgeous children, the family experience and dynamic we were witnessing, and the growth from what Jian described was almost too much to take in. It was unbelievable! We went upstairs to the baby care unit where 20 or more babies were being cared for. We couldn’t help ourselves, we just started picking up children and holding them close. I managed to get one little sweetheart to smile at me for a while and then noticed a whole row of bundled babies all sitting in chairs near the window. I couldn’t help but think they were like healthy plants getting their sunshine needed for growth. While we were visiting one of the foster homes, a crowd of people gathered outside, and a 13-year-old girl, very pretty, came up and started talking to Jian [director of Holt’s China programs]. Come to find out, this girl, Autumn Cloud is the translation of her Chinese name, was asking Jian if she could find her a family. – Eddie Carswell The sun was shining perfectly on them, keeping them just warm enough to help them sleep. Two tiny babies were on IV’s, one of which was really struggling to breathe. At least two of the babies in this room had cleft palates and though their mouths were deformed their eyes were full of innocence and beauty. The babies were so amazing; it was hard to pull away, and there was so much more to see. Another room looked like a daycare center: bright, colorful, with music playing, but the majority of the kids had special needs. My attention was drawn to a boy without the full use of his arms and hands from some birth defect. He too was so playful and not shy. We rolled a ball back and forth and enjoyed the children’s playful, unhindered spirits. After that we went to see some children with even more severe special needs. Ranging from preemies to around 5 years old, these children were in great need. My attention was drawn first to a gorgeous little girl just sitting in a crib. She had no smile, and her piercing eyes seemed to look right into you. She was brought to the orphanage just a few weeks earlier. She seemed to respond a little when Jian stroked her head, but she couldn’t talk. Eddie Carswell hugs two girls at the group foster home at Nanchang Social Welfare Institute. • Update on Autumn Cloud (mentioned in Eddie Carswell’s quote): On the day Autumn asked Jian Chen for a family, Holt staff began advocating for her adoption. The China Center for Adoption Affairs, also wanting Autumn to have a family as soon as possible, referred her case to Holt. Holt is currently working with several families interested in adopting Autumn. As we were getting off the bus at the Nanchang Orphanage, we saw a police car pulling away and instantly I changed from joking around to finding out… they just dropped off a baby that was left at the front of the orphanage. I went from real high to real low real quick. But in another way… in a strange way, it was kind of comforting that at least they left the baby at an orphanage… at least this baby was put in a place where they’ll be taken care of. – Matt Butler A little baby in another crib had a massive growth on her neck. And another baby had hydrocephalus. As I walked around the small room, my heart broke, and I became increasingly angry with God. Why did these innocent lives have to endure this hell? I was shortly reminded that I was not God and that I was here to see these children, to take it all in like a long deep breath and allow it to affect me Jian had told us about visiting an orphanage several years ago to see if Holt could help the children there. But inside it was completely silent. Jian asked why the babies weren’t crying, and the caretaker said they’re sleeping. But they weren’t necessarily sleeping. The reality was that they had cried and cried until they realized nobody was coming. So they stopped crying. As I heard Jian tell this story, I could just feel my heart drop. That was very powerful for me. And I think I’ll leave here thinking about the tears that can’t be cried by these children. It just broke my heart. The Lord whispered to me that He had created me to sing, to speak, to write, to bring awareness to as many people as possible that something can be done for these children. That God loves them so very much and that we are His hands and His feet to care for the children’s needs. At that moment it’s as if the Lord knew I needed to simplify my thoughts. I just felt led to ask my heart: “What can I do?” And as I did, God reminded me that that would be my challenge to our audience. What can you do? Give, pray, visit… whatever, go do it! We can change our world. We can see lives being saved physically and spiritually with just a little effort. I saw the faces and the broken bodies of helpless babies, and now it’s my prayer that more than just my words, but my life, will help bring awareness and life to more people—children far away to be fed and loved, and adults near to be challenged and moved to act. Above: Matt Butler and his wife, Ashlee, pray over their sponsored child. Inset: Matt and Ashlee pose with with the child they sponsor and her foster mother. Below: Billy Goodwin gets acquainted with his sponsored child. May God grant us grace and fervor to meet the needs of neighbors near and far. I’ll not see this world the same again or look lightly upon the face of any child without seeing the faces I’ve seen in need or remembering the tears that can’t be cried. ■ Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless…. Rescue the weak and needy…. Psalm 82: 3-4 There was a sign over the Nanchang Orphanage Group Home with the words of Harry Holt: “Every child deserves a home of his own.” That’s huge for an abandoned child to go from an abandoned child to becoming an accepted member of a family. And Holt is allowing that to happen to so many kids. Their work is a bridge from when people drop them off and they have no hope, to get them into the arms of people who give up everything to love those kids, to accept them into their family, let them be part of their family, their community. – Billy Goodwin www.holtinternational.org 9 Celebrating the Past, Charting the Future Every child has the need and a right to grow up in a family. from the “Eugene Declaration” a proclamation endorsed by attendees of Looking Forward—A Global Response to Homeless Children, a conference hosted by Holt International T The Looking Forward conference, held last October in Eugene, Oregon, brought together child welfare leaders from 43 countries. Over three days world-renowned children’s advocates shared experiences, ideas and challenges for each other to find more effective ways to address the crisis of homeless children around the world. The final sessions included a panel of international adoptees who represented a wide range of Holt’s history. The adoptees described an improved understanding of adoptees’ needs and urged confer- ence attendees to preserve international adoption for the sake of children who still need families. The conference also capped Holt’s 50th anniversary, bringing together adoptive families, adoptees and dignitaries at a festive gala. With First Lady Laura Bush as honorary chair, the conference also included videotaped messages from the first ladies of South Korea and the Ukraine. ■ If the best interest of a child is ignored in even one intercountry adoption, we have failed in a nearly sacred obligation.... In late 2000, Congress passed the Intercountry Adoption Act to implement the [Hague] Convention. Since then, we have worked every day to make the regulatory and organizational changes we need to implement the Convention. Many have asked, wondered and yes, complained that the implementation process has taken a long time. This is true. It has. We have moved carefully but unceasingly, because we recognize how critical it is that we get all of the pieces right: regulations, an accreditation system, and oversight mechanisms, all of which are critical to our success. We have preferred, as my husband the former shop teacher used to say, to ‘measure twice, cut once,’ because the stakes are so high. And we are close now. —Ambassador Maura Harty, U.S, Assistant Secretary of State for Consular Affairs Top row from left: Ambassador Maura Harty (right), U.S. Assistant Secretary of State for Consular Affairs, and Hans van Loon, Secretary General of the Hague Conference on Private International Law, met with Marta Altolaguirre, Vice Minister for Foreign Affairs of Guatemala, and other members of the Guatemalan delegation. • Winners of the Harry Holt Award—Conference Chair Susan Cox, Holt International Vice President of Public Policy and Advocacy, with Dr. Dana Johnson, Co-Director, International Adoption Clinic, Department of Pediatrics, University of Minnesota. • Center row: Adult adoptees visited the one-time Holt family home in Creswell, Oregon. From right, Charlotte Otsu traveled from Japan; Board member Kim Hanson came from Omaha. • Spencer Latarski spoke on the adoptee panel and played guitar with his father at the conference gala. Peter Saddington (in the background) also spoke on the panel. • Bottom row: Nancy Kim, wife of Holt President Emeritus David Kim, is flanked by members of the Holt Children’s Services of Korea Ladies Auxiliary, who sang at the gala. • Background: Signatures of conference delegates on a copy of the Eugene Declaration—”Every child has the need and a right to grow up in a family.” 10 Winter 2007 For keynotes and other presentations, “We all know that provision for others is a fundamental responsibility of human life. By working together we can provide a better future for our children.” — Kateryna Yushchenko First Lady, Ukraine from a video message When Korean children were suffering from war and poverty and had no one to turn to, the Holts gave them a loving home. Even now, Holt is carrying out spectacular activities in many parts of the world. Going beyond protection of children’s rights, your services have expanded to the welfare of single mothers and people with physical challenges. I have the most profound respect for your devotion.... Undoubtedly, the global village is a brighter and warmer place because of you.... — Kwon, Yang-suk First Lady of the Republic of Korea from a video message “We are in a crisis for the world’s most vulnerable children—each year some 15 million no longer in care of a family—a crisis where we must all work together to provide hope... Only through a coordinated response can we make a significant difference.” — Sam Worthington, President and CEO, Interaction “We learn from our founders Harry and Bertha Holt… that this work starts from a heart that is filled with faith, that it can be done and that it will be done.” —Gary Gamer President and CEO Holt International At this conference we are “Looking Forward” but we are also celebrating the 50th anniversary of an historic initiative taken by an inspired couple, Harry and Bertha Holt…. One’s admiration for the Holts, for David Kim and the other pioneers, only grows when one imagines the uphill struggle, within the political and cultural climate of the time…. —Hans van Loon, Secretary General of the Hague Conference on Private International Law Harry and Bertha [Holt]’s gift was not just the tidal wave of international adoptees that have come into this country and other countries of the world, but the focus on the fact that a family is absolutely critical for each child. —Dr. Dana Johnson, Co-Director, International Adoption Clinic, Department of Pediatrics, University of Minnesota Clockwise from top left: Three members of the Holt family—Beulah Stronczek, sister of Bertha Holt, with Suzanne Peterson and Molly Holt, daughters of Bertha and Harry Holt. Molly Holt, Chair of the Board of Holt Children’s Services of Korea, received a Founders Award. • Dr. David H. Kim, after receiving a Founders Award, shares a moment with leaders of Holt Children’s Services of Korea—from right, Min Kyung-tae, President, and Lee, Myungwoo, Head of the Overseas Program. • Bertha Holt Elementary School choir performed for conference visitors. • Lydia Nyesigomwe, Director of Action for Children, Holt’s partner agency in Uganda, visits with Minalee Saks, Executive Director of Birth to Three in Eugene, Oregon. • Mary Paul, Director of Vathsalya Charitable Trust, one of Holt’s partner agencies in India, is reunited with several adoptees. • Above: Holt International President and CEO Gary Gamer (right) chats with Sam Worthington, President and CEO of Interaction. visit holtinternational.org/conference www.holtinternational.org 11 China Father Angelo D’Agostino spoke at Holt International’s 50th anniversary conference in October. Kenya Father Angelo D’Agostino, a leading advocate for AIDS orphans in Africa, passed away November 20 following cardiac arrest. The 81-year-old Jesuit priest and medical doctor founded the Nyumbani Children’s Home in Nairobi, Kenya. In October, he spoke at Holt’s 50th anniversary conference while on a fundraising tour in the United States. His speech is available on the Holt website. Globe India In partnership with China’s Ministry of Civil Affairs, Holt is now helping 374 children whose lives have been affected by HIV/AIDS. Holt is also developing another program site in southwestern China in response to a request made by the government of China. By early 2007, Holt will be offering assistance to about 200 children at this new site. Romania Holt Romania Foundation received a $50,000 donation toward the construction of the Parent Education Center in Constanta. Close to You, Holt’s other partner agency in Romania, recently conducted HIV testing for more than 200 students and people from the community of Constanta. They reached out to thousands more in an informational campaign to high schools, the university and discos in observance of the International Day of Combating HIV/AIDS. Progress is being made on the new office and childcare center for Vathsalya Charitable Trust in Bangalore. Building funds were raised last year. Uganda Children in Holt sponsorship in Uganda will soon receive a shipment from a 4thgrade class at the Bertha Holt Elementary School in Eugene, Oregon. The shipment contains Bertha Holt T-shirts and a signed soccer ball. The students hope to build relationships with one another while learning more about the world. Russia Holt is now registered as a non-governmental organization in the first of two steps in being able to establish intercountry adoption services there. Living with HIV in Thailand With her clear skin, eyes the color of dark chocolate and hair to match, 10-year-old Sunee* is the picture of health. Smiling and happy, she goes to school every day. A good student popular with her teacher as well as other children, the 4th-grader loves field trips and picnics and attending yearly campouts with her mom. Sunee was 4 years old when her mother took her to Holt Sahathai Foundation (HSF) for relinquishment. Her social worker says that Sunee and her mother looked happy together and very attached. But Sunee’s father had just died of AIDS, and her widowed mother was also infected, as was Sunee. On an unstable income, Sunee’s mother found it too difficult to continue caring for her daughter. 12 Winter 2007 HSF, Holt International’s sister agency in Thailand, enrolled Sunee and her mother in its Antiretroviral (ARV) Therapy Program, and Sunee’s health improved. Sunee and more than 200 other children affected by HIV receive educational support from HSF. HSF provided Sunee’s mother with a loan to start her small business, and she was able to pay it back within a year. After saving money for two years, she was able to improve her housing condition. Sunee’s mother continues to do well physically and emotionally and finds support in “Life Lighted Up,” a group for parents living with HIV organized by HSF. She says she has never regretted keeping her daughter. Aware that she is living with HIV, Sunee told her friends during group conversation at HSF that the virus is “just a tiny lazy monster that lives inside us. He won’t be able to attack you as far as we keep ourselves strong and healthy.” With support from Holt International’s donors and sponsors, the social workers at HSF continue to work hard to keep children and families together despite HIV/AIDS. Sunee and her mother are living witnesses that HSF is moving forward in the right direction. ■ * name changed to protect identity Olga Dudina, the HIV/AIDS manager for Holt-Ukraine’s Families for Children Project, embraces four HIV-positive children enrolled in the foster care program. A Ukraine Success Story Ten-year-old Tania dreams of becoming a dancer. But after losing her birth mother to AIDS while still a small baby, Tania has lived in institutions ever since. She spent her first four years in a hospital before being transferred to one of Ukraine’s orphanages for HIV-positive children. And there she stayed. Then Tania got lucky. Thanks to the Families for Children Program—funded by USAID and implemented by Holt International—Tania and seven other HIV-positive children were recently taken in by loving foster families. Tania had been waiting for a family for a long time. And now that she has one, this sensitive, lovely girl with curly hair is confident that her dream of becoming a dancer—along with so many other hopes and dreams—will come true. Families for Children Program (FCP) Early this year, personnel of the orphanage where Tania was staying raised serious concern over the pending transfer of Tania and 22 other kids to boarding schools and institutions for children with disabilities. They approached FCP seeking help and advice, prompting FCP to initiate a pilot project. FCP brought together representatives from regional branches of All Ukrainian Network of People living with HIV/AIDS and service providers from public centers for social services to develop strategy. They agreed to conduct foster parent recruitment campaigns among targeted audiences—faith-based organizations, religious communities, people affected by HIV/ AIDS, and medical professionals. The goal of the campaign was to find foster families for 23 HIV-positive children. FCP conducted intensive training on planning and implementing a foster parent recruitment campaign, developed information materials and distributed them among implementing agencies. Through the FCP grant program several organiza- tions were given small grants to conduct a public awareness campaign and recruit foster parents. Two foster families were established and eight children placed in care, a remarkable success and an unprecedented event in Ukraine, a country that has struggled to bring orphaned children out of institutions and into family care. Sponsors Provide Care Holt International enrolled these children into its sponsorship program, which will allow the families extra resources to provide child development and educational services for the children. To help assure adequate care for the children, Holt is also purchasing furniture and other supplies lacked by these families. Meanwhile, the recruitment campaign continues. FCP has managed to get more organizations and agencies involved, which means the chances are good that more children from this and other orphanages will be placed in a familytype environment. The History In the Ukraine, 20 percent of children born by HIV-infected mothers are abandoned in maternity hospitals. They are admitted to baby homes where they are supposed to stay until they reach the age of 3, at which time they are to be transferred to orphanages for children from 3 to 6 years old. Later they are to be transferred once again to boarding schools. In reality, the institutions for children over 3 years old are not willing to accept HIV-positive children, so they remain in baby homes regardless of their age, where they can receive medical treatment but have no access to education. ■ www.holtinternational.org 13 Dae-hyeon Brandon Khanh Blaine families from adopting them. They may be older than 2 years, part of a sibling group, or have a medical condition that may be easily correctable or need multiple interventions. We call these our waiting children, and they deserve to have families of their own. blessings Waiting Children Special needs, special Every day around the world children come into Holt-supported programs. Their stories are different but have a thread of commonality—the children all need a home of their own. These children have suffered abandonment, the death of loving parents, or a natural disaster. Sometimes they have additional challenges that prevent many The children shown here represent just a few of those who need parents. Because Holt’s website provides a more complete listing and can be updated daily, we ask you to view additional children at www.holtinternational.org/waitingchild. Program. She would be happy to share more information with you. You can request a Waiting Child Packet either by calling the Waiting Child Program at (541)687-2202 or through our website. These descriptions of waiting children are based on information available to Holt from caregivers and medical personnel in the children’s country of origin. Holt cannot guarantee the accuracy of these descriptions or that the medical and psychological diagnoses of the children are correct or complete. ■ If you would like more information about a particular child, please contact Jessica Zembower in our Waiting Child Blaine Dae-hyeon Gloria A charming, gentle boy, Blaine always has a smile on his face and is a favorite of his caretakers. He has cerebral palsy and delays, but can crawl fast and stand with support. Blaine knows several words, has good eye contact and follows instructions. He has a $6,000 grant from Brittany’s Hope.* Dae-hyeon has shown an ability to attach to others. He has a history of seizures and is taking medication. Assessed at a 7-month level at 9 months, Dae-hyeon gets physical therapy, imitates speech sounds, responds to his name and smiles responsively. Cheerful and excited when she plays with caretakers and peers, Gloria is becoming more confident and comfortable at the care center. She suffered abuse and neglect and is delayed in her motor and language skills but is making great improvements with early intervention services. Anvita Benjamin Anvita has profound bilateral hearing loss and wears a hearing aid. She is reported to have excellent vision and good eye contact but some developmental delays. Anvita is attached to her foster family and often has a smile on her face. A talkative and energetic boy who gets along well with others, Benjamin appears to be developmentally on target for his age. At 18 months he could walk alone, throw a ball and say several words. Benjamin has tested positive for hepatitis B. Born in NE Asia, Sept. 10, 2002 Brandon Born in China, July 15, 2003 A shy little boy who enjoys receiving hugs and praises, Brandon gets along well with his peers. He has a deformed left leg and extra toes but can walk and run. He says several words and can understand and repeat what others say. He also has a 4-centimeter solid swelling on his lower spine. Brandon has a $3,000 grant from an anonymous donor. Khanh Born in Vietnam, December 20, 2005 Khanh loves to be talked with and hugged. He has Down Syndrome and is said to be in good health. Khanh can hold his head up, roll from front to back and reach for objects. He is reported to be gentle and responsive. 14 Winter 2007 Born in Korea, Feb. 8, 2006 Born in India, October 7, 2004 Dong Born in Vietnam, May 22, 2000 Dong loves his foster family and has been with them for about two years. Reported to be developmentally on target for his age, he attends kindergarten and enjoys playing computer games. An active boy who is expressive and curious, Dong has a $5,000 grant from Brittany’s Hope.* Born in Latin America, Dec. 28, 2003 Born in China, December 8, 2004 Payton Born in SE Asia, September 2, 2001 Payton enjoys being around people and shows his affection through hugs and kisses. His foster family speaks English, and he is learning some words. Payton had surgery to correct an imperforate anus and is otherwise reported to be in good health. An older boy who is energetic and fun-loving, Payton has a $5,000 grant from Brittany’s Hope.* See more children at Benjamin Anvita Namith Dong Gloria Jonathan Born in Latin America, January 13, 2001 Delayed when he came into care at 3 years old, Jonathan has now made remarkable improvements. He likes to play with his peers, participate in activities and has become more confident in himself. Active and in good health, Jonathan has a $5,000 grant from Brittany’s Hope.* Payton Tamara Tamara Born in India, September 3, 2004 A sweet little girl who has cerebral palsy, Tamara can take a few steps on her own and is making great improvements with physical therapy. She also has retinopathy of prematurity in her right eye. She is described as quite social and loves to play with her peers. Tamara has a $4,000 Brittany’s Hope grant.* Namith Born in India, September 27, 2005 An active, happy boy who laughs, says several words and walks without support, friendly Namith loves to be carried by his foster mother and is reported to be developmentally on target for his age. His birth mother was HIV positive, and he tested positive at birth. Two subsequent tests were negative. *Brittany’s Hope grants are available for six months from their granting date, which varies by child. holtinternational.org/waitingchild Oregon Waiting Child Jonathan Agencies reduce fees for the adoption of a child in state care, and financial assistance may be available. To learn more, call the Special Needs Adoption Coalition at The Boys and Girls Aid Society at (877) 932-2734 x 2392, or DHS at (800) 331-0503. Also visit www.boysandgirlsaid. org and www.nwae.org for information and photos of waiting children. Joe, age 12 Regardless of the neglect and abuse he experienced, Joe is growing into an impressively intelligent, social and athletic child. Joe struggles with some learning challenges and restlessness in school but is able to succeed with support and encouragement. Continued scholastic advocacy will be crucial for him. Joe is a dynamic and delightful child waiting to be discovered! www.holtinternational.org 15 family tree Molly Kanevsky, 3, China—Flourtown, Penn. Siblings Kim, 11; Lancer, 10; and Isaac Barnes, 13, Philippines— St. Joseph, Mo. John Gifford, 7 mos, Korea–Fort Meade, S.D. Send your photos to Family Tree! Mail original color prints to: Holt International magazine Family Tree P.O. Box 2880 Eugene, OR 97402 holtinternational.org/submissions Ainsley Starmer, 2, Thailand—Chico, Calif. 16 Winter 2007 Throughout the year we need photos for Holt International magazine, our calendar and other productions… and we’d love to consider yours. Send us your best child & family photos. Please send glossy photographic prints or e-mail high resolution digital images. We cannot use studio photos or prints from digital files. Because of the many photographs we receive each month, we are able to publish only a small percentage. We keep all photos on hold for possible future publication and will contact you if one of yours is selected. Jasmine Chang, 2, China— Thousand Oaks, Calif. Sisters Dana, 7; Deanna, 4, China; Delanie, 1½, China; and Danielle Rowe, 9, Korea—Rosenhayn, N.J. Lia Knispel, 4½, China—Mt. Holly, N.J. Emeili Fowler, 3, China—Atlanta, Ga. Lena, 6, and Joseph Seeger, 2½, China—Portland, Ore. Olivia Horton, 2, China— Lanoka Harbor, N.J. From right: Sisters Helene and Hannah, China, and Heidi Regier at a candlelight service—Dallas, Texas Jack Baggaley, 3, Korea—McKinney, Texas Katie Dunn (left), 2, Korea—Hamilton, N.J. and Catie Lillja, 2, Korea—Lawrenceville, N.J. Abhishek Peter Hausmann, 4, India—Durham N.C. Jena Rotheim, 34, Korea, with husband Paul Cabral—Quincy, Mass. Elizabeth Ahrens, 1, Korea—Los Altos, Calif. Annika Hui, 4, China­—Sacramento, Calif. www.holtinternational.org 17 from the family Simple Homes, Caring Hearts Foster families make a huge difference in the lives of children awaiting their permanent families. by Jody McIntyre­ Madison, Wisconsin Above left: Jocelyn with her foster father. Above right: Jody, Jocelyn and Karl at home in Wisconsin. S Since our trip to China over a year ago to bring back our daughter, Jocelyn Xu Yun Kletzien, people ask us how things are going with our new lives together. Jocelyn has come far since then, but I cannot begin without acknowledging her birth parents and also her foster parents. From those frantic first moments together in our Nanchang hotel room, we have always been aware we weren’t the first people in her world. Some months ago, we received Jocelyn’s finding notice and photo from a contact person. A finding notice and photo runs in the local newspaper whenever an abandoned child is found in China. It tells where the baby was found and identifying characteristics. The photo, taken shortly after she was found outside a social welfare agency, shows a sad, defeated looking baby, only days old. The note says, “Small eyes.” My husband and I were amazed that this little baby turned out to be a smiling, large-eyed, joyful child. How did this happen? A Changed Girl After Jocelyn was abandoned, she was examined by medical staff, as is the standard practice in China. Once the time for family to come forward to claim her had expired, Jocelyn was placed with a foster family. Photos we received of Jocelyn with her foster family showed a happy, dimply baby being held closely by a grinning foster daddy. What a change from her finding photo! We noticed things about Jocelyn that we imagine she learned from her foster family’s extended family. Silly blub-blub noises she makes by rubbing the back 18 Winter 2007 of her hand up and down across her mouth. She eagerly extended her tiny hands forward for us to take whenever she saw the fingernail clippers. We realized nail cutting time was probably one of those moments where she was held closely while detailed attention was paid to her. When we received her, Jocelyn’s nails were immaculate. Our China contact also met Jocelyn’s foster family. When all the foster parents of the village found out who was asking about them and why, they surrounded him quickly. Then they began peppering him with questions. They wanted to know that their babies were okay. Some were worried that bad things had befallen these children they had grown to love. They hoped this man could provide proof that everything was fine. They were assured, by being shown photographs of our healthy babies, that the little girls were flourishing and very much loved. Satisfied, they let him tour the area, proudly showing him their humble but warm abodes. Now paging through the small scrapbook our contact person gave us from the trip, we are able to see Jocelyn’s foster family had a simple apartment, a number of new foster children, and lots of people hanging out to interact with the babies. Reflecting on this past year, as well as the footage and photos of where she spent most of her young life before meeting us, I believe her foster family taught her how to laugh and love. She does both with gusto. Their love built a strong bridge for the foundation of Jocelyn’s forever family. For this, I thank them. ■ Window Seat with a Different View An adoptive mother muses about what her toddler son will look like W when he becomes a man. “Well, this is just great,” I muttered as my husband, Houston, and I boarded the plane for our first crosscountry flight with our 14-month-old son, Johnny Mac. The empty window seat in our row meant we would share our cramped quarters on this “pioneer” flight with a total stranger. I jammed our diaper bag under the seat in front of me and attempted to settle in for the five and a half hour flight, all the while wondering how our seatmate would react if Johnny Mac turned into a screaming, uncontrollable toddler en route. Streams of people shuff led down the aisle bumping into my husband and peering over to smile at our son as he stared intently at all the faces passing by. I glanced up in time to see a young Korean man approaching. The gentleman paused at our row and pointed at the empty window seat next to me. When we stood to let him in, my annoyance at having our privacy invaded turned into excitement because we adopted our son from South Korea a few months earlier. Now I was eager to chat with this stranger. He immediately asked about our son, which started a conversation that lasted many miles. He told us he had a 2-year-old son waiting for him to arrive at his in-laws, so I felt hopeful relief that he might understand if Johnny Mac acted up. As the plane took off, I fed Johnny Mac a bottle while listening to more of our seatmate’s background. Born in Korea, he came to the United States when he was 13 years old to live with family here. Although he did not share many details from his own life, he seemed interested in our adoption story, as he knew many adult Korean adoptees. issues with this friendly man. Finally, he announced it was time for him to go to sleep. With Houston snoozing on my left, our son gently snoring in my lap, and my new pal resting on my right, my thoughts kept me awake. I figured anyone looking at our row might assume our son belonged to me and the Korean stranger rather than to my redheaded, freckled husband, otherwise known as “dada.” Because Johnny Mac is not our biological son, I often think about what he will look like when he is older. I blame this insatiable curiosity of mine for totally checking out the Korean passenger once he fell asleep. I gazed at his face, noticing the similarities between the shapes of his eyelids and the thickness of his eyebrows to my son’s and how different they appeared from mine. I wished I could see more of his hairstyle hidden beneath the dark gray hat, as Johnny Mac’s signature Mohawk always causes comments wherever we go. I continued observing him, taking in his muscular arms, neatly trimmed fingernails, and lean figure while speculating that perhaps Johnny Mac might resemble him 30 years from now. Although it is difficult to think about my snuggly, thumb-sucking boy as a grown man, not knowing what Johnny Mac’s birth parents look like forces me to use my imagination in rather bizarre ways. Even though Johnny Mac does not have many of our physical traits, he is starting to show more of our personality—imitating me fussing at our barking miniature Schnauzer, or dropping his head into the palm of his hand just like my husband when he gets frustrated. Sometimes watching our son is like looking into a mirror that reflects both our good and bad days. Hearing him mimic “I love you” in toddler speech while blowing loud kisses assures us we are more deeply related than any biological features ever could. Our bond is strong and the three of us are a family in the truest sense of the word. by Elizabeth Irby Left: Johnny Mac Irby, adopted from Korea. Below: The Irby family at a 2006 Holt Family Picnic— Johnny Mac nestles in the embrace of his father, Houston, while sister Amelia Grace, also adopted from Korea, snuggles with their mother, Elizabeth. Once the plane landed and we parted ways with our Korean companion, I realized that Johnny Mac will continue to grow into the man that both nature and nurture creates. And I will discover for myself what that looks like with each passing day. ■ Our son fell asleep shortly after take-off and the hours passed quickly as I discussed cultural and parenting www.holtinternational.org 19 from the family From India with Love Adopting an older sibling pair may have brought extra challenges, I but it’s been a match made in heaven for this family. by Mike Gates West Linn, Oregon I had the good fortune of seeing Roopali and Rahul at Bharatiya Samaj Seva Kendra (BSSK), Holt’s partner agency in Pune, India, when my son Ryan and I were there on a work team. Our adoption process started on the flight home when Ryan said, “Dad, you guys are always threatening to adopt some kids. Do you remember the older sister and brother at BSSK? They might fit in with us real well.” Above left: Rahul and Roopali as they appeared on the back cover of Hi Families magazine in the Nov/Dec 1999 issue. Center: The two at Disney World in March 2006. The day after we decided to put in our adoption papers for them the Hi Families magazine arrived. Geri and I took it as an affirmation of our decision when we saw their photograph on the back cover, and we shed a few tears when we saw them. Then, just before Christmas, someone from our travel group sent us a video from the trip. That was when the tears really began to flow. Roopali 20 Winter 2007 five years, and she has settled most of her issues and matured immensely. By using the term meltdown I mean she literally became briefly disassociated from all care about herself or the people and things around her. She began to pick things up and throw them, to try to hit and bite other people in the family, and to harm herself. She was a lost little girl. What makes us so proud of Polly, as we now call her, is her constant willingness to challenge herself at school. When she arrived she had a rudimentary grasp of math and English. Though 11 years old she tested at only first grade level. It was the wisdom of some great teachers that she was immediately placed in a fifth grade class so she had a chance to make peer age friends. Yet, she still managed to become a classroom leader right away. They are both pranksters at heart. They love slapstick comedy and have learned the family habit of making a pun out of just about anything. Roopali was 11 when they came to join us. She faced a quintuple stress load. Not only was she having to learn a new language, but her first impression of her new culture was the impact of 9/11 just three weeks after arriving in the United States. She was being put into a U.S. school for the first time at the age of 11. She had been a very independent leader because she was the oldest in the orphanage by several years but was now being asked to take a more subservient role. Also, because she was older, her maturity had been suppressed so that she acted much like a 7-year-old in temperament and reaction. On top of all that, she had to deal with the hormones of on-setting puberty. Now just stay sane girl! Besides increasingly living up to her name (as we understand it, rupali means “beautiful” in Marathi or Hindi), Polly has grown in academic understanding from year to year. She is now a B-average student as a freshman and has plans to go to college. While in middle school she earned an award as the “Hardest Working Student” in the entire school. She is still the first to turn in assignments and then works diligently to improve them with her teachers’ guidance. Didn’t happen. About two months after she arrived she had her first meltdown. A couple weeks later she had another. Then it was three weeks before the next one, then four weeks, and so on. It’s been nearly Roopali’s special tenderness draws children to her. It likely comes from the fact she was four years older than all the children at BSSK. Whatever she wanted to do, the children wanted also. Whatever she said, the children followed her lead. But she has learned how to balance things out now that she is the younger sister to four older siblings. Rahul Rahul was 7 when he came from BSSK. He took to being in the United States like a fish takes to water. He loved the new sights and sounds and readily accepted his role in the family as youngest child. His struggles didn’t come until the middle school years, a particularly introspective time for all children. He is “different” (a curse in middle school) because of his skin color and bushy hair, his lightening speed in sports and his beautiful art work. When stressed he gets a good case of the “harrumphs.” All we see is a shrug of the shoulders. The answer to every question asking him for a choice is “I don’t know.” We don’t worry too much about these symptoms because they are so typical for the age. So far, what curiosity he has about being adopted he has kept to himself. When asked if he ever wanted to go back to India, his answer was an emphatic “No!” Rahul leads his class and is naturally athletic. He just completed his first track season at middle school and set school records in most categories he entered. Rahul is also a defensive soccer star. Because he is faster than anyone else on the field, his teammates rely on him to snuff out breakaway goals. What really sets Rahul apart is his laugh. When we go to the movies as a family we can’t wait for the comedy on screen. Rahul’s laugh is so infectious he takes people with him all over the theater. And if he gets the giggles we are all in stitches. Match made in heaven The biggest difference between the two is that Roopali will be the first to speak on any issue while Rahul watches and sorts things out before adding his two cents worth, if he speaks at all. Pretty typical stuff between an older and younger sibling. They are both pranksters at heart. They love slapstick comedy and have learned the family habit of making a pun out of just about anything. It’s not all laughs, but we try to keep things loose and Roopali and Rahul are like-minded souls. It’s been a match made in heaven. Our preparations were pretty much down the list of advice given by Holt, with one small exception. We gathered our extended family from near and far at Christmas time and asked them if they would have any trouble with dark-skinned children from India being adopted into the family. It wasn’t just ethnicity we were concerned about, although there were family members who had previously expressed some racial misunderstanding. There were issues of inheritance, educational funding, church duties and just plain added members to an already large family. Two more Christmas gifts, two more birthday gifts, two more school plays and soccer games, and so on. We were asking the entire family to take on quite a load. And it is good that we asked. We have subsequently added four granddaughters. Roopali misses her birth family from time to time. We have learned bits and pieces about her mother, father and an older sister. After their mother passed away, Roopali and Rahul were at BSSK for four years and many of their memories were already fuzzy. After another five years it is hard to separate fact from fiction. Roopali mostly worries about the sister who was too old at age 12 to go to an orphanage. They have dear memories of BSSK in Pune and regularly search the Holt magazine for faces they remember. ■ On Adopting Older Siblings Adopting children who are older or are part of a sibling group can be wonderfully rewarding but also extremely challenging. In an effort to prepare adoptive parents for the unique issues presented by children who are older or have significant special needs, Holt developed a parent-training course titled “The Special Needs of Adopted Children.” Families living in Holt Branch office states who are adopting children over the age of 24 months or who have special needs are required to attend. The curriculum provides adoptive parents with information about how a child’s background and history may impact the child’s behavior and adjustment to the family. The class also helps adoptive families assess their strengths, resources and limitations and make an informed decision about whether this is the right choice for them. The Gates family’s story illustrates the importance of several of the issues covered in the curriculum: Transitions Older children often require more time to settle in to their adoptive family. It’s not uncommon for children and families to experience a “honeymoon” period at the time of placement, followed by a long period of challenging behaviors, such as the meltdowns described by Mike Gates. Having a long-term view and making room for regressions in behavior can help put these challenges into perspective. Also, understanding your child’s background and what may be motivating the behavior, such as loss of language, loss of authority and loss of culture, can go a long way in helping parents figure out how to address the behavior while still building trust with their child. Preparing children already in the home Adding another child or children to the home means that everyone will have to make adjustments, not just the adoptive parents. By acknowledging ways in which children already in the home may be affected by the new addition, both positively and negatively, parents can be vigilant about balancing the needs of all the children in the family. Support System The Gates family made sure all of their extended family was informed about their decision to adopt and were willing to take on the extra commitments to help support and care for two more children. Parents who identify resources and support prior to their child or children coming home don’t have to face challenges and frustrations alone. It is essential for families to identify others in their extended family and community who are willing to help out in times of crisis, as well as share in times of joyful celebration. —by Susie Doig, MSW www.holtinternational.org 21 from the family Pushing Up the Sky: A Mother‘s Story An excerpt from a newly released memoir about adoption by Terra Trevor Santa Barbara, Calif. Above: Terra Trevor and her daughter, Kyeong Sook, in 2006. Bottom right: The Trevor family in 1987 shortly after Kyeong Sook arrived—Terra and Gary in the back, with Kyeong Sook, Vanessa and Jay in the wagon. I It was the end of a perfect weekend. Before my daughter began the four-hour drive home to her own apartment, she said, “Mom, I’ve got a big favor to ask—can you take my clothes out of the washer and put them in the dryer? I’ve got a last minute errand I need to run, do you mind?” Sorting through the tangle of jeans and underwear reminds me of the day I met my daughter for the first time. We adopted her from Korea in 1987, when she was 10 years old, a live-wire pixie with flashing almond eyes and a deep belly laugh. There was an unsettling side to her too— a flash fire sense of mistrust that kept her heart sealed in plastic and didn’t allow her to get close to anyone. The only clothes she had were the ones she came wearing. The first night home she pulled off her jeans and threw them into the dirty clothes hamper. I’d planned to take her shopping the next day to begin to assemble a wardrobe. Yet because she would need something clean to wear in the morning I decided to wash her clothes. Before I put her jeans and T-shirt into the washing machine, I held the little knit shirt she had said good-bye to Korea in, had traveled across the world wearing. It was steamy and smelled sweetly of sesame, ginger and garlic. The fragrance of the country, and the people she left behind were melded into the fabric. extra large, so that no matter how many times they circled the dryer, everything fits loose on her rounded hips. I stroke her sweater, the same pale green as good jade. I brush its silky knit with my fingertips. I breathe in the textures and colors of her clothes as if I am reading the words in a diary, trying to get to know my daughter who is filled with secrets and privacy. When my other kids come home to visit, they spill the contents of their pockets onto the floor, leave a trail of gas receipts and sales slips on the counter, a residue, an update, journalizing their lives. But she keeps everything inside her suitcase, locked tight beside her vulnerability. I don’t know anything about her except the things she chose to tell me. Fifteen years later, folding my daughter’s laundry reminds me that she is still out of reach to me, like the brass ring on the merrygo-round that I was always trying to catch. By the time she was 12, she began doing all of her own laundry. While her sister and brother complained about having to wash their own clothes and mopped the floor with paper towels after overfilling the machine, this child welcomed laundry. She sailed through washing, drying and folding without my assistance. There are drawbacks to adopting a half-grown, independent, competent child; it meant she allowed me few opportunities to mother her. Then at age 18, after only eight years together, my daughter moved out on her own. Though I see her often, and we talk on the phone every week, I never lived with her again. I sit cross-legged on the floor, with the pile of my daughter’s clean clothes in my lap, sorting through its treasures as if stories could be released from inside and tossed out. Her knit skirts and pants are a size 22 Winter 2007 All of a sudden I wish that something of hers remained unwashed. And then I see the pillow, and rumpled blankets on the bed. I bury my face in the sheets, inhale the scent of her perfume, deodorant and perspiration. She is my daughter, and I am her mother, yet in some ways we are still just starting out. ■ Pushing up the Sky A story of transracial adoption, life-threatening illness, love and renewal. by Terra Trevor; 230 pages, $25.95 Korean American Adoptee Adoptive Family Network, 2006 As a 19-year-old unmarried college student, Terra Trevor found herself pregnant. A social worker counseled her it would be easier to find parents for her baby were she not Native American. She miscarried before deciding whether or not to put the baby up for adoption. Twelve years later and after giving birth to a daughter, Terra and her husband adopted a 1year-old Korean boy through Holt International. When Jay was 3 and their daughter 6, the family adopted a 7-year-old girl from Korea through a different agency. After she’d been with them a few hours, Kyeong Sook informed them that she was actually 10. “Make sure she understands that we want her, and that her age doesn’t matter,” Terra told her new daughter through a friend who served as interpreter. But unconditional love did not establish a perfect union. Birth order had been overturned, and the family’s newest member brought with her a variety of psychological wounds. Written with abundant love, the book is an honest account of the challenges of integrating an older adopted child into an established family. It is also about being an adoptive family trying to build community with Korean-American culture and with other adoptive families. And finally, the book becomes a journey into the battle to save a son from brain cancer. The author’s sensibilities toward the natural world and all that really matters in the lives of her children put her on the level of a great teacher of the capacities of the human heart. Sad but triumphant, this book deserves a wide readership for its great story-telling and lyrical use of language. My only criticism comes on the technical side—the book would have benefited from the eye of a good copy editor. Pushing Up the Sky can be purchased through the Holt website using amazon.com at www.holtinternational.org/shopping. ■ ­—Reviewed by Alice Evans Who Will Answer A memoir by Dr. David Hyungbok Kim; 497 pages, $25, updated and reissued by Holt International, 2006. The book can be purchased through the Holt International website at www.holtinternational.org An Excerpt: The Second Charter Flight (1957— En route to the mainland United States from Korea) “A little girl asked me what she should say when she met her new parents. So I taught her a few English phrases: How are you, my name is, I am happy, I love you, etc. She repeatedly practiced these words until we arrived in Los Angeles. “Another girl asked me, ‘What will I do if they don’t like me?’ I assured her that she did not need to worry about such a thing, that she would be loved dearly. I explained her new parents were so eager to see her that they could hardly wait for her arrival. She seemed somewhat relieved but not entirely convinced. “I pondered her question. What if an adoptive parent disliked one of our children at their first meeting? Imagining how devastated the child would be sent a streak of icy coldness down my back. A seemingly simple question from a little girl planted a seed of doubt in my heart. …Would everyone actually be loved as I had been told? “I wrestled with this question, finally seeking solace with God Almighty. I settled into my seat, closed my eyes, and began to pray. ‘Please God; don’t let any of our waiting parents reject your precious little children. They have experienced much more than anyone could imagine. They have lost loving parents, siblings, and their other family members. May they never again experience another war, hunger, illness, or separation from their loved ones.’ “I regretted I had not spent more time preparing the older children for their new homes in the United States. In the beginning, when I had been directly receiving children from their mothers and relatives by myself, it had been possible for me to speak with the children about their new lives. Later, as more children came into our care and our workload increased, I was no longer able to do so. “Although the legal processing work was necessary, I realized it was more important to talk with the older children about the new parents, home and country where they would be living. I should have explained what was expected of them during every step of the adoption process.” ■ Dr. David H. Kim signs copies of his book during the Holt International 50th Anniversary Conference in Eugene, Oregon, in October 2006. President Emeritus of Holt International, Dr. Kim was the first person hired by Harry Holt to help save the lives of Korean war orphans. www.holtinternational.org 23 from the family Lightening Up How one family dealt with adjustment issues by Anne Block Dallas, Texas S She arrived in Dallas on a hot May afternoon, swaddled in Korean fashion, multiple layers. In a moment, we were endeared to our docile, wide-eyed wonder, just over 5 months old. We named her Hannah after her great-grandmother. We had enthusiastically planned for Hannah to sleep in Hunter’s room, the nursery. But our plans changed the first night when her “singing”—as the Korean escort called it—bellowed louder than the Rolling Stones. We jockeyed around Hunter’s toddler bed and hurriedly dismantled Hannah’s crib. Tripping over one another, we reassembled in the guest room. For a few months, she sang with clenched fists, arched back and writhing legs. Our days of yoga and Yanni were transformed. Above: Hannah Block shows off her newly pierced ears. Below: Hannah plays peekaboo in a field of pumpkins. Opposite page: Hannah and her brother, Hunter, go for a walk. What’s One To Do? She was medically fine. We asked a bit fearfully: Is it us? What was her foster care like? Is Hannah happy? Hannah’s initial child report stated, “She stops crying immediately if held or given attention.” I soothed her in a snuggle carrier, a homemade Mayan wrap sling, a Korean Podegi—universal comfort. She quieted outdoors—we drove her around the block, watched the clouds. At 3 a.m., her papa took her out for a stroll, still in his plaid boxer shorts and Breathe Right nose strip. Papa played the conga drums. Hunter, at just 20 months old, ignored her fits, brought her a bottle, fed her, gave her his toys, then rested his head on her belly and said, “No cry baby.” We watched with adoration as he got her to laugh. Hannah’s smiles were few at first, so we weeded through photos for those with a hint of a smile to send to family and friends. One family member specifically asked for a smiling photo. Social Worker Wisdom Enter Charlotte Thomason, our homestudy agency social worker. She had practically become family during Hunter’s post placement visits the year prior. Hunter, also born in Korea, was happy from day one. He adjusted practically overnight. He fell asleep with a smile and woke up laughing. At Hannah’s first post-placement visit, Charlotte said with raised brow, “You seem a bit on edge. A child picks up on stress.” Acknowledging Hannah’s willfulness, she advised, “Be consistent and love her.” Charlotte listened and gave us permission to feel. We learned more about parenting and gradually understood Hannah’s real needs. Through Charlotte’s insight, we relaxed knowing Hannah had only mild adjustment issues; to us it had seemed major. What could we do? In typical fashion, I tapped “structure for baby” in Google Search, and then posted a daily schedule on the kitchen calendar. Small changes like this helped everyone. Lighten Up Papa wore bright red ear muffs padded with cotton … we all made fish lips, sang homespun tunes. When we lightened up, Hannah came around. Her personality and smiles emerged around the 6-month mark, to our delight. Now, she “steals” Hunter’s baseball cap and turns with a smirk to be chased. She stands on chairs and laughs when scolded. She flops onto her papa when he lies on the floor. She beats on the drums as part of the band. She bends over to touch her toes as we stretch our limbs. Our little Hannah, she mimics our ways and offers a wink. Lest we forget, a videotape of Hannah’s early “singing” may amuse us in years to come. ■ 24 Winter 2007 grief reactions to the loss of their caretakers in the foster home (or institution) as well as to the loss of everything familiar to them. Days and nights can be mixed up due to time changes and long flights. “Focus on what you can do—parents are not perfect,” Ms. Thomason continued. “Families who adopt and have no biological children may not have a concept of what’s normal or what to expect during the adjustment period.” If the adjustment is not especially easy, “it’s not any one thing—not the parents, not the foster setting, and not the child. It should never be a blame game.” This is a key point. Families should certainly steer clear of the temptation to blame the child. Adjustment Issues Charlotte Thomason offered the following helpful observations to the Block family to help with the adjustment process. “Think of the day you get your child like it’s the first day you’ve come home from the hospital.” She emphasized that because every child and family is different, every family’s adjustment will be unique. Remember, at the same time the child is adjusting to your family, so too is your family adjusting to the presence of the child. Children often have strong Don’t Give Up Hope to Adopt Rules Change: Prayer Opens the Way I prayed long and hard about my desire to adopt a baby girl from China. After we applied to Holt we learned that China was making adjustments in its adoption process and our application could not be processed. But I knew in my heart a daughter was waiting for us there. So we waited also, and we continued to pray. Eventually, we got that wonderful call saying our daughter was ready for us. She had just turned 2 years old. After doing the math we figured she was born around the time God placed the desire on my heart to adopt from China. But we weren’t yet done building our family. To facilitate the adjustment process, parents should provide comfort, be consistent, set structure and accept the fact that some family adjustment periods may be longer than others. Ms. Thomason also wanted to remind everyone that the social worker is not an inspector. “You’re not going to lose your child, unless there are serious indications of abuse or neglect.” Our role is to reassure the family, show support and provide guidance.” The goal of the social worker is to help ease the adjustment period for both the child and family. ■ —Pat McConnell, MSW Holt Director of Social Services, Korea we learned he was to be our son. We named him Ian. He was almost 3 when my daughter Leslie and I traveled to Korea to bring him home. Four months later, Ian had surgery to stretch his heel cord and now walks normally. He receives speech therapy and occupational therapy at school and is progressing well. No one would know that Ian had cerebral palsy or once suffered seizures and walked with a limping gait. Ian and Katie have blessed our family, and we are thankful to God and to Holt International for bringing us these precious children. ■ —Cherie Jones, Wyoming Each time Holt’s magazine came, my daughter Leslie and I searched the stories and faces of the waiting children. I believed there was a little boy for us in Korea, and one day I found him. Sung-joon was listed as having left spastic hemiplegia and walking with a limping gait. I called Holt’s Waiting Child Program but was told we would need an age waiver to adopt from Korea. But we got over this hurdle, too, when the waiver was approved. Holt sent me a complete medical folder to review with a doctor. My husband and I felt sure we could handle any medical problems Sung-joon might have and were overjoyed when Cherie and Warren Jones at home in Wyoming with their four children—Ian (Korea), Gregg, Katie (China) and Leslie. www.holtinternational.org 25 adopting Building Memories You can build colorful memories for your adopted child by putting together a lifebook or other journal record. compiled by Holt staff Above: Olivia Bennett, 3, was born in China and now lives in Idaho. Getting started • While you’re in your child’s birth country, gather items that will help your child know their birthplace when they’re older. After you get home, many things will be impossible to collect, so begin compiling a list before you travel. • Keep a journal of your trip, including information not only about the places you went, but about your earliest interactions with your child. • Many families get pictures of their child’s caregivers, maps of the cities they stay in, postcards, a newspaper from the day they receive their child and receipts from tourist sites. • If you are allowed to visit your child’s foster family, ask permission to take photographs. Write descriptions of your child’s foster parents, the home and neighborhood they lived in, and their kindnesses to you and your child. • If your child was abandoned and you are allowed to visit the abandonment site, ask for permission to take photos. Describe the site in your own words. Who is at the site the day you visit? What colors and textures do you see? What do you hear? What is the date of your visit? • Photos of Holt’s in-country staff, other members of your travel group, and scenes of the country will also be precious mementos for your family and child. • If you are the lucky recipient of a letter from the orphanage or foster parents, have it translated. 26 Winter 2007 Be sure to archive it as carefully as your child’s photo, reports, and legal documents. • Whether or not you receive a letter, send a photo of your child back to the orphanage or foster parent at least once. Describe your child’s development and your joy that she is part of your family. If you or she returns to the birth country in the future, you may have the opportunity to meet your child’s caretaker or foster parent again. • If your child is under 6 when he or she comes home, your child is unlikely to remember the orphanage or the foster family. Your photos and descriptions will be all that your child has of their life in the birth country. • Show your photos, your journal, and your child’s documents to your child as he or she grows up and answer questions about them. Give your child the first photos, your journal, and the documents when your child is responsible enough to care for them as carefully as you have. Include in the lifebook or journal record • A discussion of conditions in the country, and the rules for adoption. • Interests, gifts and talents your adopted child has in common with members of her adoptive family. • Drawings made by your child, as well as poems, stories and songs. Highlight favorite quotes. Let your child be the star of her story. ■ Jariya’s Book of Loss and Love One mother wrote a lifebook from the point-of-view of her adopted daughter. An Excerpt My name is Jariya. I live in the United States. I was born on the other side of the world in Bangkok, Thailand. My life officially started at 8 o’clock on a Friday evening at Rajavithee Hospital. It was August 19, 2543, the year of the dragon (a.k.a. 2000). I had dark black eyes and lots of shiny black hair. The doctors took all my measurements: Weight 2450 gms (5 lbs 6 oz) Length 48 cm (19 in) Chest circumference 30 cm (11.8 in) Head circumference 32 cm (12.6 in) I stayed at the hospital with my Thai mother for four days until we both were discharged to the Maternity Home. We stayed there for another 10 days and my Thai mother took care of me. When I was born she was a young teenager. My birth father is older. I do not know much about him, but I do know that he can make mistakes. Though my Thai mother cared for me, she was unmarried and could not raise me. When I was just 13 days old, she asked the good people at the Holt Sahathai Foundation to find a new family for me. Then she said goodbye and returned home to go to school. Over the next year she contacted Holt twice to see how I was doing. While Holt looked for the right parents for me they put me in the care of a loving foster mother. She was 57 years old and lived with her married son on the fourth floor of an army apartment building. Though most Americans would think that their apartment was small, they found room for me. Life with Yai At night I slept in the same bed as my “yai” (she taught me to call her this Thai word for maternal grandmother). We spent our days together, often going for a walk in the stroller. Yai and I really loved each other. When I was a baby... With my Yai’s love and good care I thrived. I was a healthy, content, outgoing, active and cheerful baby. I drank lots of formula, grew bigger and stronger. and was crawling at 7 months and walking at 10 months. By the time I was a year old I was saying my first Thai words: maa (dog), dta (grandfather), mum mum (baby Thai for food), and of course, yai. ■ —by Annie Davis (a pen-name), who dedicated this book to Jariya Joy Davis so she will always know how much she is loved. Bringing My Brother Home A journal sample from a 9-year-old girl who traveled with her family to Thailand to receive her brother. Lexi holds Kruz at their hotel room after meeting him for the first time. 1/18/06 Today was the first day that we got to meet Kruz. We rode in our hotel van with a couple that’s adopting a little girl. When we arrived, we watched a movie about adoption, and we waited eagerly for Kruz to arrive. When he did, we sat down in the back room and played with him. It was obvious that it was confusing and scary for him because he began to cry as soon as we began to play with him. By the end of the day, he started to laugh and play more. So we hated to take him back to his foster family. The foster family all hugged us, and we knew right away that they were loving people. 1/21/06 1/19/06 Since we made an appointment to get Kruz’s visa and passport, we went to these appointments. For lunch we had pizza. Then we went street shopping. Later, we saw a show with girls that had very long fingernails, and they were wearing pink dresses. Of course, before they arrived to dance, Kruz got up on the deck and started to dance. He was the opening act for the Thai dances. We had been having a lot of fun, but we were ready to go home. So we went to the American Airline office and changed our flights to an earlier day. Now we must pack! ■ This is the second time I got to see Kruz. He seemed more glad to see us. When we were on our way to the hotel, Kruz fell asleep, and we had to carry him into our hotel room without waking him up. We waited a long two hours before he finally woke up, and we got to play with him for two more hours. Then at 4 o’clock he had to go back to his foster parents, which was very sad. 1/20/06 I am so excited! Today we get to keep Kruz for good. Kruz fell asleep right after we got to our hotel room… This was Kruz’s first morning with us, and he was really happy. I think this was my favorite day on this trip… 1/26/06 —by Lexi Cunningham www.holtinternational.org 27 adoptees today Journeys to Korea Thoughts about returning to the land of her birth from one of the newest members of the Holt International Board of Directors. by Kim Hanson Omaha, Neb. Kim Hanson holds a child at the Jeonju Baby Center in Korea while traveling with the Holt 2006 Korea Gift Team. I I was adopted by a family in the United States at the age of 4½ years. Even then, I knew I was Korean. Growing up, I accepted that I was adopted and was “content” not knowing my past. I continued with my life, married and had two children by birth. In 1998 my husband and I adopted a little girl from Korea, something I had always wanted to do when I became a mother. From then on, I got a little more involved with Holt International as a volunteer greeter in Omaha. When escorts fly into the Omaha airport bringing children from their birth countries to their new families in the United States, I am there to make sure they get the help they need. In September 2005, I returned to Korea for the first time at the age of 38 as Holt Children’s Services of Korea (HCS) was celebrating its 50th anniversary. The whole week of celebrations and tours was amazing. I met people from all over the world and staff members from both Holt International and HCS. To top off my first trip to Korea, I had the best honor as an adoptee to escort a baby home to the United States to his family. Skip Hanson comforts a child in Korea. Flying home, I came across an article in Holt’s magazine about the Christmas Gift Team trip to Korea. I wanted to go and told my husband the next day. He was shocked, as I had just returned from Korea. Over the next year, I not only returned to Korea with the 2005 Gift Team, I also went on the 2006 Motherland Tour, to Holt International’s 50th anniversary celebration in Oregon, and back again to Korea with my husband, Skip, on the 2006 Gift Team. With the 2006 Gift Team, I experienced the purest sense of the word ”joy” when I saw the faces of the children at the orphanage we visited and on the faces of the residents at Ilsan. The Motherland Tour allowed me to concentrate on myself as an adoptee and to visit my orphanage. Being able to share in the journeys of other adoptees on the trip was simply unbelievable. We were all different ages and at different stages in our lives, but the bond was still there. In Korea the journey was surreal, but when we got home it all came flooding in. When I visited my old orphanage [not a Holt orphanage], even the entrance was sad for me to look at, although it was painted to look happy. It was an entrance to a life of unknowns. During the three years I lived there, I had to share everything even though I did not want to. I had no choice, nothing would ever be mine for keeps. I don’t remember being there, but remember the concrete and dirt floor for some reason. After the Motherland Tour, I wrote in my journal and continued life story, “Does this trip make me feel complete? No, I was complete prior to this trip. This trip allowed me to say, I’m done; done with all the questions I’ve had in my head all these years.” ■ 2006 Korea Gift Team The Gift Team was a great blend of understanding Holt’s many programs, personal contact with each of these programs, and exposure to Korea’s culture, people and history. Through a well-timed and planned schedule, we were able to see the full range of the Holt programs embodied in Harry Holt’s vision of “Every child deserves a family.” The trip allowed me to see that this vision is much, much more than just international adoptions. It encompasses unwed mothers and their needs, foster mothers, newborns and infants, young boys and girls, and children and adults with disabilities. Holt creates opportunities to build families for all who are in need. God bless you all there at Holt. You gave us our child and she has blessed us beyond measure. —by Skip Hanson 28 Winter 2007 That Old Holt Camp Feeling A former Holt Camp camper and counselor finds a new place to share her heart with adopted children. A As a Holt Camp regular for nearly a decade, I was privileged to meet people who influenced my life and became my heroes, my mentors and my best friends. For years since my last camp, I failed to find the magic of those days and those remarkable people. take on the world. In my own shaking voice I could hear the tones of my heroes and mentors, the loves of my life, whose stories poured through me and stayed in my soul. That same old feeling overwhelmed me. by Elizabeth Lilley Westwood, N.J. The most amazing part of the day was, as it always Then I met a student who told me about a pro- is, the people who volunteered, giving not only their gram organized by The Korean American Student time, but also their hearts to complete strangers. I Association (KASA) of Princeton. He invited me was surprised to get that “old feeling” and have so to tag along. A day spent many happy memories floodIn my own shaking voice I playing with young adoptees, ing back. eating yummy Korean food, It’s a blessing to be a part could hear the tones of my and talking about adoption of something with such treheroes and mentors, the loves seemed like a collision of mendous emotional magnitude all my favorite things—how of my life, whose stories poured and to give back could I resist? to new families through me and stayed in my The much anticipated day some of the love soul. That same old feeling arrived and when I reached that helped to my destination, a few famibuild our own. overwhelmed me. lies were already registering. These nonShrieking and giggling, young adoptees from Korean adoptees and their siblings played with each Princeton not only understood, but other and the members of KASA while the parents they embraced the opportunity. I watched and smiled. looked at this collection of people The fun-filled day included Korean games, a drum and saw the same spark that I have performance, a Tae Kwon Do demonstration, a deli- searched for and missed for so many cious Korean lunch, a Korean folktale skit, and an arts years. A perfect mix of warmth and and crafts activity. In a forum, another adoptee and I energy radiated from their charismatic spoke to the parents about our personal experiences excitement as they welcomed these with adoption and explored with them the joys and families as their own. anxiousness of the adoption process, the celebration of the arrival day, the completion of their families and the indescribable strength of their emotional bond with their children. As we talked about the emotions and different obstacles faced by Korean adoptees and their families, I saw tears forming in the eyes of some parents. I could see in them my own parents with all their hopes, dreams and love for their children—the desire to protect, shelter and nurture as well as to help them questions p Director for m Ca , lb ext. 245 Ka e 541.687.2202 contact Stev | rg l.o na tio nterna stevek@holti That was the quality that always drew me back to camp. After the event, the Princeton students went back to their lives, but on that day, they made a difference in the lives of those families. Such a beautiful display of humanity can only be described by a single word. Love. Love in its simplest and truest form. ■ lti ww.ho ne: w Go onli r the ister fo g e r to p. p e Cam g/cam r te o p l. o a d n A o 2007 nternati neighborhood calendar Arkansas March 3—TBA Quarterly Family Recruitment and Family Support Meeting. Contact the Branch Office for more information at (501) 723-4444 or e-mail Branch Director Lynn Sims at lynns@ holtinternational.org California Aug. 5–9—Dobbins Holt Adoptee Camp for adoptees 9 to 16 years old. Contact: Steve Kalb at (541) 6872202 or [email protected] Colorado Holt International. Doors open at 5 p.m., dinner at 6:15. Adults $8; Children 9–12 $4. For registration or to volunteer call Cathy Torrey at (908) 996-4541 or the NJ Branch Office at (609) 882-4972. To donate items for gift baskets call Barbara Hurte at (908) 213-0184 or Holly Maschio at (201) 263-1873. July—Stirling Camp Friendship, a Korean culture day camp for Korean adoptees and their siblings entering grades K–7. For more information see www.campfriendshipnj.com June to August—Fraser Colorado Heritage Camps, Birth culture camps for children adopted from various countries. For more information see www. heritagecamps.org August 3—Steel Pier, Atlantic City Holt Day, a family fun day for Holt families, noon to midnight. Contact: New Jersey Branch Office at holtday@ holtinternational.org Iowa Oregon Sept. 15—LeGrand Holt Family Picnic for adoptive families, adult adoptees, parents in process and prospective adoptive parents. May 11—Valley River Inn, Eugene Colors of Hope dinner auction to benefit the children of Vietnam. Contact: Caroline Toy, Holt Events Manager, at (800) 451-0732 or [email protected] Mailing List Update Southwest Iowa Adoption Support Group, for all current, new or returning members, contact Terri Dreismeier at [email protected] to forward your family name, address, phone number, name of adults and children, and e-mail address if you are interested in events and gatherings. Nebraska Feb. 24—Embassy Suites Hotel, Omaha Colors of Hope dinner auction to benefit the children of Korea. Contact: Event co-chairs Tracy Frerichs at (402) 614-6002 or [email protected] or Susan Bailey at (402) 614-8859 or [email protected] July 29–Aug. 2, 2007—Ashland Holt Adoptee Camp for adoptees 9 to 16 years old. Contact: Steve Kalb at (541) 687-2202 or [email protected] New Jersey April 14—North Brunswick North Brunswick High School, Annual Holt Dinner & Auction, sponsored by Holt families as a fundraiser for Sign up today for the new Holt e-newsletter *For up-to-date news on adoption, inspirational stories of children and families. *When you sign up, your Holt International e-newsletter will be delivered to your e-mail address. go to holtinternational.org/enews July 22–26—Corbett Holt Adoptee Camp for adoptees 9 to 16 years old. Contact: Steve Kalb at (541) 687-2202 or [email protected] August 4—Eugene Holt Family Picnic for adoptive families, adult adoptees, parents in process and prospective adoptive parents. Pennsylvania Aug. 12–16—Starlight Holt Adoptee Camp, for adoptees 9 to 16 years old. Contact: Steve Kalb at (541) 687-2202 or [email protected] Texas March 25—Austin Ranch, Grapevine Texas Tea & Fashion Show to benefit the children of Southeast Asia. Contact: Julia Banta at (817) 329-5257 or [email protected] It’s Winter Jam time again, and we need your help! We need volunteers to help concert attendees as they sign up to sponsor children in Holt care. Holt is partnering with NewSong, a Dove Award-winning Christian music group, to promote Holt Child Sponsorship, and NewSong is coming to your area! The Winter Jam concert, features NewSong, Steven Curtis Chapman, Jeremy Camp and others. If you can give an evening for the children, please contact Clarice Aeby at Holt for specific instructions. [email protected] or call 1-888-355-HOLT ext. 178. This is an exciting event, and you will be blessed to see children receive Sponsors. As a thank you, NewSong will provide you a free concert ticket and CD. sponsorship Orphaned, abandoned and vulnerable children around the world need food, shelter, clothing and medical treatment... essentials your sponsorship of $30 per month will help provide. Choose a child to sponsor from Holt’s website: ur Sponsorship can... www.holtinternational.org/sponsorship or call 800.451.0732 finding families for children www.holtinternational.org 31 2007 Holt Heritage Tours Places in the heart finding families for children connection :: culture :: experience :: engage Heritage Tours for adoptees and their families China Family Tours Contact Angela Burke, China Program | (541) 687-2202 | [email protected] Korea Motherland Tour | Korea Family Tour Contact Paul Kim, Korea Program | (541) 687-2202 | [email protected] holtinternational.org/tours finding families for children finding families for children Post Of fice Box 2880 E u g e n e OR 9 7 4 0 2 finding families for children Change Ser vice Requested finding families for children Nonprofit Org US Postage Paid Eugene OR Permit No. 291